I'm looking for a book I read in the summer of 2001.  I do not have
the title or the author, only quotes from text that I wrote down.  I'm
almost certain the book was published between 1999 and 2002.  Quotes: 
"A mother's
function is to create an environment for her baby in which it is safe
to be nobody."  "For an infant relaxation means not feeling a need to
integrate because the mother's ego-supportive function is taken for
granted." "The infant who can 'be' as opposed to the one who can only
'do' has the capacity to feel real.  In the unintegrated state he
makes discoveries about himself that affirm his existing."
"Non-demanding support is essential for capacity to 'be'."  These
quotes may not be exact but are close to exact.   This was either a
psychology book, a self-help book or a human development book.

Hello Wootown,

The book you are referring to is “Going to Pieces without Falling
Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness” by Mark Epstein.

Here is an excerpt from an article where some of your quotations are
mentioned:

(..) 

“I began reading Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart, by, Mark
Epstein.  In his book, Dr. Epstein rose many interesting points about
babies and our inherent spiritual nature.  One such point stated, 
“The infant who can be, as opposed to one who can only do, has the
capacity to feel real. (Epstein, pg. 40)

(..)

Dr. Epstein suggests that “It is the mother’s function…to create an
environment for her baby in which it is safe to be nobody, because it
is only out of such a place that [she] can begin to find herself.”
(Epstein, pg. 37)”

Source: The Online Buddhist center
http://www.idsl.net/heather/onlinebuddhistcenter/familyroom/theadultcenter/babiesandbuddhanature.html


The book “Going to Pieces without Falling Apart: A Buddhist
Perspective on Wholeness” by Mark Epstein is available at the Amazon
Website.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0767902343/ref=ase_spiritwalkA/002-7789571-7981607
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0767902351/002-7789571-7981607?vi=glance


Additional information that may interest you:

A Review of the Book
http://www.webheights.net/lovethyself/mepstein/mepieces.htm

An Interview with Mark Epstein
http://human-nature.com/interviews/epstein.html


Search Criteria:
create an environment for her baby in which it is safe to be nobody


I hope you find this helpful and if there is anything that I've
written that needs clarification, please ask before you rate this
answer.

Best Regards,
Bobbie7-ga

---

Clarification of Answer by bobbie7-ga on 16 Dec 2002 12:17 PST

Thank you for the five star rating and generous tip!

I am delighted to have my answer so quickly and for the websites and
references bobbie7-ga listed for me.  I'm now going to check the book
out at the library.