are there any psychological problems with a mother forcing her son
(age 8) to use the womans public restroom?

Here's a discussion of the issue that might be of interest:

http://www.momsview.com/discus/messages/41/11642.html

My own sons are 11 and 7.  The eldest only *just* started using the
public men's rooms on his own last, and takes his little brother when
necessary.  The little guy refuses to use the public men's rooms alone
- he doesn't feel safe in them yet, so he'll use the ladies' room if
his big brother isn't with us.

Frankly, I don't see a problem with wanting to keep small children
close in public places.  Eight years old is still quite young to be
let out of sight.

--Missy

Psychologically speaking (and I'm certainly no expert) I can't imagine
any trauma being caused by having to use the women's restroom. It's
not like there's anything to see there. Everything happens behind
closed doors -- just like at home. He has complete privacy in a stall
and women don't question a boy of that age in their restroom. Nobody
is staring or wondering.

The trouble is, often the boy is ready to go on his own before the mom
is ready to let him. (Just one of the many times this will happen in
life!)

I can tell you from a mother's perspective, it's sometimes
nerve-wracking to send an 8 year old boy into the men's restoom. You
tend to scrutinize every man that goes in after him and you're very
conscious of time passing. Too many minutes goes by and you're ready
to march in after him. Eight year olds still dawdle. They want to run
the water, check out the hand dryers, and play with the paper towel
dispenser. And sometimes they're just really slow at what they went in
there to do. The wait can seem interminable.

That certainly wasn't an answer to your question, but I hope it adds
some perspective.

-K~

I am a grandfather--not, by most standards, all that old (47), and I
find it remarkable the urban legends, if you will, that seem to
paralyze most of the folks who were kind enough to put their input in
on this matter.

All of the perspectives I have seen--and again, I deeply appreciate
the intent, the thought, and the love you certainly have for your
children--seem to be that of frightened mothers who think that their
own fear (that they translate into the security of their children)is
okay, because somehow the child will be more protected...

I saw several comments about incidents where children were either
abducted or one that seemed to really have hit a nerve, 'had their
throats slit'... as if this activity were somewhere in the realm of
possibility for their own child.

It is amazing how this fear-mongering works; there seems to be a prime
example of it with our war in Iraq, where an astounding 70% of the
people believe that Iraq had something to do with 9/11, whereas our
own intelligence agencies (I know, it is somewhat of an oxymoronic
phrase "US Intelligence")have shown that there is no correllation at
all... just as I believe that there is no reason for all this fear so
many women, including my daughter, seem to harbor for their children
in restrooms, on playgrounds, at the mall, etc.

Let your children grow-- that is what I am telling my daughter.  Oh,
and by the way, I have asked several psychologists on this subject and
they seem to feel that this type of activity is part and parcel of
overall protective tendencies, again, by good mothers, caring mothers,
whose actions done out of love can truly cause damage to the young
male's growth and development.

Bless you all.