Hi, Journalist

Next week I am playing the part of a journalist in a radio drama but,
being a non-smoker and only a modest consumer of alcohol, this is
decidedly not type casting.

"Will I be out of my depth?" I ask myself.

"Most decidedly", I reply.

Naturally, I recognise that you ride your horse side-saddle whereas I
don't but, neverthess, I am sure that you can impart some valuable
tips.

Please help me now in my career as an actor and, when I write my
autobiography, I can attribute my success to you.

---

Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 05 Apr 2003 21:58 PST

"neverthess"????

Just practising for the part.

The spelling in some of these qestions is something awfull, personaly
I blame the grandparents. And why not?

Hi, Simon (Kemlo)

Grandparents certainly have a lot to answer for.

I've been rooting out mine recently and I was traumatised by the
discovery that my Dad's Mother & Father had married only 6 months
before. So, obviously, some hanky panky used to go on in ye olden
days. (You can't image your grandparents even knowing about such
things.)

As for my Mother, I have discovered that the woman she called Mum
(whom she knew as the former Annie Turner) wasn't. It was a certain
Milly Jubb from Thorne.

With both my parents now departed, I shall never know whether or not
they knew.

If not, the shock might have killed them.

And now, dear Simon, I have recently discovered that you are actually
George Elliot (or is it Elliott?), a writer of some repute. I hope
that I have no other shocking discoveries to make as I dig deeper into
your pedigree.

KR
Bryan

Hi honey, just thought I'd impart a few pearls of perspective given
that I've had the *good* fortune to associate with male journos for
several years. First of all, you need high cholesterol. It doesn't
matter how much weight you're carrying but, skinny or t'otherwise, no
self respecting journo will travel without a cholesterol level of at
least 10, and a DVT if you can possibly manage one. You also need body
odour and at least two ex-wives. Undiagnosed type 2 diabetes is a
definite asset as is a greying, once white, unironed shirt with a
Homer Simpson- or old high school tie. Levi jeans, must be 501s,
button fly, boot cut with some cuban heel RM Williams dark brown boots
worn with a jacket, preferably old leather aviator type but could be
tweed, cashmere, or parasilk. The fingers (complete with bitten
fingernails gnawed back to the quick) must be run through the long,
loose hair at every opportunity and an overall air of superiority must
pervade (yes, above the BO) whilst avoiding paying your share of the
bill. Above all, you must have a perpetually raised eyebrow and a
sardonic snigger to accompany such statements as, "I don't *need* a
tape recorder -- they're for amateurs." or "Yes, I do have sugar in my
coffee."

I know Journalist will provide you with some great advice. Here's my 2
cents:

I think you've been watching THE FRONT PAGE/HIS GIRL FRIDAY! The era
of gin and cigs seems to have ended. During the '90s, I worked at a
newspaper with a staff of about 20 -- 25 reporters and editors. A
total of three were smokers. No one there appeared to be a booze
hound.(Most of them, when they weren't working, were at home with
their spouses and kids.)

stressedmum is right about high cholesterol. The thing is, when you
have to run from, say, covering a press conference to a 6-alarm fire,
write up those stories, and then end your day with a town council
meeting that runs until  10:00 p.m., you don't exactly have the option
of eating healthy. I personally lived on Coca-Cola (Diet Coke when I
made the occasional Bridget Jones-like commitment to healthy living),
vending machine crackers, and M&M's.

Yeah, many reporters are jaded and cynical. That's because journalists
seek truth, but often hit barriers of resistance with sources, such as
misleading torrents of verbiage. Many sources will distort facts in
their zeal to push their own agenda; that's why reporters must be
probing & challenging when subjects offer specious, self-serving
assertions. Happily, most reporters are really very civil, as *most*
sources/subjects are civil, courteous, and frank.

Most reporters are very like David Bloom, who we lost today: maybe not
as brave as he was, but dedicated to journalism as public service,
curious, enthusiastic, objective, and, when warranted, deeply
empathetic.

Break a leg (as they say in show biz circles)!

Regards,
nancylynn-ga

Hi, Honey #1 (Stressed Mum) & Honey #2 (Nancy)

Many thanks for your comments.

As it's radio drama, I think the odours and the costume might be lost
on the audience (if any).

