Hello, totomigi-ga!
Thank you for another interesting and challenging question! Children
are so important. The more that we can learn and understand about
their lives and particular challenges, the better able we are to help
them as parents, and, as a society.
==
Children between 8 and 12 are often called preteens, or "tweens".
The "tween" years encompass the often tumultuous transition between
childhood and teenager when kids are learning how to deal with a host
of developmental and societal pressures.
According to Ruby Takanishi, an expert on child and adolescence
development and president of the Foundation for Child Development,
these years are "unmatched in the juxtaposition of simultaneous
changes -- cognitive, biological, social and emotional". The Carnegie
Council on Adolescent Development notes that events which occur during
this "crucially formative phase can shape an individual's life course
and thus the future of the whole society."
"Preteens constantly face choices and risks: smoking, alcohol,
bullying, depression, eating disorders, drugs, gangs, family issues
and many others. Emotional problems can hinder a child's ability to
function at home, at school, and in the community, and can ultimately
lead to academic failure, family conflict, substance abuse, violence,
suicide, and other serious issues.
From The Lucile Packard Foundation. (2003)
http://www.lpfch.org/informed/preteens/
*****
GIRLS
*****
From "Girls Speak Out: Teens Before Their Time". Executive Summary.
Girl Scouts of America. (2000)
http://www.hngirlscouts.org/TeensBeforeTheirTime.pdf
The booklet "Girls Speak Out: Teens Before Their Time" summarizes
the concerns of a subgroup of 8-12 year-old girls who participated in
research studies conducted during 1999 and 2000. The old notion that
these middle childhood years are an innocent and idylic precursor to
the tumultous teenage years is dispelled. Young girs, especially, are
confronting "teenage" issues at a much younger age and being forced
into maturity before they are emotionally ready.
The study finds that three key areas of child development - cognitive
development, physical development and emotional development - are
working "out of sync" as young girls are facing an acceleration in
cognitive and physical maturity while emotional development remains
tied to the 8-12 year age level.
(Copyright does not allow reproduction of material without permission
so I have summarized the research highlights below:)
Findings:
=========
Major concerns of 8-12 year old girls focus on three primary areas:
Family
Social Life
School
Family
------
Family is integral to the life of 8-12 year-old girs. The family is
the center of support and most girls turn to a significant family
member for advice.
Young girls need to talk about their questions and concerns. While
many are confronting issues that used to be the arena of teenagers,
like dating and sex, they often find that their main confidantes
(parents) are unwilling or unable to talk about the very matters that
their daughters are facing on a daily basis. This creates a stressful
dilemma. The very people they have trusted most up until this time are
now unavailable.
Social Life
-----------
The society of 8-12 year old girls is comprised primarily of best
friends, boys, and the larger peer group.
Gaining position within the popular peer group is a concern of many
girls. Clothing, the ability to attract boys, material possesssions,
attractiveness and sexuality are major influencers of popularity.
Exclusion from a desirous peer group and being considered an
"outsider is a strong source of anxiety.
Friends become an increasingly important source of advice as girls
become older, but lack of experience prevents them from providing a
solution to problems. Rather, they are primarily a source for
reassurance.
Self-image is extremely important as age increases, and can be
affected by social class, race, ethnicity and appearance.
Sexual issues are a puzzle. Media portrayal combined with
misinformation from friends or family members leads to confusion.
Anxiety about relationships with boys is prevalent. There is a
certain amount of fear associated with how to react with boys, and the
potential for innapropriate touching and abuse.
While most girls reserve romantic relationships for the teen years,
the perception about age appropriateness for such a relationship
lowers as girls get older.
School
------
School comes first as an opportunity for socializing, second as an
arena for learning. This does not overide the fact that girls in this
age group also realize that school is important to their future goals.
Many have career aspirations in mind. They understand that parental
concern is an expression of support. The girls feel quite capable of
handling the acacemic expectations.
