Why do sometimes bad things happen to good people, and sometimes bad
people who dont deserve anything end up getting more than anyone else
for some crazy reason?  (honestly, this is the question every school
child asks when they learn about God. yet it's true, God or no God,
bad things happen to good people. Why?

Or maybe the question should just be "Does fate exist"... any answer
that satisfies is much appreciated! Thanks!

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Clarification of Question by lxluthr-ga on 19 Nov 2002 10:13 PST

and is there is really one person out there for everyone.  what if
they're in budapest and you never go to budapest throughout your whole
life? or if you did go, would it be "you" going or "fate" pushing you
to go on that business trip?

Hi xluthr,

That question has been asked by man since time immemorial. Many,
especially the clergy, hear it all the time and try to deal with it
according to how it fits into their respective faiths.

Humans seem to want to attach blame to something for everything that
goes wrong or is painful to them. Most often it's God. Maybe the
Biblical quote, "Vengeance is mine..." - Romans 12:19 (KJV) is the
reason for that.

Personally, I don't think there will ever be a confirmed answered. I
can explain to you my thoughts on the subject and link you to some
websites which discuss the issue, though.

To paraphrase an oft-heard statement, "Stuff happens." 

Fate, karma -- both words are bandied about constantly. If everyone
relied on fate, nothing would get done. I strongly disagree with Mark
Twain who declared, "There ain't no such thing as an accident; there
ain't nothing happens in the world but what's ordered just so by a
wiser power than us, and it's always for a good purpose ..." - Mark
Twain

If I get angry, kick the wall, and break my toe that's a bad thing,
but is it fate? No, it's my fault. If I'm walking down the road in a
heavy wind and a tree branch drops on my head, is that my fault? Did
God have nothing better to do at that moment than to drop something on
my head? I don't think so (but who knows for sure.) Stuff happens!

Ironically, Dag Hammarskjold once said, "We are not permitted to
choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours." -
Dag Hammarskjold
I'm wondering if he believed that when the plane he was in crashed,
killing him and all others aboard.

We could go round and round but when all is said and done, the answer
lies within everyone and is dependent on one's personal beliefs and
faith.

I'll direct you to some websites so you can read others' thoughts. 

keyword phrase "bad things happen to good people"

< ://www.google.ca/search?q=bad+things+happen+to+good+people&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
>

This is a page which summarizes a book by Harold S. Kushner (1981)
which he wrote "as a reaction to personal tragedy." Each chapter is
annotated and you can read an except from each by clicking the
underlined chapter title.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People
http://www.gurus.com/dougdeb/Courses/bestsellers/Kushner/BTmain.htm


The author of this Christianity-focused article makes an interesting
point. She believes that God doesn't MAKE bad things happen, he just
doesn't STOP them from happening.
  
Bad Things Happen to Good People
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/9127/bad.html


Next comes a brief page -- the webmaster is comparing Bibles quotes
for both the negative and positive sides of his question.

Do bad things happen to good people?
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/shithappens.html

View the results of a poll that asked the question, "Why do bad things
happen to good people?." Only 12 answered it, but you'll see my
personal opinion (Stuff Happens) got a zero.

WTBN AM 570 & 910
http://www.bayword.com/poll/viewall.asp?ID=475

Okay, now! Here we have an essay (unattributed) in which the author
says of course there's an answer -- a short, simple, obvious answer.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
http://www.generalinformatics.com/badthings.htm

Now, about your other question, '...is there is really one person out
there for everyone?" You know, I've heard that said often, but never
really gave it any thought. I appreciate the opportunity to think it
through with. Thank you.
 
There may be some truth in that, but I do believe it's one of those
statements that shouldn't be taken literally.

I don't believe that a person is born and 'programmed' to be totally
compatible with only one person. People aren't like jigsaw puzzles
where a piece can fit properly to just one other.

Why do I say that? Well, I know that people change. Certainly, I'm not
the same person now that I was at 20 or 40 or even 50! Perhaps if I'd
met my husband at older age I might not have married him. He was
'right' for me then, but would he be right today? Marriage has kept us
compatible as we matured and changed together.

There are a pile of people (too many) on this planet and they'd all be
very lonely if they didn't take a chance on a companion. We just can't
put things off in CASE the right one comes along. We have to go for
it, and work at it, and hope things go as we'd like them to.

And another thing -- just making an observation on scientic fact --
more females than males are born. Is that a quirk of fate? What
happens to all the women when the men are taken and accounted for?

And finally, how horrible it would be to go through life knowing that
you only had ONE person who was right for you. What if you find
someone who's good, something bad happens to him or her. Are you
doomed to be alone for the rest of your life? No, I just can't swallow
that, at all.

I wish you well.   :)
revbrenda1st

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Clarification of Answer by revbrenda1st-ga on 19 Nov 2002 17:08 PST

lxluthr, you are most welcome! A great rating AND a tip!! I can't
thank you enough. I'm a brand new Google researcher and, as such, am
treading carefully. Your question intrigued me and your response to my
answer pleases me to no end.

