Well ... you DID offer ....

I've plowed through my hodgepodge of recipes and plucked out some that
I think you'll like. On the assumption that you know all about
European cooking, I've selected some dishes that are typical of the
southern United States. Here in the south we fry almost everything
(often in bacon grease), but I didn't want to go clogging your
arteries, so I've chosen some recipes that are reasonably healthful.
Here's an appetizer ("Punkin Soup"), a main dish ("Creamy Herbed
Catfish"), and a dessert (Chocolate Butterscotch Pie). It's not haute
cuisine, but it is some mighty fine eatin'. Enjoy!

======================================================================

This may sound icky, but it's wonderful. I don't normally like pumpkin
very much, but it does make a lovely, zesty soup. Pretty color, too.

PUNKIN SOUP 

1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced 
1/2 teaspoon curry powder 
1/2 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper
1 teaspoon salt 
1 teaspoon ground coriander 
1/2 teaspoon ground sage
2 cups chicken stock
1 cup dry white wine 
16 ounce can of pumpkin (or 2 cups of cubed, cooked pumpkin) 
1 cup sour cream (lowfat or nonfat sour cream works fine)
2 tablespoons finely chopped chives

In a large saucepan, fry the onion and garlic in butter until soft.
Add the curry powder, salt, pepper and coriander. Add chicken stock
and white wine. Simmer uncovered for about 30 minutes, stirring
occasionally. Stir in the pumpkin. Simmer for another 10 minutes. Let
cool slightly, then pour into blender. Cover and blend until you have
a smooth puree. Add sour cream and chives. Stir very well and reheat.

======================================================================

I'm told that in many parts of the United States, folks refuse to eat
catfish, on the grounds that it's a "scavenger fish" that eats weird
stuff on the bottom of the river. Well, heck. I don't care what it
eats. I care what it tastes like. The following recipe will work with
just about any kind of fish, but I love catfish, and that's what I'm
recommending.

CREAMY HERBED CATFISH

1 small catfish, weighing approximately 1 pound
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons white flour
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1/2 teasopoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 cup finely chopped green onions
1/2 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper
 
Preheat oven to 350°F. Place fish in a baking dish. Dot with butter.
In a small saucepan, mix milk and flour, and cook over low heat,
stirring constantly until sauce thickens and is bubbly. Continue
cooking and stirring, and add celery salt, garlic salt, rosemary,
thyme, and green onion. Pour the mixture over the fish, sprinkle with
the ground pepper, and bake uncovered for 20 to 25 minutes.

======================================================================

This dessert is simple and inexpensive, and it tastes absolutely
heavenly. If you serve this to guests, it will go a long way, since
each small slice is very rich and filling.

CHOCOLATE BUTTERSCOTCH PIE

1 cup light brown sugar (firmly packed)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 heaping tablespoons flour 
3 tablespoons milk 
2 tablespoons melted butter 
4 ounces chocolate chips 
1 unbaked pastry pie-shell

Preheat oven to 350°F. In a large bowl, combine the first six
ingredients and mix on medium speed with electric mixer for two
minutes. Add chocolate chips. Stir well. Pour into the pie-shell and
bake for 40 minutes or until lightly browned and set. Remove from
oven, let cool. Cut into eight or ten slices. Top with something
creamy: whipped cream, vanilla ice cream, or a dollop of marshmallow
cream. Should be refrigerated if there's any left over. Don't let
Daisy get anywhere near this: doggies just LOOOVE butterscotch pie, as
I once learned to my dismay when I left my pie too close to the edge
of the kitchen counter.

======================================================================

Thanks for the opportunity to share some of my favorite bits of
down-home cookin'. If I see any escargots sneaking around in my
backyard, I'll tell 'em they lucked out today. ;-)

Best,
Pink

---

Request for Answer Clarification by probonopublico-ga on 06 Aug 2003 06:05 PDT

Hi, Pinky

Went into a fishmonger's today & enquired about catfish.

He'd never heard of it being available in the UK.

So, it looks as though I'll never get the chance to taste your delicacy.

Regards

Bryan

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Clarification of Answer by pinkfreud-ga on 06 Aug 2003 11:55 PDT

My goodness, no catfish in the UK? That's a market waiting to be
tapped by some smart Okie.

Next time you come to Oklahoma, you can have catfish galore. It's one
of the most popular dinners here. Like almost everything else, it's
usually fried, but there are occasional exceptions. Baked catfish can
be mighty tasty with the right fixin's.

Pending your next trip across the pond, you might see whether you can
find a fish called "basa" that may be sold in Asian marketplaces. I've
heard that it tastes very much like catfish.

~Pink

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Request for Answer Clarification by probonopublico-ga on 06 Aug 2003 12:49 PDT

Hi, Pink

I'll keep looking for basa as well as the catty thing.

Mnay thanks!

