steph53...
I'm afraid there's no magical cure here. As Missy-ga has noted,
this is really about doing what makes you feel better in the
process of departing.
Your kitty is an individual, and like all of us, is responsible
for his own reactions. It sounds like you've already done all
that you can by way of comforting him, and now it is up to him
as to how he will respond.
Marty Meyer is a respected animal communicator who "has a
degree in Marine Biology from the University of Miami, and
has 14 years of experience working as a marine biologist."
"An animal lover all of her life, Marty Meyer became fascinated
with animal communication in 1991. To further develop her
natural ability, she attended classes and seminars by several
animal communicators, including Jeri Ryan, Carole Gurney and
Penelope Smith. After several years of study and practice,
she began consulting professionally in 1996, and offers both
private consultations and workshops. Her work has been
recognized, and she has been interviewed on the television
programs 'Out of the Blue' and 'Animal Planet'."
http://www.talktoanimals.com/html/about_marty.html
On the 'stories' page at her site, Marty talks about the free
will of animals:
"Even though we can communicate with animals, they still have
free will and often choose to follow their own instincts and
desires instead of our directives."
and
"...it is important to keep in mind that animals have free will
just as people do, and communication is not about control. For
example, we can tell a person to stop a behavior that we don't
like, such as cigarette smoking, and they will probably
continue to smoke anyway. If we explain to them that smoking
is unhealthy and we would like them to stop because we care
about them very much, we may have better luck in getting them
to do as we wish. But ultimately only they can decide whether
they will...or can...change their behavior."
http://www.talktoanimals.com/html/stories.html
As to effective communication, it might be helpful to remind
you that animals are primarily receptive to clear visual images,
accompanied by feelings. Actually, all of us respond best to
this, as this is the pre-verbal language of our beings, as
evidenced by our nightly dreams.
Given this, it might also be useful to suggest that you communicate
the feelings you want him to have rather than your own fears and
anxieties about leaving him. In other words, even if you are feeling
horrible, sad and anxious at the prospect of leaving him alone,
these are NOT the feelings you want him to have. Rather, you want
him to feel safe and secure, and confident that he can handle the
time alone with no problems - that it will fly by before he knows
it, and that there are things he can explore in his time alone, so
it is actually an opportunity for growth, as it were.
As in all communications, but especially with children and animals,
it is thus best to become the change you would instill in them.
It does no good to loudly and angrily yell "be quiet" to a child,
for instance. Rather, it is more useful to model the quietness and
calmness that you wish them to display.
So, if it was my kitty, I would spend time, prior to, and at the
moment of departure, holding in mind images of a larger world,
through which I, as a larger being than a cat, must travel, and
which I will do with great confidence. I would hold images of
my strong connection to 'our' home, and to my cat, with the
feeling that I will remember them, cherish them, and return to
them safely when my trip is over. I would hold the animal and
convey such images and feelings of security and confidence until
I felt that they were calm and accepting of them.
And, perhaps most importantly, if I had any personal misgivings
or anxiety in relation to the impending trip, I would deal with
them and eliminate them, so that they are simply unavailable to
be felt by my pet.
In a sense, your pet is a living symbol, in the dream you are
living, of your own subconcious feelings. If your cat is feeling
afraid and anxious about your departure, the best thing you can
do is make sure that you are not the source of those feelings,
which he is then mirroring back to you.
Your cat can only be as happy and confident as you are in regards
to something which he has never experienced - he can only get his
cues for how to feel about it from you.
Please do not rate this answer until you are satisfied that
the answer cannot be improved upon by means of a dialog
established through the "Request for Clarification" process.
sublime1-ga
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