I've never been a consistent performer.  At work, I've seesawed
between performing way above standard, to being warned about
inadequate work.
In my private life, I've alternated between extremely punctual and
proactive, to waiting to the last minute and beyond.  Right now, I'm
way overdue for an oil change, and I am several quarters behind on
some critical tax filings.
 When I reviewed some old reports cards going back to grade school, I
was astonished to see how badly I'd do one marking period, and how
wonderfully I'd do the next.
 I have to wonder if I have a brain chemistry problem, a self-sabotage
complex, or simple laziness.
 I need to know which I have, and I need to find out quickly and at
the most reasonable cost.
 Please help me find help.

---

Request for Question Clarification by kriswrite-ga on 19 Aug 2003 08:09 PDT

I suggest you start by taking this questionaire:

http://www.dbsalliance.org/questionnaire/screening_intro.asp

If this doesn't answer some questions for you, let us know here.

Kriswrite

---

Clarification of Question by pcventures-ga on 19 Aug 2003 08:16 PDT

It's helped me a bit - I said "yes" to some of the opening questions.
 But all the form did was accept my answers.

---

Request for Question Clarification by kriswrite-ga on 19 Aug 2003 08:37 PDT

When you finish the first page, did you click PROCESS? If so, what did
the page that followed tell you?

Kriswrite

---

Clarification of Question by pcventures-ga on 19 Aug 2003 08:44 PDT

Well, when I clicked process it asked me more about possible
diagnoses, and also asked me for some statistical stuff - ethnicity,
age, etc.
 And then thanked me for the input.

---

Request for Question Clarification by kriswrite-ga on 19 Aug 2003 09:01 PDT

Hi again Pcventures~

You don't seem to be a dead-ringer for a mood disorder. (If you'd like
to check for yourself, see these two web pages: Dr. Ivan's:
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
Mood Disorders: http://www.nationalyouth.com/mooddisorders.html )

Frankly, your problem could be as simple as lack of real motivation.

My best advice is for you to seek a psychologist in your area. Nobody
can possibly diagnose you effectively without meeting with you in
person. A psychologist should give you a test (or tests) immediately
that can pin point any real disorders or illnesses. A general
physician or counselor is less qualified and will probably send you to
a psychologist, anyway.

I'm not sure this is the answer you are really seeking, so I'm just
going to post it here in "Clarification." If it suits your needs,
however, please let me know, and I'll make it an official Answer.

Best wishes,
Kriswrite

---

Request for Question Clarification by mvguy-ga on 19 Aug 2003 09:18 PDT

Three types of disorders come to mind: a mood disorder,
attention-deficit disorder, and borderline personality disorder, all
of which can lead to wildly inconsistent performance. I'm sure there
are other possibilities as well.  There is no way that a Researcher
can determine what your problem is, but we could help you find a
professional that could help. If you'd indicate what city (and
state/province or country) you live in, we could direct you to some
resources, if you'd like.

---

Clarification of Question by pcventures-ga on 19 Aug 2003 09:20 PDT

Thank you for your answers so far.  They've helped.
 I have no problem with seeing a psychologist, but I'm concered about
 the length of time it may take to identify the problem, let alone resolve it.
 I'm also concerned about the cost.

---

Clarification of Question by pcventures-ga on 19 Aug 2003 09:33 PDT

I'm in Westchester County, NY

Hi again Pcventures~ 
 
You don't seem to be a dead-ringer for a mood disorder. (If you'd like
to check for yourself, see these two web pages: Dr. Ivan's:
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
Mood Disorders: http://www.nationalyouth.com/mooddisorders.html ) 

And, at least from what you’ve told us, ADD doesn’t seem obvious.
Still, you might want to take an ADD test; this one is provided by
Amen Clinic: http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/adult1.asp
 
My very best advice is for you to seek a psychologist in your area.
Nobody can possibly diagnose you effectively without meeting with you
in person and giving you official tests.

I would start with one of these sources, all of which are in
Westchester County:

Joyce Nathan, Ph. D.
(914) 328-0797
White Plains

Westchester Center for Behavior
(914) 948-1411
White Plains

Center for Behavior Therapy
(914) 946-4666
White Plains

I understand your concern about cost; if you have any insurance,
double check to see if they’d pay for psychological services.

Ultimately, a psychologist is really the best choice. If you go to a
general counselor or physician, they are less qualified on such
matters and can eat up a lot of your time and money trying to help
you. Most will end up sending you to a psychologist, anyway.

A good psychologist will test you on your first visit. This will help
pin-point any disorder(s) you might have, and you will know very
quickly whether or not you really need a psychologist’s services.
This, of course, saves money.

In any case, I would express your concerns about cost to the
psychologists’ office and the psychologist him- or herself.

What you need to decide is whether it’s worth it to you to try to
determine whether you can improve, or whether you’d prefer to save
your money and continue as you have been. From your post here, it
seems that you’re really desiring a change in your life. There may be
a cost to that, but it sounds like you’ll end up being thankful for
it.

Best wishes,
Kriswrite

Keyword Search:

mood disorders
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=mood+disorders

"Westchester County" New York psychologist
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=%22Westchester+County%22+New+York+psychologist&btnG=Google+Search

ADD test
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=ADD+test&btnG=Google+Search

Very helpful person - thanks!

DEAR GOD MY FRIEND...YOU HAVE A.D.D.

