Dear Brad,
Traditionally, adoption is available to married couples, with no more
than 40 years difference between the parents and the adoptee. However,
adoption by older parents, or non-traditional (unmarried or gay
couples, for example) becomes more and more popular. As long as you're
healthy, mentally fit and prepared to have a child - there should be
no problem on your behalf (the side of the authorities will be
described here). Adoption by older parents, such as you, is possible,
mostly through international adoption procedures, but also in an
inter-family adoption, or in cases of an adoption of foster children.
International Adoption
----------------------
Several countries have very flexible age limitation. According to
About.com, many places in the former USSR have no "upper" age
limitation on adoption (Azerbaijan and the Ukraine in particular,
according to Rainbow Kids). There are also evidences and stories of
people in their 50s, including unmarried women, who adopted a child in
these countries (See: Nancy Ashe, "Older Parent Adoption - You can do
it!" <http://adoption.about.com/cs/adoptingat40/a/olderparents.htm>).
These are not the only countries. In several of the forums mentioned
bellow, several Latin American countries (esp. Haiti,
http://www.rainbowkids.com/countries/haiti.html) are mentioned, as
well as African countries (See Sierra Leone,
<http://www.rainbowkids.com/countries/sierraleone.html>). In the
Philippines "The Philippines has a strong desire for parents with a
Christian church affiliation. Couples and singles (for older
children), age is flexible." (Source:
http://www.rainbowkids.com/countries/Philippines.htm).
You could adopt older children from several countries:
Ecuador:
El Salvador:
Guatemala:
Colombia
Ethiopia
(Source: Rainbow Kids, <http://www.rainbowkids.com/countries/>)
Some forums mention China as a possible source, but China - at least
officially - limits the age of parents to 56. However, there is a lot
of contrasting information, as the chart made by the Lutheran Church
Family Services of Nebraska shows
<http://www.lfsneb.org/adoption/international/at_a_glance.html>.
Please note, that this chart includes Mongolia with a limit of 60
years old for the parents.
International adoption is money consuming but could be easier for an
unmarried, older couple. Some countries are highly discriminatory
against gay-couples.
Open Adoption
--------------
These adoptions are done not through a "normal" agency, but through
direct connection (sometimes through a go-between, such as your
Church). It could, again, cost a lot of money.
The mothers sometimes actually prefer older couples that seem more
reliant to them.
Fostering/Adopting in the US
----------------------------
Many US-based agencies would agree to grant you the opportunity to
raise a child through foster care (or adopt an already fostered
child), or adopt an older, or a child with special needs. In the US,
naturally, adopting an older child, or a child with disabilities,
might be easier (and more comfortable, financially).
For example, "There are over 120,000 kids in foster care in California
right now, and only perhaps 20 percent of them will be reunited with
their birth families. The rest need loving foster homes and
eventually, permanent homes. While some of the kids have special needs
(e.g. medical conditions, or psychological, emotional or physical
damage), many of them just need a safe home and a loving and committed
family to help them live happy lives. They are of all races and ages,
including newborns to older kids, and single kids or sibling sets. The
county is very open to people traditionally disadvantaged in adopting,
including single people, older parents, and gay/lesbian couples. They
also need foster parents for short or long-term care. To find out
about the next info session for Alameda County, the number is
510-268-2444, or the local county adoption office is listed in the
blue pages of your phone book." (Source: Berkeley Parents Network,
<http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/adoption/intl.html>).
And with older kids: "My husband and I are both 58 and we adopted an
11 year old last year. We are now being considered for a pair of
siblings 7 and 11 so age hasn't been an issue with us. We are
experienced with two older and out of the house adopted kids. Age
shouldn't be a problem for you as long as you are healthy. Be sure to
read everything you can - take as many seminars/classes/workshops as
possible to prepare yourself and read "Adopting the Hurt Child" and
"Parenting the Hurt Child" by Keck and Kupecky. ?(Source: "older
parent adoption" <http://pub70.ezboard.com/folderchildadoptionfrm7.showMessage?topicID=139.topic>).
Support Groups and advices
==========================
The highly active discussion group GAARPadopt: Gracefully Aging Aware
Refined Parents adopting <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GAARPadopt/>
is comprised of people who would like to adopt, or have already
adopted, and they are over their 40s.
Another highly active forum for older parents is in adoption.com
<http://forums.adoption.com/f544.html>. In particular, take note of
this discussion: http://forums.adoption.com/t70747.html ; and this
one: http://forums.adoption.com/t128614.html
A related article is "At Our Age--Older Parents Adopting"
<http://library.adoption.com/Over-40-Adoption/At-Our-Age-Older-Parents-Adopting/article/213/1.html>,
discussing issues surrounding older adoptive parents. Other articles
from adoption.com on the subject could be found at
<http://library.adoption.com/information/Over-40-Adoption/188/1.html>.
See also:
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption
by Christine A. Adamec, Chris Adamec, Chris Adamac, William Pierce
esp. pp. 157-171 that address non-traditional parenting and adoption.
I hope this answered your question. I searched the web for terms such
as "older parents" (very successful term) and different types of
adoption or "over 50" (which was less successful).
Please contact me if you need any further clarification on the answer
before you tip/rate it. |