Grateful regards,
revbrenda1st

Thank you! These where actually my girlfriend's questions. I think
she'll appreaciate the wisdom of your answers! thanks

Dear All, 
I think this is a very serious matter that can affect many lives, all
lives in fact, and the thing that you mentioned young children and
their philosophical simple question and who to answer them complicates
the matter even more.
The thing is that there are too many factors and variables to be
considered in order to answer such a deep question. To count among
many: the essence of life, its meaning, God's power and Knowledge,
humans ability to analyze and think, coincidence Vs. No accidents.
In my humble view, we can begin with that not everything that you
consider bad is really bad and the opposite is true. And there are
things that can be bad at first and then gets better afterwards and
you like it and vice versa.
(But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and
that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But God knoweth, and ye
know not) Holly Qouran 2:216
and i think we all had experiences like this before.
the second thing, if you are a believer in God and in the Afterlife,
heaven and hell, then you should believe that life is to certain
extent, an ongoing test, in which, there are other small tests or
quizzes inside. Sometimes the questions are hard questions/situations
and sometimes they are not.
Fourth: life is not a day or two, its a whole thing, try taking it as
a whole, don’t judge what God did to you today or yesterday, but try
to take it as a whole, maybe these people that you say bad things
happened to them will receive good things after, and please try to
take even one life as a whole and see if they received always bad
things, i am utterly sure that you can never find one case, this will
take the mercy out of the Merciful. And please try to ask the people
that you think bad things happened to them if they really consider it
as being bad. it is a perspective thing, and the rule of the glass
half full and half empty applies greatly on these circumstances. to
every thing that has happened there will always be a half full, and
trying harder to find the good in the bad can reveal astonishing
results
Fifth: Some Believers (thought high on the ladder) do consider these
"bad" things as a purification to the Soul, a must to try to nullify
the exuberant account of guilt that every human commit every day.
there are those who thank God on everything he grants them. they
search the wisdom, they go beyond the actual acts and try to reach the
essence, there are people who look for the lesson (as there is always
lessons) in order to be a better person afterwards
Sixth: He is God, the Merciful the Most Gracious, God does not oppress
people but he is applying mercy on them, maximizing there chances for
Heaven and settling the score for things they did before in their
life, that maybe He doesn’t want them to stand before Him on judgment
day with this burden.
Seventh: As for why good things happen to bad people: you can refer
back to the fourth point and maybe to the story of Quaroun who was the
richest man on earth in Moses time
The Holly Qouran, 28:79 
[79]So he (Qaroun) went forth among his people in the (pride of his
worldly) glitter. Said those whose aim is the Life of this World: "Oh!
that we had the like of what Qarun has got! For he is truly a lord of
mighty good fortune!"
[80] But those who had been granted (true) knowledge said: "Alas for
you! The reward of God (in the Hereafter) is best for those who
believe and work righteousness: but this none shall attain, save those
who steadfastly persevere (in good)."
[81] Then We caused the earth to swallow him up and his house; and he
had not (the least little) party to help him against God, nor could he
defend himself.
[82] And those who had envied his position the day before began to say
on the morrow: "Ah! It is indeed God Who enlarges the provision or
restricts it, to any of His servants He pleases! Had it not been that
God was gracious to us, He could have caused the earth to swallow us
up! Ah! Those who reject God will assuredly never prosper."
[83] That House of the Hereafter We shall give to those who intend not
high-handedness or mischief on earth: and the End is (best) for the
righteous.

One last point as for the weight of good things and bad things. as far
as i know there is no objective measure for everything in this world,
and i think the intangible things ( like true love, happiness,
companionship, wisdom, serenity, having kids, having a family... and
the list goes on) are the ones that really settle the score, try to
weight all these things and then convert them to dollar terms to see
for example if your love for your girlfriend worth more than a house
in palm beach or a Lamborghini, and i defy anyone on this planet to
set a price tag for a son or a daughter. I do have a certain
perspective on this issue that i cannot prove, that God has this
objective measure for everything, and i may say that we will ALL be
given equal weights in the course of our life time, this is the
absolute fairness, which God is.
so try to take a good look at the people who has good things happened
to them, and try to look again at the picture, you will never EVER
find someone that has everything, and you will always find something
missing. and try the sons and daughters things as people may cherish
them more than anything in the world, and please don’t just look for a
day, and say i didn’t find anything wrong with them, they have
everything. look again and again, look at the people that you may
refer as having everything, and look deep,  I know an old lady who
maybe had a lot of "things" at a certain point of her life and then
lost her beloved son being old, you cant imagine, you cant imagine, no
one can compare the feeling, all the jewels and glory in the world
wouldn’t bring him back. It was hard, very hard, but it is purifying.
There is no good things and bad things, turn to God, Accept what he
gives you, and thank him for it, because you don’t know what is really
good and what is really bad for you. He does

LxLuther,

I am not sure whether the idea that I am about to provide will answer
the specific questions your girlfriend has asked, but I am going to
post it as general background on the question of Free Will v
Predestination.

I believe that the reality in which we (presumably) exist is best
described by anology to geometric/numberical concept found in fractal
mathematics and known as the Mandelbrot Set.   You can see a picture
and read a brief, non-mathematical explanation of its properties here:

http://www.cygnus-software.com/gallery/mandelbrot.htm

The most relevent properties of this figure is that, while the set is
of a finite area, it contains infinite detail, and has an infinite
circumference.   This idea of infinite detail and complexity within a
finite object is, at least to a non-mathematician, quite a paradox.

I propose that the reality that we exist within operates in a somewhat
similar way.  That is, while the shape (representing
Fate/Destiny/Predestination) is a fixed and finite one, the
opportunities and choices open to us WITHIN that shape are infinite. 
Hence, within the fixed, predestined universe, we are still permitted
infinite freedom to exercise our Free Will.

I hope you find this concept as interesting as I did - I think that it
is quite a novel idea, and a different way of thinking about an
age-old problem!

Seadragon-Ga

You might find some interest in

http://www.religioustolerance.org/reac_ter3.htm - essay title:

THEODICY: 
WHY DOESN'T GOD PREVENT EVIL?