I have this Yorkshire Terrier aged 12, called Daisy and her manners
are appalling.

For example, she makes disgusting noises when eating her meals and she
never puts a paw in front of her mouth when she yawns.

I have tried sitting her down for a heart-to-heart but without effect.
Also, she has seen all the Lassie films, so she should know what is
expected.

Moreover, I can assure Researchers that my own manners are impeccable.

So, I told Daisy this morning that I would seek expert advice from
Pinky, Missy, JumpingJoe, txh1138, ace and the rest, to find a
solution.

Anything goes: brain transplants, hypnotism, brain washing, extra RAM,
Pavlovian experiments ...

Over to you!

Hello Bryan!

Daisy.  What a charming name!  And I'd be willing to bet that Miss
Daisy is just as charming as her name, and perhaps you're not giving
her enough credit?  She *is* a dog, after all, not a cat (who are
known for their exquisite manners!).

Dogs, as a general rule, are rather noisy eaters.  This isn't so much
bad manners on their part as the fact that they haven't the ability to
close their mouths while they chew.  Their lips aren't as flexible as
ours, and neither is their jaw.  It's hinged such that they get good
up and down action, but their side to side (grinding) action is rather
limited.  I think we can agree that Daisy can't help this much, and
we'll just do the polite and mannerly thing and pretend we don't hear
it, OK?

(Isn't it Miss Manners who says that it isn't polite to point out a
lady's shortcomings?  Or was that Neil Gaiman?)

You *can* teach her to put her paw in front of her mouth when she
yawns, but it will take some careful attention on your part.  The
trick to getting her to do this is positive reinforcement!

Watch her carefully.  Every time she starts to yawn, catch her paw in
yours...i mean, in your hand, and hold it in front of her mouth.  Tell
her "Cover!" (in a firm, even tone of voice) each and every time you
do this, and be certain to reward her every time.  Dogs usually prefer
food rewards, so give her a doggie biscuit, a morsel of meat, a bit of
cheese - whatever it is that you give her when she's been extra good -
every time you practice this command with her.

After a week or two, instead of manually assisting her, every time you
catch her yawning, say "Cover!".  If she executes the command, reward
her with a treat and lavish praise.  If she *doesn't* execute the
command, practice it with her, then reward her with a treat.  (Dogs
need repetition and rewards to get A Clue.)

If you're consistent with the practice, praise and rewards, Daisy will
eventually execute this "trick" without prompting from you.  She will,
of course, expect a treat, so be certain to stay well stocked with her
favorite reward!

For more ways to teach your old dog new tricks, try some of these
nifty websites:

The Dog Obedience Training Page
http://www.dogpatch.org/obed/

Dog Training
http://www.hut.fi/~mtt/training.html

Dog Tricks
http://pub10.bravenet.com/search2/search.php

How to teach a dog tricks
http://ak.essortment.com/howtoteachdo_rkhs.htm

(When I was a kid, I had a dog who liked to "break dance".  If you
told her "Bonnie!  Break dance!", she'd lie on her side and push
herself around the floor in a circle with her hind legs.  It was
hilarious!  Her favorite reward?  Apple slices.)

I hope this helps you along with teaching Daisy to be a little more
ladylike.  If you need more information, just ask for clarification,
and I'll be quite happy to help!

--Missy

Search terms: [ teach dog tricks ]

Hi, Missy & Pinky

Thank you both for your answer & comments.

You both get better and better.

How do you do it?

I would love to offer some advice, but I have three lovably rude dogs
who seem to be oblivious to the concept of "manners." Apparently dogs
do not come from the factory with manners installed, and I have not
yet determined where to purchase the manners module. Perhaps I will
try that wonderful doggie auction site, FleaBay. ;-)

Thank you, Bryan!  You're very sweet!

--M

Ditto what Missy said.

How do we do it? It's a symbiotic process: good customers help to make
good researchers.

~Pink

May I suggest you sell the dogs to an experimental lab and purchase one of these.  
Entertainment Robot AIBO
Regards.  Kemlo

Sorry probonopublico  I forgot the link  
http://www.aibo.com/

Hi, Kemlo

Good thinking!

Thanks for the link.

Kindest regards

Bryan

Hi Bryan
  With the money left over from the purchace of the Aibo you could try
a book by Jan Fennell called the Practical Dog Listener, or how to
become the Alfa-wolf in your pack.
  I have found much of the advice given very useful when teaching at
Sunday School
Regards Simon

YET ANOTHER CLUMSY TYPO MY STUPID BRAIN MISSED, I MEANT OF CORSE ALPHA-WOLF

Of corse, Kemlo. Of corse, I knew what you meant.

Am I psychic?