I have a 2002 Volkswagen Jetta, which didn't come with a cigarette
lighter.  Instead, there is a flap over the hole that is spring-loaded
to close and is labeled "Power Outlet".  The push-in lighter is
purchased seperately, and I recently bought it.  It works and
everything, but the little flap is still there and it only half-closes
now, looks tacky, and blocks the door that closes the compartment the
ashtry and lighter are housed in.  I assumed that, having been told
repetedly that the cover comes off, and considering the lighter has
long been listed officially by VW as an accessory, and the fact that
it is purchasable at the parts store (it cost $20.00 US!), I would be
able to remove the flap without any problem.  Well, I couldn't, and
neither could anyone at the local dealership.

The answer I seek: a step-by-step way to remove this cover without
breaking it off, preferably by following some official method I'm
unaware of.

As you can probably tell, I'm somewhat of a perfectionist! : )

Not having worked on that particular model,  
but am assuming that most switches of that type have 2 to 4 prongs
coming out from the body of the outlet that secures it in the hole
your aim is to push these lugs in to release it.
 Is there any rear access to push them in/ a very thin scraper or
knife inserted where the lugs are from the front be carefull.
 Get a car manuale or phone your locale vw dealer and ask how they are
secured.
Best of luck