I would like a list of the best sports taunts, for use on hand-held
signs at basketball and hockey games.  For example, "Kiss your mama at
the bus stop…‘Cause we’re takin’ you to school!"  Anything goes, the
meaner the better.

Dear jgoddard-ga;

Thank you for allowing me an opportunity to answer your question.

These come from a guy who claims to specialize in sports heckling. He
says he gets great results with them:

“Yup...That's Me...The Heckler”
http://www.epinions.com/content_1022599300

"Hey #20, why are you sweating?! You haven't dome ANYTHING!" 

"Hey Juwan Howard, you're so soft I don't even know how you can stand
up!"

"Hey, you've got more fouls than POINTS!" 

"Hey, "double zero", nice turnover! They're going to change your
number to "minus one" now!

"What kinda lame haircut is that?!" (Usually I can get the crowd to
chant "Haiiiiiircut! Haiiiiircut!" after this one.)


If you're trying to yell at the refs, here are some good ones to use
in almost any sport.

"You aren't a real ref, go back to FOOT LOCKER!" 

"How do you sleep at night?!" 

"How much is (name of opposing team) PAYING YOU?!" 

"THIS is the example you set for your kids?!"

A stadium wide chant of, "The ref beats his wife!" will either get him
to make some better calls, or kick you all out of the game.



You will also find a few good ones here:

“Heckling Chipper And Barry”
http://www.sportsfanmagazine.com/readUpdates.php3?KEY_ARTICLE_ID=765



But this, my friend, (and I saved the best one for last) is by far the
motherlode of great sports heckles:

“Heckle Depot”
http://www.heckledepot.com/

You will find a ton of hilarious heckles here submitted by visitors
and sports fans. At last count there were 675 in the collection. I
nearly hurt myself just reading through them. There are many examples
under the other heading but for the best ones look to the upper left
under the heading HECKLES and choose you poison.


By the way, Sega Sports is holding a heckle contest and prizes will be
award for the best heckle of all time. You may not wish to enter but
in the end you will be able to see the results and read all the
submissions. You should be able to get a million great ideas after the
contest is over. Have fun!

“Sega Sports – Best Heckle Contest”
http://www.sega.com/segasports/articles/contest_wsb_heckle.jhtml


I hope you find that that my research exceeds your expectations. If
you have any questions about my research please post a clarification
request prior to rating the answer. I welcome your rating and your
final comments and I look forward to working with you again in the
near future. Thank you for using Google Answers.

Best regards;
Tutuzdad-ga



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Sports heckles

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Favorite taunts sports

Good answer overall... Only downside is that I was looking
specifically for basketball and hockey, most of the answer is related
to baseball.

This is rather a tenuous relationship to the question...

but hilarious none the less!

The Aussie cricketers are notorious for their 'sledging' (verbally
abusing the oppostion batsmen).

They were playing Zimbabwe, who were batting. Out strolls Eddo
Brandes, a rather rotund chicken farmer. Upon his arrival at the
crease, the legendary fast bowler Glenn McGrath quipped (somewhat
unimaginatively)

'Hey, how come you're so fat?'

To which Eddo replies (and this is true)

'Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit!'

Hi guys

On the subject of Aussies and taunts:
I once heard Herschelle Gibbs (South African opening bat and fielder)
giving an interview. Apperantly, when the opposing side scrambles for
a run, he would say "I have seen better runs in the bathroom."

Hope this is helpfull.

KbKJ