Kindest regards

Bryan

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Clarification of Answer by pinkfreud-ga on 06 Aug 2003 15:13 PDT

I've learned that there is indeed a catfish to be found in the UK,
although it may not be sold in the fish markets. The "Wels Catfish" is
a whopping big fella who lives in lakes. If you decide to take up
angling, this is the sort of fish that you'll only need to catch one
to feed the whole neighborhood:

http://www.catfish.net/article7.htm

http://xvella.free.fr/photos-eng.php

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Request for Answer Clarification by probonopublico-ga on 06 Aug 2003 21:55 PDT

Many thanks for pointing me in the direction of local catfish.

Now, I shall start looking for a pan big enough.

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Clarification of Answer by pinkfreud-ga on 07 Aug 2003 11:27 PDT

If you cannot find a pan that will accommodate your giant catfish,
perhaps the thing to do is skewer the fishie on a large branch and
roast him over a raging brush-fire. This will have the advantage of
making you feel like a rugged, lumberjackish sort of person. ;-)

Brilliant!

Just a couple of minor problems ...

We don't get any catfish in this neck of the woods. But not to worry,
I bet cat meat or cat food will do just fine.

Also, I've never seen nor heard of any canned pumpkin ...

But not to worry, I don't mind making a fool of myself when I ask
around.

And then there's that Chocolate Butterscotch Pie and also Journo's
Buttermilk Pie ... Well I'm real sorry, Ladies, but I never eat any
'puddings' (as we call them here) ... That's probably the reason that
I look so great.

It's my fault ENTIRELY ...

So I won't be asking for my money back!

Kindest regards

Bryan

Thanks for the question! I am going to rummage through my recipe files
and find something really nice for you.

I'm a bit ashamed to say that my recipes are not in my computer, but
are scribbled on hundreds of scraps of paper that are stacked
willy-nilly in a kitchen cabinet, so this may take a little while. ;-)

~Pink

Hi, Pinky

Please take your time ...

Even though my mouth is watering already.

(But please avoid Shellfish, Red Meat, Frogs' Legs, and Escargots.)

Escargots? Rest assured that I shall not provide a recipe for the
cooking of anything that we in Oklahoma typically stomp on in the
garden. ;-)

Goodness gracious, my oh my
Don't forget the Buttermilk Pie!

http://southernfood.about.com/library/rec00/bl00510h.htm

Thanks for the five stars and the lavish tip! 

Regarding the absence of catfish in the UK, I would not substitute cat
meat or cat food if I were you. Much better if you go for catsup.

Since the recipes I chose weren't quite the thing, here's a bonus.
This is an old Okie specialty that is delicious, fat-free, and
probably even healthful. It's a tasty accompaniment to just about
anything. I even like it all by itself.

Oklahoma Cranberry Catsup 
 
4 cups cranberries 
2 large yellow onions, chopped 
1/2 cup cheap white wine 
1 cup V-8 Juice (or tomato juice; V-8 is much better)
3 cups sugar (brown sugar is best)
1 cup cider vinegar 
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon 
1 tablespoon allspice 
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder 
1 tablespoon powdered celery seed 
1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper 
1 teaspoon salt 
 
Boil cranberries and minced onions together with wine and V-8 Juice
until the berries pop. Allow mixture to cool slightly, then transfer
to blender or food processor and puree. Return the puree to saucepan
and stir in remaining ingredients. Simmer over low heat for about an
hour until thickened, stirring occasionally. Store in glass jars or
bottles. Keeps for a long time in the fridge, or practically forever
in the freezer.

~Pink

Hi, Pink

Many thanks for the bonus.

Of course, what I was really hoping for was an invitation to dinner
because, otherwise if things go wrong, I won't know whether to blame
the cook or the recipe.

Here's hoping!

Bryan

This is a really old question...but just a thought..

there is no butterscotch in the chocolate butterscotch pie?  

sincerely,
an amateur cook

Hi Julie

I had wondered why this recipe surpassed every other chocolate
butterscotch pie that I had ever tasted.

Simple me, I thought it was because I'd replaced the brown sugar and
the chocolate chips with some catfish.

Surprising what you learn.

You've given me a great start to my day.

Many thanks!

Bryan

Regarding the mysterious absence of butterscotch from the chocolate
butterscotch pie:

Note that the recipe contains brown sugar, vanilla, milk, and butter.
These items, if cooked in a different way, would result in
butterscotch. One might reasonably say that the pie itself is a form
of very soft, very moist butterscotch.

Please do not defile the pie by adding catfish, as suggested above.
Catfish is the sort of ingredient that should be used quite sparingly
in desserts. Even one or two molecules of catfish can alter the
delectable nature of a pie in a remarkable way, making it unfit for
human consumption (but still delightful to doggies).

~Pink

Hi, Pinky

I knew that!

But I was much too modest to articulate it.

Bryan the Shy One