School and identity are linked. When academic performance does not
meet individual expectations for self-performance, anxiety can be a
result.
School is a link to the future and to control over life. The majority
of girls aspire to college and a career. In this age group, the desire
for a career dominates the desire to marry or have children.
What does it mean to be female?
-------------------------------
Girls in this age group are starting to define the essence of gender.
Female behavior is associated with being nice, responsible, pleasing
to others and a bit placid. They see themselves as more helpful around
the house compared to boys, who are often considered lazy in the home
setting.
Appearance is very important, both in terms of self-perception and
perception from others. Girls in this age group begin to grapple with
issues that are normally reserved for teenagers - weight, style, image
- but are often unable to understand their own feelings. They often
look to older models and mature women as desirable images to follow
for appearance, yet they are physically unable to attain this "look".
* Disturbingly, girls grow increasingly dissatisfied with their own
appearance with each year.
Physical Development
--------------------
Maturing bodies add to the pressure to leave "girlhood" before many
are ready. Puberty and associated sexual issues can create fear. The
absence of accurate information about physical development from a
parent or trusted adult fuels anxiety.
Conclusions
===========
Eight-to-twelve year-old girls feel pressure to act older than they
feel. Earlier puberty causes some girls to appear older than they are,
adding to the expectations placed upon them. Emotionally, girls in
this age group are not ready to cope with the barrage of adult
messages surrounding them in the media and society. They often lack
the essential information necessary to understand and cope with these
pressures.
Girls have a strong need and desire for trusted adults who will allow
them to open up and discuss their feelings and questions about what is
happening in their lives. They would like to have their family
members, especially their mothers, as confidantes. Family attachment
is still especially strong and these young girls would like to feel
surrounded by a strong, supportive family atmosphere.
++++++
The Confusing Nature of Popularity and Sexuality
================================================
From "Sexual labels haunt girls early in life," by Barbara F. Meltz.
The Mercury News. (March 2003)
http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/living/5511985.htm%20
"One researcher calls it "the slut trap." Another describes it as a
pedestal waiting to be smashed. A third calls it the "thinnest of all
tightropes."
"They're talking about your daughter's reputation, and it can start in
middle school, not high school. It's typically girls, not boys, who
start nasty rumors, and a girl can get a bad reputation without any
basis in fact, although some girls who do engage in sexual behavior
gain positive, if temporary, status."
"If this sounds scary and confusing to you, imagine how your daughter
feels."
"All the girls are afraid this could happen to them," says Lyn Mikel
Brown, a developmental psychologist at Colby College in Maine who
specializes in girls' development."
"The way she and other researchers see it, girls are caught in a
bind."
"First, there's external pressure telling them that to be popular,
they need to please boys. Then, starting in fourth or fifth grade and
peaking in seventh and eighth, they feel a strong need to belong.
Combined, these forces are what clinical psychologist Sharon Maxwell
of Canton, Mass., calls "`girls' sexual energy'': the realization that
being a sexual person gives you social power and that looking a
certain way - sexy - helps you to fit in."
"This doesn't necessarily translate to wanting sex or even feeling
sexual. "It's more a need to feel personally powerful,"' Maxwell
says."
**************
BOYS AND GIRLS
***************
Is Childhood Disappearing?
==========================
From "Children Who Never Were," by Frances Whiting. The Sunday Mail.
(August 2003)
http://www.thesundaymail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,6971629%255E5422,00.html
According to Dr. Karen Brooks, the bombardment of adult images in the
media is creating a strong desire in tweens "to reach that stage
without going through the traditional transitional stages like
prepubescence and adolescence."
The pressures on tweens is evident in the rise in childhood anorexia
- both in girls and boys.
"The question is: Why? What on earth could make an eight-year-old
child, usually the first to come running home from school and raid the
fridge, simply stop eating?
Dr Madden points his finger at the plethora of adult images and themes
targeted towards, and readily available to, children.
