These questions have always plagued me:
If some Democrats are bleeding heart liberals, are their Republican
counterparts coagulated heart conservatives?
Did Geoff Chaucer know he was writing in Middle English?
Why do people say ?I could care less,? when what they really mean is
?I couldn?t [possibly] care [any]less [than I do now]??
What?s the origin of the expression ?don?t go there,? and why does it
have no converse? No one ever says ?let?s go there!?
What percentage of the population is aware of the helpful appendices
in the back of a good dictionary?
How many people understand the intricacies of the rental car
companies' collision damage waiver?
Are Godiva truffles free in heaven?
Does that liquid spray wax used in automatic car washes really have any effect?
What causes some of those highway truck weigh stations to close, and
what prompts their reopening?
Haven't you always wondered why some nations or parts of nations are
called the something, like the Argentine, the Transvaal, the Yukon,
the Crimea, and until the fall of the USSR, the Ukraine?
When a corporation declares bankruptcy under Federal statute, it does
so pursuant to chapter 11. What happened in chapters 1 10?
What's more difficult, being an air controller at O'Hare International
Airport over the Christmas holidays, or folding a king size contour
sheet?
Ever notice the proliferation of antennas on police cars? Who are the
cops talking to now that they weren't in the days of one spike?
Can you be arrested for running a stop sign on the private property
surrounding a shopping mall?
Many cynical citizens believe that "not guilty" often means nothing
more than "got off." Would it make things better or worse if our
criminal justice system added a third finding, that of "exonerated"?
Why is it that men never say "I think I'll go freshen up"?
What causes golf?
Why is it that radio and TV broadcasters will break their tongues on
neek-ar AHG-wah, but wouldn't be caught dead saying par-EE?
Is it true that Walmart and K Mart reduce the number of cashiers at
the registers in direct proportion to the number of customers in their
stores, minus five hundred, so that there will always be ten people
with thirty items each in every exit line?
Do grade school teachers still feel compelled to say "if we let you do
that, Bobby, we'll have to let everybody do it"?
Could it be possible that nuclear proliferation stems from having put
Amway in charge of atomic weapons distribution?
If Danes spell the name of their capital Kobnhavn and pronounce it KUH
ben hahven, why do English speaking people debate the correctness of
"CopenHAYgen" vs. "CopenHAHgen"?
Ever notice that every TV detective entering the crime scene says
"wadda we got here?"
If an ant fell off the top of the Sears Tower, would it be injured on
impact with the pavement?
Since calling in sick is perfectly acceptable, would it not also be
alright to call in mentally ill?
How much can a scalper get for a ticket to a joint concert by Slim
Whitman, Roger Whittaker, and Zamfir?
What's more hazardous, bungee jumping from an F-14, or recommending a
stock to one of your in laws?
Ever notice that women who are described as possessed of inner beauty
inevitably fall short in the outer variety?
Has "everyone" forever lost its singular status?
What's the difference, if any, between a coronary thrombosis and a
myocardial infarction?
When riding an elevator, ever notice how many people seem bemused by
their destination (e.g., "is this our floor?")?
Why do the phone companies print the list of area codes on, say, page
34 of the phone book? Remember when they were all on page 2?
If foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, what's the
status of well reasoned consistency?
Why don't people say "you're welcome" anymore? ("Thank you." "Thank YOU!")
Remember when you looked for the Good Housekeeping seal of approval?
Ever notice how hard it is to let go of the electric window button in
your car for the window that's closed, when there's another window
still making its way to the top?
Remember when it was rumored that if one mailed in enough of those
little red tags from the back pockets of Levis, he'd be sent a free
pair of jeans?
Is it true that Saturn's rings are composed of our lost luggage?
Are there any Republican folk singers?
Why is the procedure for setting the clock in your car so counterintuitive?
Who pays the operators who answer those don't like my driving 800 numbers?
Are wives being insensitive when they neglect to put the toilet seat back up?
Whatever happened to the "western" in country and western music?
Why is it "THE wife," but never "THE husband"? (?Gee, I?m going to
have to talk to the wife about that first, Clem.?)
Is the apparently strong predisposition among women to order chicken
salad for lunch a gender linked trait? How about supermarket aisle
blocking?
Why, in referring to radio networks, do we say the BBC, but omit the
definite article when mentioning ABC, NBC, or CBS?
Why do patrons of classical music concerts yell "bravo" after a
particularly good performance? Why don't they yell "alfa," or
"charlie," or "delta"?
Why do so many people act as if they detect little or no difference
between butter and margarine, between coffee and decaf, and between
sugared cola and the diet versions?
If one can be ticketed for driving over a highway median, what's the
penalty for violating the mean or mode?
Why's there something uniquely masculine about cooking chili?
Ever notice the way some people end sentences with "or," as in "well,
we could either kill him or...."?
How come movie theatre soda pop is so uniformly bad?
Ever notice that "hemorrhoid" is never used in a spelling bee? |
