I am looking for mailing list program for my domain modelmailing.com.
The list program should allow individual mailing list for each model.
each mailing list should follow these subsequent rules

Basically i want the form to take all of the signup information.
Name
address
city
state
country
Email address
custom1
custom2
custom3

I want to be able to use that info in the mailing, both by limiting
the people who get sent message and to personalize the message and
welcome message.

For example i want a model like crissy moran
to be able to say

Hi %%%NAME%%%

Just wanted to tell you that i will be at the your home town toronto
on may 16, 2003 signing autographs at the CNE.  Come by and say hi if
you have time.

I want that message to only be sent to those people in toronto.

As well i want the welcome message after they successfully signup to
use these values.  Thank you %%NAME%%% I will notify you of news about
myself and events were i will be present in your neighbourhood.
%%%List Owners%%%


I want the problem to be open source perferablely BSD licienced.

what is the program that most closely fits my needs

There are mailing list software that can do what you want
unfortunately they are not free.

ListServe by lsoft (www.lsoft.com) will allow you do everything you
want but the pricing starts at $500/server. lsoft does include a free
version on their website, but does not have any feature description.
So it is possible that the free version will do everything you need,
but I can't vouch for it.

Majordomo is a popular opensource alternative, but you'll have to hack
and slash through the perl code to add all the features you want.

Here's a program that might work for you: mojomail
(http://mojo.skazat.com/). It's really easy to install, and has a very
well developed plugin system, which could probably support what you're
trying to do.

Best of all, it's free/open source, and relatively easy to install.
It's also highly reccomended.  The users at ResourceIndex.com gave it
a 9.67/10.