I have known some journalists ... and one good friend of mine, called
Tom, used to be the Show Biz correspondent for one of the big UK
dailies. He was a non-stop smoker and a hardened drinker. One night
after spending a Saturday evening with me, he started to leave
uncharacteristically early with the marvellous line 'I've got to
interview Gene Kelly tomorrow'.

'Wow', said I, 'You don't want any help, do you?'

So, Tom invited me along (Gene Kelly was compering the Royal Command
Performance that year) and I duly met the man himself. I was amazed
though by how tiny he was and with such dainty feet.

To my disappointment, he never asked me to dance even though he had
previously danced with Fred Astaire, Donald O'Connor, and the Nicholas
Brothers.

KR
Bryan

Well, this isn't exactly Gene Kelly, but it's a hoot. I once decided
to become an actress and, with my eight month daughter on my hip, got
to dress up in denim overalls and be harried inmates for a day in,
wait for it, Prisoner! Sheila Florence, who played Lizzie Birdsworth
(you *do* know Lizzie, don't you?), was admiring my beautiful
dimple-cheeked baby daughter but suddenly looked at me very sternly
and, inhaling deeply on a cigarette and with a glass of Guinness in
her hand, pointed at me and said in an exaggeratedly cultured accent,
"Don't put your kids in showbusiness, Mum," and swallowing a big swig
of Guinness, finished with, "it'sh a roolly bad influence on 'em!"

I took her advice ... but look out for the bomb episode ;)

Hi probonopublico-ga:
 
What a funny coincidence that you mentioned Gene Kelly! I once
interviewed residents of a small Pennsylvania town (where Kelly had
relatives) who still had vivid memories of Gene Kelly dancing on
roller skates across the stage of the town theater. (He gave the
performance as a favor to the town's dancing teacher, who studied with
Kelly at his Johnstown studio.)

Several years later, many of those same people were sitting in that
same theater, when they saw that same young man who had danced on
roller skates for them a few years earlier, flicker across the screen
while serenading Judy Garland in FOR ME AND MY GAL.

Oh, you're playing a Fleet Street type of reporter?! Oh, well then,
yeah, you should *actually* be drunk during the performance. Try to
give the audience a sense that you reek of gin, tobacco, and regret.

(Hey,I'm kind of sorry I missed out on that whole scene myself. Ya
know: too many martinis, chasing cop cars, hiding in celebs' shrubbery
with a camera, and falling for every guy --or doll, depending on one's
preference -- who looked like trouble.)

Ta,
nancylynn-ga

Hi, Again, my Two Honeys!

Many thanks for sharing your experiences with me.

Sorry, Honey #1, but I don't watch much television.

Not being a very good actor, I'm also having problems with simulating
a high cholestrol count, particularly as there are two different
scales: (1) the Good Old US of A and (2) the Real World ... and I just
don't know where youse two little honeys are located ...

I'm guessing Tokyo but, of course, I may be wrong (as usual).

Following your advice, I am thinking that maybe I will be unable to do
justice to the part and I am now thinking of going sick.

Perhaps if I could act as though I had a high cholesterol count, that
might do the trick?

KR
Bryan

You may attain a high cholesterol count easily by gulping down a few
greasy burgers per day at your nearest fast food joint. (One of the
many great cultural gifts my homeland, the good old US of A, began
inflicting upon, uh, I mean giving to, the the Real World right after
we kicked out the Nazis.)

Between that, and imbibing far too many pints at the local, you're
going to give a marvelous performance. Be sure to post a site where we
can access a sound file of the show!

nancylynn-ga

"If no news, send rumors"
          =======================

Journalistic Skills

    "The only qualities essential for real success in journalism are
ratlike cunning, a plausible manner, and a little literary ability.
The capacity to steal other people's ideas and phrases — that one
about ratlike cunning was invented by my colleague Murray Sayre — is
also invaluable."
     —  Nicholas Tomalin, London, Sunday Times writer.


[ What Journalists Dream of ]

    Media scholar William L. Rivers once asked Washington
correspondents what leads they would most like to write. The responses
included:


Richard Valeriani, NBC Reporter: "I have just returned from death, and
I can report to you that…"

Les Whitten, former assistant to Jack Anderson: "Jesus Christ, whose
second coming has been promised for almost two thousand years, landed
at Washington National Airport secretly today and confided his plans
exclusively to this reporter."


