The 27 year-daughter of a woman I know will soon die of a terrible cancer
The woman is a religious person.  She cannot understand why God would
permit the death of someone so young.  I need some prose selections to
bring some comfort to her.   What I'm looking for is more than one
sentence quotes. I'm looking for something from well-known writers
stating how they accepted death and this did undermine their
religious faith.

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Request for Question Clarification by mvguy-ga on 22 Feb 2004 21:51 PST

Do you know what this woman's religion is?  Thanks.

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Clarification of Question by renoir-ga on 23 Feb 2004 19:42 PST

To clarify:  The woman is Christian, non-Catholic.  That's all I know.
 Hope this helps.
     I want to thank pinkfreud and mvguy for their comments.

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Request for Question Clarification by pinkfreud-ga on 24 Feb 2004 12:50 PST

Renoir,

I am glad to hear that my recommendation of C.S. Lewis's "A Grief
Observed" was helpful! In a comment below, you've mentioned that you'd
like to pay me $5.00. Since the price of your question is currently
set at $10.00, there are two ways that we can do this:

You can reduce the price of the question to $5.00 (to change the
price, start by clicking the gray button near the top of the screen
that says "Edit Question Parameters.") Then I can post a brief answer
consisting of my suggestion of "A Grief Observed."

Or you can leave the price at $10.00, and I can prepare a lengthier
answer that includes additional suggestions for you.

Please let me know how you'd like me to proceed.

Best wishes,
pinkfreud

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Clarification of Question by renoir-ga on 25 Feb 2004 20:11 PST

I want to thank all the researchers for their comments.  I sent an
email to google and asked if there was some way to pay something to
all the researchers who posted, but I was told "there is no way to do
this yet"
In lieu of that I feel I should pay the $10  to pinkfreud since he was
the first to post a comment. I expect p/f to provide additional links.
To accomplish the payment google says that you should post your
comment as answer.

Thank you for asking me to post the official answer to your question.
It is very kind of you to want to offer assistance to your friend
during this difficult time. Below I've posted recommendations of
several books that I hope may help to comfort her.

"A Grief Observed," by C.S. Lewis:

"When confirmed bachelor C. S. Lewis married Joy Davidman in 1956, it
was at first a friendly marriage of convenience so that she and her
sons could remain in England. By the time of her death from cancer
three years later, their partnership had become one of passion,
friendship and such deep love that Lewis was almost paralyzed by his
loss.

In this undated journal, he documents with brief observations first
the overwhelming sensations of his grief, then his rage and confusion
at God. As time passes, he chronicles his return to religion and his
acceptance of a new life, forever shaded by Davidman's presence but
still whole."

Literature, Arts and Medicine Database
http://endeavor.med.nyu.edu/lit-med/lit-med-db/webdocs/webdescrips/lewis434-des-.html

"A Severe Mercy," by Sheldon Vanauken:

"This book tells the story of the idyllic marriage of Sheldon and Jean
Vanauken, their quest for truth and beauty, their friendship with C.S.
Lewis, and the tragedy of untimely death and love lost. It includes 18
letters from Lewis... The author is a skilled craftsman with a highly
intelligent, civilized, and imaginative handle on language. His words
and his story are stirring and will evoke much deep thought and
emotion."

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060688246

"Awakening from Grief: Finding the Way Back to Joy," by John E. Welshons:

"In this remarkable book, John Welshons weaves together his own
personal awakening with those of others he?s counseled to create a
deeply felt and beautifully expressed primer on dealing with grief.
Grieving, says Welshons, offers a unique opportunity to develop deeper
and fuller life experiences, to embrace pain in order to open the
heart to joy."

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1930722184
"When Bad Things Happen to Good People," by Harold S. Kushner:

"Rarely does a book come along that tackles a perennially difficult
human issue with such clarity and intelligence. Harold Kushner, a
Jewish rabbi facing his own child's fatal illness, deftly guides us
through the inadequacies of the traditional answers to the problem of
evil, then provides a uniquely practical and compassionate answer that
has appealed to millions of readers across all religious creeds.
Remarkable for its intensely relevant real-life examples and its fluid
prose, this book cannot go unread by anyone who has ever been troubled
by the question, "Why me?"

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0380603926

"Where Is God When It Hurts?" by Philip Yancey:

"This book is for anyone who has ever wondered what God's plans were
when a person they loved was stricken with pain. Yancey's book
addresses both the abstract notion of why God allows pain and specific
examples. This book is a must for any Christian, and illuminating for
non-Christians as well."