"The kids we see with anorexia are actually the over-achievers - the
school captains, the elite athletes, the ones achieving outstanding
academic results," he said. "They are perfectionists who are used to
doing well and are very sensitive to criticism. They spend a great
deal of their young lives trying to make everyone happy so that they
will continue to be liked, to be looked up to, to do well.
"Kids naturally want to please, and the message they are getting -
through television, through magazines, through movies and through the
Internet - is that in order to be popular and successful, they have to
be thin."
The APSU also conducted an Australia-wide study into those aged up 13
who were admitted to hospital with anorexia, and found that the number
of boys with the disorder was also on the rise.
"Over a third were boys, and that figure, too, is a new and disturbing
trend," Dr Madden said.
"But for both boys and girls, we are seeing the results of forcing
adult images of sexuality and body image on them at far too young an
age. We are forcing kids to become adults long before they are
intellectually, emotionally or physically ready to."
"The children who seem to be in the highest danger of this
too-much-too-young syndrome are the so-called "tweens", boys and girls
generally aged between seven and 13 whose purchasing power makes them
worth a reputed $10.7 billion a year."
++++
Psychological Pressures and the Tween Years
============================================
From "Maybe I Don't Want To Be Alive," by Brad Emerson. The National
Post (April 2003)
http://www.kidshavestresstoo.org/khst/NatpostApr03.pdf
"Much has been said about how children are 'growing up' earlier, but
until recently little attention has been paid to the anxiety tweens
can feel."
"Until recently, few doctors paid any attention to the mental health
of tweens, the boys and girls straddling the childhood and teenage
years. But when U.S. researchers noted the suicide rate in this age
group - though small - more than doubled between 1979 and 1995, the
medical community began paying attention."
"Clinicians now understand that depression, anxiety, obsessive
compulsive disorder and other illnesses can affect children. An
estimated 5% of all children in Canada suffer from depression at any
given time. And the face of depression in these troubled children has
changed dramatically. "I've been in practice now for 22 years, and I
would say one of the phenomena we see now as part of depression is
cutting -- kids hurting themselves, burning themselves, cutting
themselves," says Dr Marshall Korenblum, chief of psychiatry at
Hincks-Dellcrest Centre in Toronto, a child mental-health facility."
"I would say this is a recent -- as in the last five years --
phenomenon. I didn't see any of this 20 years ago. It was so rare,
usually the person would have to be psychotic to be cutting or burning
themselves. Now -- I consult to schools -- cutting is common. It's
happening all over the place."
"Dr. Korenblum and many others say our culture is putting increasing
pressure on young children to be thin, sexy and tough. Even the
process by which information travels -- the Internet -- allows
children to share their feelings, and they spread like wildfire.
"They get on the chatline, and one kid says, 'Maybe I don't want to be
alive,' and it's been documented that there is a contagion effect,"
says Dr. Korenblum. "The Internet is a contributor to this contagion
effect."
"Perhaps unwittingly, parents may be contributing to the problem by
wanting their children to succeed too much. Over the past 10 to 15
years, says Dr. Elkind, society has left many of the milestones of
childhood behind. Milestones meant a child could attend a sleepover at
age nine, wear nylons at 12, or makeup at 13."
"In his 2001 book, The Hurried Child, David Elkind, professor of child
development at Tufts University in Boston, warns of the pitfalls of
pushing children academically, socially or emotionally. "Children need
to feel important and cared for," he writes. Instead, he says, they
are pushed into an adult mindset long before they can handle it."
"Over the past 10 to 15 years, says Dr. Elkind, society has left many
of the milestones of childhood behind. Milestones meant a child could
attend a sleepover at age nine, wear nylons at 12, or makeup at 13."
"Those milestones are all gone," says Toronto pediatrician Diane
Sacks, incoming president of the Canadian Pediatric Society. "We see
seven- or eight-year-old boys with earrings. They act and they talk
and they look like adolescents, partly because their parents want them
to grow up, because that means that they can take on more
responsibility and it lightens the load for parents, which shortens
our term of parenting, which I think, believe it or not, many parents
want."
