over the years, I've developed a very stupid habit of talking before I
think.  this has really been negatively effecting my relationship with
my girlfriend.  I want a list (longer the better) of creative or
proven methods to break this bad habit.  Some creative ones might not
be proven, so include those...but some proven ones might be all that
creative, so be sure to include them too.  Anything you feel would be
helpful, include it to.  I'd preferably like atleast 10 items.  Thanks
for your help and ANY comments would be MORE THAN WELCOME!

xemion-ga

p.s. please help a fellow researcher in need :-)

---

Clarification of Question by xemion-ga on 12 Jul 2003 20:52 PDT

Thanks, Pink.  I appreciate it.  Very similar to WWJD (which I think
would be more appropriate for me).

However, I think my needs are slightly different:

My problem is not one of merely saying something in anger, but in
saying something that contradicts what I previously said or disagree. 
When I'm angry, I actually have pretty good control...it's the rest of
the time I just say the first thing that pops in my mind.  I need to
think through my thoughts more.

Secondly, it's easy to answer the "what would jackie do?" question
once I ask myself it...I think I need help more along the lines of
what will force myself to that question in the first place.  String on
the finger type concept.

Thanks pink, your story has been an encouragement to me.

xemion-ga

I used to have a really serious mouth. It got me into a lot of
trouble. When I was in college in the 1960s, I used a simple technique
to try to curb my tongue. Before saying something when I was in an
emotionally charged state, I would briefly ask myself, "Would Jackie
Kennedy say this?" (Jackie was, at that time, my heroine and role
model.) Most of the time, upon reflection, it was obvious that Jackie
would NOT say what I had in mind, and much of the time, I heeded this
and didn't let my mouth go on autopilot. Eventually my politics
changed, but by that time, I had gotten into the habit of examining my
words before they emerged from my mouth, and I've been fairly careful
about such things ever since.

What some people I knew who uncontrollably curse did was just stop
talking altogether (with exception of the few necessary phrases to
live their lives)... from anywhere from 3 weeks to 2 months.  This
worked quite well for them.

Good idea, tox.  Perhaps I shall try that.  I'd really like a long
list though...any answers?

Xemion, this may sound really basic and dumb but...

Just do it.

All the time.

It doesn't matter who you're talking to, where you are or what you're
doing at that moment, just stop and think before you open your mouth.

Your problem isn't getting rid of a habit, it's creating a new one.

Best of luck to you.

Poe

What you have is commonly referred to as "Foot In Mouth Disease". Men
tend to suffer greatly from this particularly in their youth before it
goes into remission. Unfortunatly they often suffer a most severe
relapse as they become senior citizens. Women rarely contract it and
thos suffering from it are usually born with it...and sadly is no
known cure for them.

You can do a little self-help and search google for it.

Regards;
tutuzdad-ga

Having something else in your mouth might slow down your rapid
response.  Unfortunately, using these other objects can also become
bad habits.

A Pipe (but don't smoke it)
http://www1.physik.tu-muenchen.de/~gammel/matpack/html/images/Physicists/t_Einstein-Portrait-Pipe.jpg

A Tootsie Pop
http://www.timvp.com/kojak4.jpg
http://www.timvp.com/771231.jpg

Dear xemion-ga,

I had the same problem myself, until I realized that I if I did not
stop this pernicious habit, I would get nowhere in my life and in my
relationships with others.

Aside from this "paradigm shift," as it were, one thing that motivated
me to think first before I talk was a desire to become excellent in
whatever I do. Also, remembering the big arguments and the
embarrassing situations caused by the dreaded "foot in mouth" disease
impelled me to change a.s.a.p!

Good luck and best regards,

JOHNNYBRAVO2003