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Q: Final To Do List - For Sublime1 ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   1 Comment )
Question  
Subject: Final To Do List - For Sublime1
Category: Family and Home
Asked by: steph53-ga
List Price: $5.00
Posted: 28 Mar 2003 20:21 PST
Expires: 27 Apr 2003 21:21 PDT
Question ID: 182657
This is, I guess, a follow up to my previous post " what do do with my
cat " (serious typo )
Now however, as the time has definately run out, I need some last
minute help with my little furball.
I have tried to disentangle myself from him a bit over the last few
days...but to no avail... Seems that since the suitcase came out,
there is a smaller war going on here. The cat sure knows something is
up & though I pretend all is well, I know he is already fretting.
I have bought all his food ,toys, dishes and anything else I could
think of, but at this last hour I am feeling sad & guilty for
leaving... Dumb as this may sound, but this little cat has been a
lifeline to me & now I am feeling bad for sprouting my wings while he
is left behind.
Although you have said our feline owners know what/when we think, I
need an answer as to what to say & do to my furry baby as I walk out
that door. Do I clutch him and hug him or should I just walk out that
door ignoring him and without any display of emotions?
Answer  
Subject: Re: Final To Do List - For Sublime1
Answered By: sublime1-ga on 29 Mar 2003 10:20 PST
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
 
steph53...

I'm afraid there's no magical cure here. As Missy-ga has noted,
this is really about doing what makes you feel better in the 
process of departing.

Your kitty is an individual, and like all of us, is responsible
for his own reactions. It sounds like you've already done all
that you can by way of comforting him, and now it is up to him
as to how he will respond. 


Marty Meyer is a respected animal communicator who "has a
degree in Marine Biology from the University of Miami, and
has 14 years of experience working as a marine biologist."  

"An animal lover all of her life, Marty Meyer became fascinated
 with animal communication in 1991.  To further develop her
 natural ability, she attended classes and seminars by several
 animal communicators, including Jeri Ryan, Carole Gurney and
 Penelope Smith.  After several years of study and practice,
 she began consulting professionally in 1996, and offers both
 private consultations and workshops.  Her work has been
 recognized, and she has been interviewed on the television
 programs 'Out of the Blue' and 'Animal Planet'."
http://www.talktoanimals.com/html/about_marty.html

On the 'stories' page at her site, Marty talks about the free
will of animals:

"Even though we can communicate with animals, they still have
 free will and often choose to follow their own instincts and
 desires instead of our directives."

and

"...it is important to keep in mind that animals have free will
 just as people do, and communication is not about control. For
 example, we can tell a person to stop a behavior that we don't
 like, such as cigarette smoking, and they will probably
 continue to smoke anyway. If we explain to them that smoking
 is unhealthy and we would like them to stop because we care
 about them very much, we may have better luck in getting them
 to do as we wish. But ultimately only they can decide whether
 they will...or can...change their behavior."
http://www.talktoanimals.com/html/stories.html


As to effective communication, it might be helpful to remind
you that animals are primarily receptive to clear visual images,
accompanied by feelings. Actually, all of us respond best to 
this, as this is the pre-verbal language of our beings, as
evidenced by our nightly dreams.

Given this, it might also be useful to suggest that you communicate
the feelings you want him to have rather than your own fears and
anxieties about leaving him. In other words, even if you are feeling
horrible, sad and anxious at the prospect of leaving him alone,
these are NOT the feelings you want him to have. Rather, you want
him to feel safe and secure, and confident that he can handle the
time alone with no problems - that it will fly by before he knows
it, and that there are things he can explore in his time alone, so
it is actually an opportunity for growth, as it were.

As in all communications, but especially with children and animals,
it is thus best to become the change you would instill in them.

It does no good to loudly and angrily yell "be quiet" to a child,
for instance. Rather, it is more useful to model the quietness and
calmness that you wish them to display.

So, if it was my kitty, I would spend time, prior to, and at the
moment of departure, holding in mind images of a larger world,
through which I, as a larger being than a cat, must travel, and
which I will do with great confidence. I would hold images of 
my strong connection to 'our' home, and to my cat, with the 
feeling that I will remember them, cherish them, and return to
them safely when my trip is over. I would hold the animal and
convey such images and feelings of security and confidence until
I felt that they were calm and accepting of them.

And, perhaps most importantly, if I had any personal misgivings
or anxiety in relation to the impending trip, I would deal with
them and eliminate them, so that they are simply unavailable to
be felt by my pet.

In a sense, your pet is a living symbol, in the dream you are
living, of your own subconcious feelings. If your cat is feeling
afraid and anxious about your departure, the best thing you can
do is make sure that you are not the source of those feelings,
which he is then mirroring back to you.

Your cat can only be as happy and confident as you are in regards
to something which he has never experienced - he can only get his
cues for how to feel about it from you.


Please do not rate this answer until you are satisfied that
the answer cannot be improved upon by means of a dialog
established through the "Request for Clarification" process.

sublime1-ga


Searches done, via Google:

"saying goodbye to my cat"
://www.google.com/search?q=%22saying+goodbye+to+my+cat%22

pet psychic
://www.google.com/search?q=pet+psychic
steph53-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars
Thank you...sublime1 
I will put your thoughtful ideas to work immediately. Especially about
ridding myself of misgivings and anxiety. It had never occurred to me
that perhaps my kitty could sense that.

Comments  
Subject: Re: Final To Do List - For Sublime1
From: missy-ga on 28 Mar 2003 21:23 PST
 
I kiss my kitties goodbye and tell them to mind the house.  It's been
the standard "going away for a while" ritual since the eldest was just
a kitten.  I don't know how they feel about it (probably think I'm an
idiot - poor brainless human!), but it makes me feel better about
going away.

--Missy

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