This question is spawned from reading "how does one become a more
interesting person" at
http://answers.google.com/answers/main?cmd=threadview&id=112777.

While I feel that I follow the criteria there, I read (although not as
much as I'd like to, I spend too much time studying for exams), watch
a lot of films have a strong interest in Home Cinema I find that often
in a social situation I run out of thinks to ask, as after all
conversation on a social level (for example, in the Pub) is either
debate or question asking. I feel I know a little of everything and
everything of a little.

What sort of questions can you ask or make conversation at such a
time? I seem to (especially with people who I regularly acquaint with)
run out of thinks to ask once I've covered the ground between the
present and when I last saw them. "What have you been up to this week"
etc. I'm usually pretty good when meeting new people, the standard
questions you ask to someone you know very little about last for a
good hour or so, but where from then?

I usually try to latch onto similar interests or similarities in Jobs
and go from there, but I often find myself recovering old ground.
Current affairs seems to be a favourite of  mine at the moment, but I
find that most people in their late teens aren't as interested as
myself.

This applies to either guys or girls on a social level, to appear
interesting or at least interested. I don't always struggle with this,
but often I find myself left out when the conversation swings out of
my understanding or interest (for example, I don't follow football as
strongly as some of my friends, nor do I want to). So maybe the
questions shouldn't be specific but rather of topical debate?

I realise that I may have over clarified my question, don't let that
put you off, the question is still pretty much "Making Conversation"
but backed up with some more information about myself to maybe aid you
in discovering what questions or topics would work best for me! I
realise I have thought about this one far to much, but I'd be
interested in any pointers you can offer me.


Thanks!

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Clarification of Question by addie-ga on 31 Dec 2002 05:33 PST

Just to Clarify, as I feel my mind may have wandered slightly while
constructing the post, the question is focued on "questions to ask of
someone" (although this is based on what I want to know, but this is
the point - I don't know what I want to know!) and "converstaional
topics" (what do you think of X) as apposed to an alternative which I
didn't consider but is not relevant in this instance - Story Telling
of my own past / experiance which is not the route I want to go down.
:)

When making small-talk with strangers, I like to ask "Have you read
any good books lately?"

If they have, they will tell me about the books, which will be
interesting.

If they haven't, it is probably because they don't read books, in
which case I probably have little in common with them and need to find
someone else to talk to. ;-)

The best conversationalist is a good listener.  Listen closely to what
people are telling and not telling you.  One question can take you
into a half hour or more of conversation if you learn to listen.  Have
you read any good books lately? listen to the answer - if they tell
you that they haven't had much time to read a book lately, you need to
reflect that question back to them in the form of "you haven't had
much time to read?" which will then open them up to tell you what has
been happening in their life that has prevented them from reading -
perhaps they haven't been reading because they have a new girlfriend
that has been keeping them busy, a parent or pet that is ill, the need
for new glasses, etc.  Again, listening to their answer will open up
more opportunities for conversation.  Conversation is an art -
listening is inspiration that leads to a masterpiece.  Take a course
in communication - you will find it invaluable.  Good luck and good
listening.