           The above comes from an article about a book, 
        "If no news, send rumors" by Stephen Bates
                                       at:
http://www.nepalnews.com.np/contents/englishweekly/telegraph/2002/sep/sep25/impression.htm


[ He also gets a reference from the Nepal News, below: 
    http://www.nepalnews.com.np/contents/englishweekly/telegraph/2000/nov/nov29/impression.htm]
 ]



                    *    *    *    *    *    *    *        

[  The one journalist who fascinated me for quite a while was one Toby
Young, son of the also-famous Michael (who coined the term,
meritocracy).  Toby Y. seems to exemplify the opposite of "ratlike
cunning" and "a plausible manner".
   Here is some stuff from his website: ]


How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
=======================================
By Toby Young

The appeal of journalist Young's memoir is his willingness to skewer
himself as savagely as he does his acquaintances and colleagues. The
self-portrait is rarely flattering and sometimes repellent, but
carries a startling ring of truth. Young targets Manhattan's
superficial social-scene and gives a slashing insider's view of Vanity
Fair and its parent company, Condé Nast. Consumed with the desire to
be "somebody", Young is hired by editor Graydon Carter and unwittingly
offends everyone he seeks to impress. He learns that journalists must
have "a plausible manner, rat-like cunning and a little literary
ability," and he encounters a caste system so rigid that if an
important editor trips and falls, etiquette dictates to leave her on
the floor and walk on, rather than offer assistance or directly
address her. Young's descriptions of his efforts to crash Oscar
parties is an appallingly accurate picture of wannabes whose identity
depends on the celebrities they cultivate. He's amusingly perceptive
in his analyses of women whose motive for marrying prominent men is to
impress other women; this jealousy is brilliantly summed up by Gore
Vidal's comment, "Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little."

      British-born Young, who has also been fired from the Times of
London and the Guardian, paints Carter as a fascinatingly complex
individual, capable of devastating employees or helping them face dire
health problems. He also includes intriguing profiles of power couple
Tina Brown and Harry Evans, and Sex and The City creator Candace
Bushnell. What keeps readers on Young's side is his courage to keep
fighting, even when confronted by publicist Peggy Siegal's withering
line, "I have no respect for writers. They never make money. They're
like poor people looking in the windows."

http://www.tobyyoung.co.uk/pubweek.htm



Search term: "ratlike cunning". 
Also took up Google's suggestion for "rat-like cunning"

intotravel-ga has nailed it: "The one journalist who fascinated me for
quite a while was one Toby Young . . . Toby Y. seems to exemplify the
opposite of "ratlike cunning" and "a plausible manner".
 
I read Young's hysterically funny book "How to Lose Friends and
Alienate People." If you want to know what it's *really* like to be an
entertainment journalist -- and have some good laughs -- read it! But
Young did have to use rat-like cunning in order to corner the rats his
magazine wanted to cover.

One thing that amazed me about Young and his book is that there are
Brits who are fixated-to-the-point-of-slobbering on celebs and
celebrity culture. I'm an Anglophile who tends to think of all Brits
like the characters in "Mrs. Miniver": inherently brave and
unflappable; just very noble, with a high sense of civic duty. (And
I'm sure most Brits do indeed fit that bill.) I read the London Times
and Telegraph, and often forget about the city's less respected
dailies. (Not that we don't have tabloids on this side of the pond.)

Nancy Lynn!

What a surprise!

I posted a question on the Goldwyn Girls (173425) and, ever since, I
have been trying to track down the lovely Nancy Lynn ...

And now you've appeared, as if by magic.

Isn't it a small world?

KR
Bryan

Reporters searching for the truth?

First off probonopulico you are going to have to get rid of all your
great punctuation.

As for acting on the radio, portraying a reporter, I personally think
most will believe what you make of it. And the real reporters wouldn't
be caught dead listening to a radio play, except for radio critic's
which neither you nor your friends reading this know of any.

Unless it is a new career venture that you will do over and over and
over, just have fun with. Maybe watch a few Mary Tyler Moore reruns.
Or check out what Jimmy Olson has to say.

Orson Welles did a great job of reporting didn't he?