Our organization currently has our member email list on a "one size
fits all" simple database.  We are running into the problem that some
members think we send out too many emails, while others would like to
have even more information sent to them. Our membership is distributed
over a wide geographical area so a web based solution would be best.

We'd like to move to a more sophisticated system that allows us to
1. differentiate more easily between members, non-member frequent
attenders, and others who want to be on the email database
2. select the type of emails each member wants to get, e.g. "all",
"social announcements", "items for sale", "program reminders" etc.
3. have more than one person post messages to the lists, ie multiple
access

Ideally, it wouldn't be too expensive, would be easy to use even by a
'non-techie', and would allow members to update their own profiles.

What top 3 to 5 services would fullful these needs the best. Of those,
which would be the best.  I know about YahooGroups, but it has its
drawbacks, so looking for possible alternatives.