How can I improve this web page?

Your job is to review a single web page:
www.mercado-ventas.com/English-Spanish-Translation.htm
This page offers a translation service.

I, -the writer of the page-, am not an English native speaker, so you
would have to detect and correct any mistakes I might have done,
-including mistakes about English style or unclear expression.

You would also have to tell me your first impression, and if I have to
improve some things, or what I might have missed about the service,
which might be essential.

All criticism is highly welcomed, just imagine you are one of our
potential customers. Would or wouldn't you buy, and why? And what is
particularly difficult to do or to grasp in that web page, or where
would you need more information.

Many thanks!


P.s. I'm not one of the translators, nor did any translator help me,
-I'm the designer-. (My English is as good as you can see here.)


Additional Note: In case anyone is interested, we're also hiring a
customer service "manager". He has to answer customer's e-mails, (a
few each day), and help me proof-read any future content, and will get
8.88% of all sales. (Go into the web page, if interested.)

Hello wz,

I only included the text here that I thought needed changing.

Lets start with the "Benefits of our translations:"
I would change this to "Benefits of our Translation Service:"
Two translators for every project!
Independent proof-reading after every translation is finished!
Native experts - graduate students, university teachers and linguists!
Lowest price spectrum in the market!
Highest confidentiality!
100% satisfaction guaranteed!
Easy payment options!
Support staff always available!
Hiring us is as simple as sending your project by e-mail!

Change this paragraph:
OLD: We specialize only in English to Spanish translations and we
employ a unique methodology which guarantees the quality of the job
while maintaining our prices extremely low. You can choose among two
different offers depending on your needs.
NEW: We specialize only in English to Spanish translations. Our
service employs a unique methodology which guarantees the quality of
the job, while maintaining our extremely low prices. You can choose
among two different offers depending on your needs.

OLD: It's aimed at general texts, marketing documents and web sites.
These translations are performed by Latin-American graduate students
with at least 3 years experience in an English speaking country. All
translations are later proof-read by a Latin-American professional
translator. This way, you can pay much less, and the excellency of the
translation is guaranteed.
NEW: Our basic service is aimed at general texts, marketing documents
and web sites. These translations are performed by Latin-American
graduate students with at least 3 years experience in an English
speaking country. All translations are later proof-read by a
Latin-American professional translator. This way, you pay less and the
excellence of our service is guaranteed.

OLD:It's aimed at public and private documents which might be
difficult to understand for a layman or which manage a style or
terminology unusual in everyday life. These translations are done by
two professional Latin-American translators with at least 7 years
experience each one. All of our 6 translators are also university
teachers and linguists, and are officially certified in their
respective countries.
NEW: Our premium service is aimed at public and private documents
which might be more difficult to understand, or which use a
style/terminology unusual in everyday life. These translations are
done by two professional Latin-American translators with at least 7
years experience. All of our translators are university teachers,
linguists, and are also officially certified in their respective
countries.

OLD: The difference between European Spanish and Latin-American
Spanish is probably no greater than between British and American
English, so there are no fundamental problems of understanding.
Millions of Spaniards watch Latin-American soap operas without any
trouble, for example.
NEW: The difference between European Spanish and Latin-American
Spanish is probably no greater than British and American English, so
there are no fundamental problems of understanding. For example,
millions of Spaniards watch Latin-American soap operas without any
trouble.

OLD: You'll receive a link along with each fragment of your
translation to place an order by credit card, or using the method of
your convenience. You can visit ShareIt.com or their Customer Care
Center to know more about the payment process.
NEW: You will receive a link from us with each fragment of your
translation that will enable you to pay using your credit card. We
also accept alternate methods of payment. Please visit ShareIt.com or
their Customer Care Center for more information about the payment
process.

OLD: Translations are sent to you in .doc or .rtf format, which is
compatible with most word processing applications, like Microsoft
Word.
NEW: Translations will be sent to you in .doc or .rtf format. These
formats are compatible with most word processing applications
including Microsoft Word.

