Here are ten ways to sneak fabric into your house. Some work better
than others, but I have used them all successfully.
If you have any questions about the information I have provided, feel
free to request a clarification of my answer. Please be sure to give
me enough time to respond before you rate my answer.
Thanks so much, and best of luck to you!
1. Fill your laundry basket with assorted pieces of fabric, and carry
it in from the laundry room. Be sure to throw a used dryer sheets on
top to make it look convincing. And then yell really loudly, "Who
wants to help me fold clothes?" Everyone will hide long enough for you
to put away your stash.
2. (This one must be done in winter to pull it off) Find a large
bulky winter coat, preferably one that goes down to your knees or
lower. Make sure the pockets lead to the inside of the lining of the
coat. Carefully cut the bottom of the pocket out, that way when you
reach your hand into your pocket your hand will be in between the
lining and the outer material of the coat. Before coming into the
house, start stuffing material into your pocket, which will fall down
into the lining and will hopefully go unnoticed. This works well with
smaller pieces and fat quarters, but not larger pieces or bolts of
3. Randomly stuff pieces of fabric into your grocery bags before
carrying them into the house and then ask for help putting up the
groceries. Everyone will disappear, giving you time to hide your
4. Hide your fabric in the trunk of your car, and wait till everyone
has gone to bed before getting it out.
5. Designate a hiding spot, and arrange for your UPS, FEDEX or USPS
man to hide your fabric orders there. (I personally have them hide any
packages in our front bushes, and since they are in dire need of
trimming, no one will dare go near them for fear of being asked to
6. Take your sewing machine case out, and say your having your
machine serviced. (be sure to hide your machine!) Then you can fill
the case with your fabric and bring it back into the house and no will
be the wiser!
7. If your the type known for not procrastinating, take your fabric,
put it into a box, and wrap it up in wrapping paper. If someone asks
about it, tell them your just getting a head start on your Christmas
8. Wear baggy pants, and attach rolled up pieces of fabric to your
legs with ace bandages. Make sure you avoid the knee area, because if
you can't bend your legs, you might draw suspicion!
9. Tell everyone you got a membership to a gym. Use your gym bag to
smuggle fabric inside the house. This can also work for golf bags and
10. Purchase some old books from a second hand store. The bigger the
better, and make sure they are the hardback kind. Then proceed to
hollow them out. (Instructions on how to hollow out a book
http://www.angelfire.com/ks2/mortaldeath/hide.html) Once you have your
books done, you can take them to and from the house with the excuse
that your going to the library (or coming from the library). Each time
you "come from the library" your books will be stuffed with new
fabric. (If you plan on using this one allot, you may want to get some
book covers for them, that way people don't catch on to the fact that
your carting around the same books all the time!)
Some other amusing fabric related links you might enjoy:
11 REASONS FOR BUYING FABRIC
1. Fabric stored in closets on the outside walls provides insulation.
2. It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to
support cotton farmers, textile mills and quilt shops.
3. It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.
4. Because it is on sale.
5. A sudden increase in the boll weevil population might wipe out the
cotton crop for the next ten years.
6. Like dust, it's good for protecting previously empty spaces in the
house, like the ironing board, laundry hamper, or the dining room
7. It keeps without refrigeration, you don't have to cook it to enjoy
it, and you never have to feed it, change it, wipe its nose or walk
8. Buy it now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all
your shopping expeditions.
9. It's not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves,
gratifies the soul, and makes me feel good.
10. I need the extra weight in the car for traction on snowy, icy
11. Because I'm worth it!
Fabric Addicts Anonymous
You know your a garbaholic when...
Advice column post about fabric addiction
Confessions of quiltaholics
Five tips on hiding fabric
Funny story of a fabric junkies pledge
Fabriholics Defined and Defended