I've been plenty hammered plenty of times. I've done so with beer,
wine, vodka, gin, whisky and rum (though usually not in the same
evening). But I've only had tequila on three occasions. On each of
those occasions I peed on something or somebody I shouldn't have. The
last instance being so embarrassing that I've not had tequila in over
a decade.

I've been much more drunk on other forms of alcohol. I've also
consumed much more, much faster than I did with the tequila, yet I
never peed anywhere inappropriate- just puked on my shoes and/or
passed out.

The question is, What the hell does tequila have in it that makes it
affect me this way? I've been Googling for some time, and am fairly
adept at it, but all I can come up with is humor sites about how
tequila makes you bullet-proof.

If your answer has horrible misspellings because you're laughing so
hard at me, I'll deduct a point from your score.

Thank you for your time.

Hello calaboss, 

Thank you kindly  :)

I'll just repost my answer here to keep everyone happy.

One traditional use for agave sap, apart from making tequila, is as a
diuretic (ie to induce peeing) eg "The sap has been used to produce
soap and for medicinal purposes as a diuretic, and to cure ulcers and
bruises."
http://www.yougrowgirl.com/explore/super_agave3.php 
 
Alcohol in itself is a diuretic "Alcohol also decreases blood levels
of the hormone vassopressin. Vassopressin is an anti-diuretic so by
decreasing levels of this hormone, alcohol increases urinary outflow."
http://www.nyu.edu/classes/azmitia/lectures/lecture17/Alcohol-Marijuana/
 
Therefore, tequila could well give you a double diuretic whammy and
make you want to pee A LOT.
 
Alcohol also decreases your sense of inhibition, and your motor
coordination. "After 4 to 5 units most people feel less inhibited and
more relaxed. After 8 or so units, most people slur their speech and
become less co-ordinated and clumsy."
http://area51.upsu.plym.ac.uk/~harl/alcohol.html 
Add those effects to the urgent messages being put out by your bladder
to your somewhat befuddled brain, and that might just explain why you
start peeing where normally you wouldn't.

Most likely you've been drinking shabby tequila. No offense intended.

Check out this page for some info on the various types:
http://www.fortunecity.com/lavender/jarman/454/tequila.html

What kind of tequila were you drinking, exactly?

Maybe the best question I've read.  Ever.

So I just did a search for "effects of tequila" and found TONS of
sites that discuss the unique properties of tequila.  Are they
scientific?  Not all of them, but they do all claim that tequila has
unique effects compared to other distilled alcohols.  Some even
specifically pointed to a common desire to disrobe when under the
influence of tequila.  A familiar symptom?  Hmm?

My recommendation:  Strap on a pair of www.depend.com, and you and
yours should be safe for a good 14 hours.

bottoms up.
bax

To Bookface: One time, I know it was Cuervo Gold. I'm not sure about
the other two, but I don't see how that matters. It's like "tequila
verus the world of other booze." As long as it's a professional
distillery, it should be the same basic chemical formula.

To Bax: I've never disrobed for Tequila......But her sister was
another story!

calaboss - I think it's like this:

Certain "spirits" affect people differently.  I know some people who
say, "...I CAN'T drink gin..it messes me up like no other..." or
"....beer is fine, wine is fine, but Champagne makes me do things I'd
never do otherwise....".

Like bookface suggests, you may have had shabby tequila, but my guess
goes beyond this.  I once sat in a bar with some guys who were gonna
"teach me to drink tequila right".  Well, after 6 or 7 shots, they
were toast, and I was standing tall.  I can't say that I can drink
tequila all night, but it certainly didn't do to me what it did to
them, tho.  We're all different.

My suggestion (not that you asked): enjoy your drinking (or drunk) on
other stuff.  Know your "weaknesses" and stay away from 'em.  You can
still enjoy being drunk......'till the morning!

Hello calaboss,

One traditional use for agave sap, apart from making tequila, is as a
diuretic (ie to induce peeing) eg "The sap has been used to produce
soap and for medicinal purposes as a diuretic, and to cure ulcers and
bruises."
http://www.yougrowgirl.com/explore/super_agave3.php

Alcohol in itself is a diuretic "Alcohol also decreases blood levels
of the hormone vassopressin. Vassopressin is an anti-diuretic so by
decreasing levels of this hormone, alcohol increases urinary outflow."
http://www.nyu.edu/classes/azmitia/lectures/lecture17/Alcohol-Marijuana/

Therefore, tequila could well give you a double diuretic whammy and
make you want to pee A LOT.

Alcohol also decreases your sense of inhibition, and your motor
coordination. "After 4 to 5 units most people feel less inhibited and
more relaxed. After 8 or so units, most people slur their speech and
become less co-ordinated and clumsy."
http://area51.upsu.plym.ac.uk/~harl/alcohol.html
Add those effects to the urgent messages being put out by your bladder
to your somewhat befuddled brain, and that might just explain why you
start peeing where normally you wouldn't.

To vlal: That was pretty much my thinking too. Oh, and I don't plan on
EVER drinking tequila again.

To tehuti: I believe that is as close an answer as can be given to
this question. And it makes me feel a little better about an incident
that still plagues my memories. Post it as one (just say "boo") and
the cash is yours. I see you are careful as to what questions you
answer. I won't disappoint you in the rating.