I am looking for good information on how someone can become a good
leader and not lose their friends.  It is oftentimes difficult to be an
effective leader, and still maintain friendship with people,
especially since you must still enforce rules, even for friends.

Hi vortix-ga

A good way to start is to look at different styles of leadership:

http://www.see.ed.ac.uk/~gerard/MENG/ME96/Documents/Styles/styles.html

http://www.casaa-resources.net/resources/sourcebook/student-leadership/leadership-styles.html

Different types of groups require different types of leaders for
optimum performance. If you are leading a group of highly motivated,
highly skilled individuals then a laissez-faire approach would work.
If you used an autocratic style, they may feel resentful towards you.

So, you need to consider the group you are leading and adopt the
appropriate style of leadership.

Usually, a mixture of task oriented and socio emotional styles of
leadership produce the best results. That is to say, although you
should focus on getting the job done, consideration of the feelings of
the group should be taken into account.

As a leader, conflict is occasionally inevitable. Take a look at pages
8 and 9 of the following article for some tips on avoiding conflict
(the whole article is worth reading though):

http://ohioprincipals.org/PDF/Session%206%20Chapter%205.pdf

I would suggest using a democratic approach with your friends. In
fact, you could try a laissez-faire style which they might respond to.
Try to avoid being too authoratitive - they'll just think you're
talking down to them. Use the autocratic style sparingly, only in
situations where it is absolutely necessary.

Hope this is helpful. If you require a clarification just hit the
button!

Good luck!

sim-ga


Search Engine: Google

Search Terms:

task-oriented" "socio-emotional" leadership

://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=%22task-oriented%22+%22socio-emotional%22+leadership

"leadership styles" OR "styles of leadership"

://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=%22group+psychology%22+%22leadership+styles%22+OR+%22styles+of+leadership%22&btnG=Google+Search

I think it's important to let people know that 'business is business',
to treat your friends the same as anyone else while you are in a
professional situation. Then, once you're back in a social situation,
treat them as a friend and don't mention the business side of things
unless they bring it up.

Perhaps for you to keep friends and still be a good leader, you should
make sure you're not the leader of your closest friends.

vortix...

You may want to explore the following books:

The Tao of Personal Leadership by Diane Dreher
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0887308376/ref=lib_rd_next_6/104-5071569-3535127?v=glance&s=books&vi=reader&img=6#reader-link

The Tao of Leadership

John Heider  Read by Ralph Blum, with Denis Waitley
http://www.bookzone.com/bookzone/10000656.html

Vortix-ga,

Being a leader is something that I really believe is better
experienced than taught...There are thousands of books and resources
on leadership, yet I find that of the many people who read them, few
actually become leaders themselves.  If you aren't in a position of
leadership right now, try and become one (start a club, study group,
initiate a project, something!).  If you are already one, then all the
better.  Ask the people closest to you, those that you are leading,
for constructive criticism about your leadership style and remember to
keep in mind the golden rule:
"Don't treat others in a way that you wouldn't like to be treated"
And you should do fine.  Leadership is not meant to alienate you from
your friends, it should, in fact, bring you closer together.  Don't be
afraid to ask for help if you need it.  Never forget that your team's
accomplishments are your team's accomplishments, not YOUR
accomplishments; don't take credit for everything.  Definitely act
like yourself. I hope that helped.

-Tox-ga