HAS NO ONE TOLD YOU THIS?
PLEASE PLEASE  PLEASE GET UP NOW AND GO TO ALIBRIS OR AMAZON  AND  GET
THE BOOK .........      "DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION"............IT WILL
EXPLAIN YOUR LIFE TO YOU.
A.D.D IS A GIFT.
 BUT IT IS ALSO A LIABILITY, AS OTHER PEOPLE REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND  AND
ACCEPT  IT.
THESE ARE PEOPLE WITH AGENDAS.
AVOID THEM.
DO SOME RESEARCH.
THERE ARE MANY BOOKS FOR YOU.
"YOU MEAN I'M NOT LAZY,CRAZY OR STUPID?" IS ANOTHER GREAT BOOK.
SOUND FAMILIAR?
BE VERY CAREFULL WITH THERAPISTS. iT IS BEST IN THE BEGINNING TO KEEP
YOUR OWN COUNSEL
MANY OF THEM DO NOT UNDERSTAND A.D.D.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK FIRST.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED....AND YOU MUST  BE...I WILL SEND YOU HERE A
LIST OF SITES THAT ARE INFORMATIVE AND SUPPORTIVE.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU,OR ANYBODY ELSE WITH A.D.D.
IT IS A  BRAIN 'MISFIRE'.
BUT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS.

Here's something to ask yourself b/c only you know the answer.  Look
back into your childhood records and see if during the episodes where
you were performing normally your family situation was normal.  During
the poor episodes, was your family having problems?  Most of the time
these are just learned emotional responses to things.

For example, I made OK grades but every time a traumatic experience
happened in childhood, like divorce or bankruptcy, my grades would
plummet and I would too, emotionally.  It's ironic that I never
connected to two things.

I hope this helps.

What you're describing could be ADD. One element of your behavior that
you don't describe is whether your erratic behavior occurs with the
same activities or with different activities. That is, are you
consistently late on oil changes and tax filings, for instance, or are
you sometime punctual and sometimes late? (If the former, read
on...more likely that ADD is a possible cause.)

ADD is actually more of a selective attention issue than attention
deficit. People with ADD can and often do focus very well on
particular aspects of their life, and very poorly on others. Sometimes
the problem is broadly based--say disorganization dealing with all
paperwork or recordkeeping (or schoolwork, for kids). But other times,
a person may be very focused in some areas (reading, video games,
drawing) and very unfocused in others. This often leads to comments by
others (such as teachers to kids): "You've got so much potential...if
you'd only focus on the assignment." Or by parents: "If you paid as
much attention to your homework as you do to ___________, you'd be
getting straight As."

So, I'd suggest that you consider the possibility of ADD. A
psychologist has the tools to diagnose it fairly quickly. (It's
described in DSM-IV.) Other trained health care professionals, such as
clinical social workers, may well be qualified as well.

One other possibility (and it can be comorbid with ADD, which really
amplifies the effect) is that you've simply got a low tolerance for
boredom...a trait sometimes found in very bright people. (IQ tests
aren't the best, but do you have any idea what your IQ is?) Sometimes,
very bright people focus on what they're interested in, and tune out
what they're not. So, in school for instance, in a history course
perhaps you were fascinated by the American Revolution but bored with
the Trust Buster era. You'd get an "A" in the former and a "D" in the
latter. Erratic performance caused by a variation in your interest
level.

Hope that helps.

This is so weird. I almost laughed when I read your complete email. No
offense friend. What I mean is I have been in the same boat all these
years. I am 25 and have experienced this kind of thing all my life.
I too thought I was nuts and then I found out something: Get your
thyroid hormones , TSH and thyroid antibodies checked. Along with it
get your Cortisol and ACTH checked. I had borderline adrenal
insufficiency. I remember I used to gorge myself on salt as a baby,
went away growing up.

See if these behaviours fit your pattern.

1. Have trouble getting started on a project. But when I start, after
a certain critical point, I get completely ABSORBED and do an
excellent job on it.

2. Dont like confrontations and arguments, but when I get sufficiently
motivated, have an outburst, and calm down quickly. Cannot sustain
prolonged bouts of rage or anger.

I dont know but I remember telling someone that if you plot a graph of
you life on the x-axis and your work efficiency (not just work but
doing stuff) on the y-axis, mine would look like a below average low
level line with intermittent spikes, whereas a regular persons would
probably be a line at the average point. But the total area covered by
both would be the same. Does that sound confusing.
Get your hormones checked.

We actually have two brains, just like with have two eyes and two
lungs, etc. One can get along with just one brain, say the right and
not the left. Because we have two brain/ one tends to be the mature
one and the other the immature one. Because we can only be in one at a
time, we don't realize there are two of us. For most people there are
not too much difference between the two. In your case they are quite
different. One is lazy and the other is a go getter. Any of the above
could account for why you stay stuck in one or the other. This is what
happens with bipolars. Alot of work on this was done by this dude in
Harvard. I think the name of his book is something like "of two
minds". It is actually pretty cool to have these two different
personalities. You get to have two different lives, most of us only
get to have one boring one. I would just love and enjoy both, sounds
like it all average out to a five any way.

I could have sworn that I wrote that question, and then forgot I ever posted it.

You have ADD, without a doubt.  You are living my life.  I have been
on medication and in counseling for the past year (I'm 38).  It runs
in my family, from my brilliant scientist dad, to my brother, to my
son.

The emotional part of it by people who refuse to accept the condition
as real is very difficult to deal with.  Being told by my husband that
I am lazy or crazy... wow, I know how that hurts.

Dr Amen also put out a great video on ADD in relationships.  (His wife is ADD).

If I could just get my husband to watch it.