...
"However, other adolescent behaviours, such as risk-taking -- smoking
tobacco or marijuana or drinking alcohol -- are rising among tweens.
"I think some of that is self-medication; they're stressed and they're
trying to relax," says Dr. Sacks. "Some of it is they're trying to be
peer-related. At nine or 10, usually we cared only about our parents.
But now it's important to have a peer group at that age. That [used
to] be early adolescent behaviour but it's been pushed down a bit."
"Dr. David Elkind says children these days are pushed into an adult
mindset long before they can handle it - which can lead to
mental-health problems."
+++
Younger Juveniles with No Community Supervision
===============================================
From "University of Cincinnati e-briefings." (July 2000)
http://www.uc.edu/news/ebriefs/tween.htm
"When University of Cincinnati adjunct assistant professor of social
work James McBreen first started his social work career in 1971, the
juveniles he worked with tended to be teen-agers of 15, 16 or 17.
Today troubled juveniles can be young "tween-agers" -- 8, 9 and 10.
McBreen is the clinical director for family outreach services at Beech
Acres, a child welfare and behavioral health agency in Cincinnati. He
said, "Kids under 12 seem to have more serious problems, more severe
mental illness, commit more serious crimes."
"The community that used to exist to support young kids simply does
not exist anymore and it has not been replaced with anything else yet,
he warns. "That is one of the issues we are dealing with here: How do
we help the community build a web of support for children? The kinds
of communities we knew as kids as neighborhoods don't exist anymore
for kids of this age. The neighbor next door is not going to call your
mom anymore and tell her if you've done something wrong. The idea of
community is missing."
+++
Statistics Concerning Twelve-Year Olds (7th grade or Junior High age)
====================================================================
From "Facts and Figures". The Preteen Digest. (August 2003)
http://www.lpfch.org/informed/preteens/p-digest/
"Santa Clara County recently released a report on children and youth
that includes the latest California Healthy Kids Survey data, which is
based on responses from almost 16,000 7th, 9th, and 11th graders in
the county.
Among the findings:
* Body Image: 31 percent of 7th graders said they consider themselves
overweight.
* Emotional Health: 24 percent of 7th graders said they felt so sad
that they
stopped doing their usual activities for 14 or more consecutive days
in
the past year.
* Smoking: 11 percent of 7th graders said they think smoking helps you
make friends.
* Suicide: 22 percent of 7th graders say they seriously considered
suicide in the past year, and 10 percent said they even had made a
suicide plan in the past year.
+++
Statistical Information on issues and concerns of youth in New
Hampshire
==========================================================================
From "Chapter 6: Physical and Mental Health Issues." Conway School
District.
http://ceinfo.unh.edu/Taps/CONHelth.pdf
Junior High Statistics:
29% - Not fitting in
13% - Being Left Alone
18% - Being pressured into having sex
56% - Experienced depression or sadness within last month
13% - Thoughts of suicide in past month
7% - Suicide attempt
+++
Tween Statistics
================
From "Audience Culture Insight Research Report. Identity: Who They
Are." (Jan. 2002)
http://www.vtsf.org/MarketingResearch/Look%20Look%20Revised%20Topline%205.pdf
(A survey of Virginia youth)
Fears
-----
"Over a quarter of tweens (27.6%) said they worry about "robbers."
They also worry about "getting shot," "kidnappers," "serial killers,"
"the dark," and "the unexpected" (3.4% each).
Further down the list are worries of acceptance:
tweens (1.7%) said they worry about "friends" as well as "what people
think/say about me" (tweens 1.7%)"
Fears by Gender
---------------
"Both male and female tweens said their top worry is personal safety:
mainly "robbers" (female 33.3%, males22.2%)
Stressors
---------
"Schoolwork was cited as the number one answer for tweens (30%)."