OLD: If you have Microsoft Word, just use the Count words command in
the Tools menu to know the number of words in your project. Divide
that number by 250, and multiply it by the respective rate.
NEW: If you have Microsoft Word, click on the 'Count Words' command in
the Tools menu and you will be shown the number of words in your file.
Once you know the number of words, divide it by 250 and multiply by
the respective rate.

OLD: For a general approximation, a double spaced text page and most
web pages contain 250 words in average. However, please note that we
charge you for the exact number of words in your project, so that you
never pay more no matter the format.
NEW: As a general rule, a double spaced text page and most web pages
contain 250 words. Please note however, that we charge you for the
exact number of words in your project. This ensures that you pay the
same rate no matter what the format of your document is.

OLD: Full guaranty
NEW: Full Guarantee

OLD: There's an unconditional money back guaranty for the last
fragment paid and approved. There's also a life time guaranty on the
whole project for a free revision and correction if a mistake is ever
found.
NEW: We offer an unconditional money back guarantee for the last
fragment that you have paid for. There Is also a life time guarantee
on the whole project for a free revision and correction if a mistake
is ever found.

OLD: There's a whole range of services available for your web site,
ranging from locating the best Spanish keywords for your product or
service, or making a supply and demand study, passing through
marketing experiments to improve your sales copy, and design and
architecture quality assurance, to the most advanced search engine
optimization techniques. Just about everything you need to boost your
sales in the net.
NEW: 
There is a whole range of services available for your website, ranging
from locating the best Spanish keywords for your product/service to
the most advanced search engine optimization techniques. We also do
supply and demand studies and architecture quality assurance. Just
about everything you need to boost your sales on the net!

Also note that the headings after this heading: "Why Latin-American
Spanish instead of European Spanish?" are no longer capitalized and
this should be changed as well:
OLD: How to begin your translation project
NEW: How to Begin Your Translation Project:

OLD: How to calculate the cost of your project
NEW: How to Calculate the Cost of Your Project:

OLD: Full guaranty
NEW: Full Guarantee

Let me know if you need any clarifications regarding this answer.

tisme-ga

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Request for Answer Clarification by wz-ga on 16 Feb 2003 09:19 PST

Very good, thanks! Please don't forget the second part of the
question. Include your general opinion about the service/web page. Do
you think the web page will be ready for the public after your
changes, or what do we need to change/add? You only have to mention
what you don't like in general, or what you think might be missing if
you were a buyer.

---

Clarification of Answer by tisme-ga on 16 Feb 2003 10:07 PST

Hello wz,

I do think that the general public would be ready for your service
after correcting the page. The only thing I can think of would be to
offer some samples of past translations so people can get a better
idea of what the end result will look like. (Or get these up as soon
as you have some satisfied customers).

Another feature that I think would be great would be a textbox that
counts the number of words in the document. People who do not have
Microsoft Word will not really know how many words there are in their
project and what the approximate cost would be. Perhaps you could find
another place on the internet that counts the number of word in a
textbox?

I wish you the best of luck!

tisme-ga

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Request for Answer Clarification by wz-ga on 16 Feb 2003 10:34 PST

Excellent, thanks!

I seem to have found two mistakes in your changes:
"The difference between European Spanish and Latin-American
Spanish is probably no greater than *_* British and American English"
This phrase is similar to one found here:
http://www.kcl.ac.uk/kis/schools/hums/spanish/spanishlanguage.htm
which says "than between British and American English"

"There *Is* also a life time guarantee
on the whole project for a free revision and correction if a mistake
is ever found."

Check your new versions again for mistakes, and I'll give you five
stars, and a small tip. I trust you didn't miss anything in the web
page, of course.

---

Clarification of Answer by tisme-ga on 16 Feb 2003 11:40 PST

NEW: The difference between European Spanish and Latin-American
Spanish is probably no greater than British and American English, so
there are no fundamental problems of understanding. For example,
millions of Spaniards watch Latin-American soap operas without any
trouble.

I changed this because I did not think the word 'between' was actually
necessary. I guess it is a matter of style and it is up to you whether
or not you want to include the word.

As for "There Is also a life time guarantee on the whole project for a
free revision and correction if a mistake is ever found."
You are correct that it should be "There is also a life time..."

tisme-ga

Very quick answer and clarifications, (and it was a Sunday!).