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0310214378

"A Time to Grieve : Meditations for Healing After the Death of a Loved
One," by Carol Staudacher:

"A helpful guide for those who have been forced to face the death of
someone they love."

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0062508458

"Grieving the Loss of a Loved One," by Kathe Wunnenberg:

"Death is an inevitable and constant part of life, yet those who
grieve often feel misunderstood and alone in their journey, says Kathe
Wunnenberg, author of Grieving the Loss of a Loved One. This
compassionate book acts as a daily devotional companion to hurting
people. Designed for adult readers of all ages and stages in the
grieving process, it is sensitively written by an author who suffered
three miscarriages and the death of an infant son."

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/031022778X

"Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul: Stories About Life, Death and
Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One," by Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen:

"This collection of inspirational stories will undoubtedly touch many
hearts. Written by authors who have lost loved ones, these stories
offer comfort, peace and understanding to those going through the
grieving process."

Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1558749020

In closing, I'd like to share a little poem that I wrote. I began this
brief verse upon the death of my younger brother; several years later,
I was prompted to complete it when my best friend died of cancer.

These things I know:
That rosy cheeks grow pale,
That hearts become silent as snow,
That bright eyes must close and fail.
Across a dark sea we sail,
Rippling along the years
In waves of laughter and tears
Until we reach the dawn.
Life is much more than breath:
Loved ones die, yet love lives on,
And love drowns death.

Best wishes,
pinkfreud

Pinkfreud  always seems to come through with timely and helpful
information and answers one's question.  Thanks for all the book
recommendations.  I will purchase one (tough to do  so) and give it to
my friend.  Thanks again.

C.S. Lewis's book "A Grief Observed" was a great comfort to me when I
was coming to terms with the death of my younger brother. I highly
recommend it.

I agree with Pinkfreud. It's an excellent book.

In addition to C.S. Lewis' wonderful books, do read Philip Yancey's
"Where Is God When It Hurts." Yancey is an extremely honest Christian
writer, and never shys away from tough issues.

Kriswrite

Message for pinkfreud:  Altho you didn't answer my question directly
I'm asking Google to pay you $5.00 for your suggestion. I have ordered
the
book from amazon.com, plus "the problem of pain", also by C.S. Lewis.
Thanks again.  Renoir

Message to kriswrite:  My thanks to you also for your book suggestion.
I now have plenty to read and plenty to give to my friend. Thanks again.

Hello Renoir,

I couldn't improve upon the suggestions of my esteemed colleagues. 
C.S. Lewis is indeed incomparable at addressing the issues of grief
and pain from a compassionate, enlightened (and enlightening)and
comforting stance. Both books you've ordered are in my library and
well used. I've also read the other recommended by kriswrite-ga, and
it too is excellent. However, while waiting for your order to arrive,
perhaps you'd like to have something a little briefer to share with
your friend right now. If so, here're a couple of things I'd
recommend.

First is a booklet reproduced online in its entirety.  It's called
'Finding God in Bereavement,' written by Virginia Ironside and
published by the Christian Evidence Society.  It's a well-written,
thoughtful essay looking at death and grief from a Christian
perspective: http://www.christianevidence.org.uk/booklet6_print.html

Another is this heart-rending yet incredibly comforting essay by a
mother, dedicated to her dead son, full of both grief, and hope and
trust in God: http://www.pbc.org/dp/ritchie/3998.html

A more academic essay on Christian beliefs about death and the
afterlife, yet also from a personal perspective is this:
http://www.pbc.org/dp/ritchie/3998.html which, though it covers a
couple of controversial theological points, is also nevertheless very
comforting.

And finally, I would also recommend John Donne's classic "Devotions
Upon Emergent Occasions," from which you might recall the famous
lines: "Therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it
tolls for thee."  This work is available in its entirety online, here:
http://www.ccel.org/d/donne/devotions/devotions-bod.html

My condolences to your friend.  I'm glad she has support in friends like you.  

Kindest regards,
Byrd-ga

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran also has a beautiful passage on death.
A brief excerpt by way of example:
"And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its
restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God
unencumbered?"

- Hammer

I just realized I mistakenly posted the same link twice, thereby
missing one.  Here's the mother's story I failed to paste the link
for: http://www.inhis.com/Stories/Story.asp?id=2140