"Personal relationships are also causes of stress.
Family/parents" are a source of stress (tweens 11.7%)
Boys/girls/opposite sex (tweens 3.3%)
Friends" (tweens 3.3%).
Stressors by Gender
--------------------
Female tweens are significantly more concerened about school than
their male counterparts.
Female tweens said they were stressed about "homework" (females 39.1%,
males 14.0%) and "bad grades" (females 13.0%, males6.0%).
In contrast, males were more stressed over family relationships
(14.0%), sports (8.0%), and "bullies" (6.0%).
Stressors by Age
----------------
"Little differences exist among the low teenage groups in their top
three things that stress them out - "school work," "people at school,"
and "parents."
"Family" was the source of most stress for 10 (14.3%) and 11 (18.0%)
year olds.
Twelve year olds ranked "sports"(14.0%) as the number one source of
stress.
+++
Substance Abuse - Boredom and Stress (12 year-olds)
===================================================
From "Factors in teen drug abuse - PARENTAL ENGAGEMENT IS SAFEGUARD,
STUDY SAYS," by Jennifer C. Kerr. The Mercury News. (Aug 2003)
http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/6574520.htm
A 2003 study conducted by Columbia University's National Center on
Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) found that boredom, stress and
extra money are primary reasons for substance abuse in children as
young as twelve years old.
Frequent boredom can increase the likelihood of substance abuse by
50%.
"Anxiety is another risk factor. The study found that youngsters who
said they are highly stressed are twice as likely as low-stress kids
to smoke, drink or use drugs."
"High stress was experienced more among girls than boys, with nearly
one in three girls saying they were highly stressed compared with
fewer than one in four boys. One possible factor is social pressure
for girls to have sex, researchers said."
According to Joseph Califano Jr., CASA's chairman and president,
"Parental engagement in their child's life is the best protection mom
and dad can provide."
Depression
==========
From "Helping Your Preteen With Depression," by Virginia Gilbert.
HealthyPlace.com
http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/depression/related/school_5.asp
"Fifth-grade teacher Carmen Dean attributes the increase in childhood
depression in part to our MTV culture."
"Boys are made to think they have to have a pretty babe, a big car,
all this external stuff. Girls feel they have to live up to this
impossible physical ideal, so immediately there's a sense of failure.
It used to be 14- and 15-year-olds who were reacting to these
messages."
* "Now it's filtering down to the younger kids." *
.....
"Dr. Havivi says the best thing parents can do for a depressed preteen
is to talk to her."
"Conversation among families is most important, better than therapy,"
says Havivi. In these conversations, parents should practice "active
listening": express interest in what their child thinks; validate her
feelings, rather than minimize them."
+++
Effect of Divorce by Age Group
==============================
From "Dealing with Change: Divorce and Children," by Sharon Mader.
Ohio State University Fact Sheet. (2000)
http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm00/fs10.html
Age 6-8
--------
"Children 6-8 years tend to have some understanding of what divorce
means and are able to deal with what is happening. Many:
* experience deep grief over the breakup of the family
* are fearful
* yearn for the absent parent
* feel conflicts in loyalty to one parent or the other
"If the mother has custody, boys tend to behave aggressively toward
her."
Age 9-12
--------
"Older children 9-12 years try to understand the divorce and keep
their behavior and emotions under control. They may have feelings of
loss, embarrassment, resentment, and anger toward one parent or both."
"These children actively involve themselves in play and activities to
help manage their feelings. They may make up games and act out
make-believe dramas concerning the divorce to help them cope with the
situation. Some may struggle and be drawn to choosing one parent over
the other."
Overall Effects Despite Age of Child:
------------------------------------
"Children from divorced families frequently have academic problems and
are likely to be aggressive, be in trouble with school authorities or
the police, have low self-esteem, and feel depressed. They are also
more likely to have difficulty getting along with siblings, peers, and
their parents, engage in delinquent activities, be involved in early
sexual activity, and experiment with illegal drugs."
"Early research indicates that boys might experience more difficulties
than girls. On the positive side, some girls from divorced,
mother-headed households emerge as exceptionally resilient young
women. It seems that some young women thrive on the increased
responsibilities and challenges and develop warm and deeply
affectionate ties with their mothers. Similar findings do not occur
for boys."
++++
AND FINALLY....
The Effect of Absent Parents
============================
From "Cheated out of childhood," by Kay S. Hymowitz. Parents Vol.74,
no.10 (October 1999)
http://www.manhattan-institute.org/html/_parents-cheated_out_of_childh.htm
"But we parents also play a big role in our children's diminishing
childhoods - mainly by not playing a bigenough role in their lives. A
fact usually overlooked in the furor over child care is that,
regardless of the solution arrived at, younger kids have continuous
adult attention, whether in the form of sitters, teachers, or daycare
workers. But at around age 8 or 9, as they exhibit growing competence,
kids are often left alone for several hours a day. "This is exactly
the age when more kids are left to their own devices," agrees Ron
Taffel, Ph.D., a Parents contributing editor and author of Nurturing
Good Children Now (St. Martin's Press, 1999). "Parents who’ve been at
home find this a good time to go back to work." And longtime working
parents, after years of juggling schedules and panicking over
last-minute sore throats, sigh in relief as they post a list of
emergency numbers on the refrigerator and hand over the house keys. As
Dr. Taffel puts it, "Practical necessity supports the philosophy that
'this is good for my child.’
"The problem is that, as many teachers attest, kids are lonely. One
New York City middleschool principal told me that she frequently has
to shoo kids out of the building when afterschool activities end, at
6:00 p.m. "They don't want to go home," she says. "There's no one
there."
"What this parental absence means is that peer influence moves in to
fill the void. Educators report that cliques are taking firm hold
earlier than ever. Unlike ordinary friendships, cliques are often
harsh and powerful mechanisms for making kids conform to codes of
dress and behavior that have been absorbed from the media. Patricia A.
Adler, the author, with Peter Adler, of Peer Power: Preadolescent
Culture and Identity (Rutgers University Press, 1998), found that by
late elementary school, boys' popularity depends on "macho coolness
and toughness." Girls are popular, says Adler, if they are pretty,
"have cool clothes and cool possessions - the fancy car, the big
house." And, adds Adler, popularity increases in direct proportion to
a child's detachment from adults.
"To make matters worse, parents are often reluctant to take a stand
against these trends. Unsure about what other kids are up to or what
is really going on at school, many parents end up accepting their
children's judgment. Others are unwilling to squander what little time
they have with their kids on battles about clothing or movies. "When
you're working a lot, there's less time to form a close relationship,
so you do whatever you can to make it work," says Jennifer
Hammerstein, of South Salem, New York. "You worry that your child
won't like you. You give in a lot." And let's face it: Stressed-out
parents often welcome signs that their kids are maturing, even when
those signs take the form of PG13 movies and metallic lip gloss."
"It's a vicious circle. Rather than having any single cause, this
widespread curtailment of youthful innocence can be attributed to a
whole host of them, each reinforcing the other. With less time for
family life, 8 to 12-yearolds look to their peers for companionship
and behavioral cues. The peer group in turn looks to the media. And
the media spy a robust new market group that revels in being treated
as savvy, independent- from-adults consumers. In the meantime,
parents, disinclined to fight either of these forces, watch helplessly
as their kids gallop through what, once upon a time, were the prime
years of childhood.
++++++++++++
Once again, thank for the opportunity to provide information that
should enlighten us all!
Sincerely,
umiat-ga
Search Strategy
conflicts facing 8-12 year olds
preteen issues
Preteens AND psychological issues OR stress
effect of divorce on 8-12 year olds
effect of divorce on children
stress and tweens
pressure on tween boys
tweens and working parents |
