I'm pretty sure I have what you're seeking. I've attached the text of
the essay, preceded by attribution, to the end of this answer.
Some time ago Google acquired the largest archive of newsgroup
messages on the Internet. You can search for messages back to 1981.
Here is where:
There are many ways to search for messages, but after connecting to
the page above, I used the following set of words in the search box to
turn up at least one copy of the essay you're seeking:
egg shells and coffee and life and love
The message at the top of the results returned is by Bernard Glassman
and was posted in 1995 to the rec.food.drink.coffee newsgroup. He
includes the original essay with the permission of the author, Paul
Horne, which had been posted to the alt.coffee group under the title:
Instant Coffee Revisited (not flamebait)
If you search the newsgroups archives with the author's name and
title, you are likely to find other copies of the essay. I recommend
that you retrieve the message that I did as described above.
With no further ado, here is some background information via Bernard
Glassman's post, followed by the essay:
While discussing alternate ways of brewing coffee the topic
drifted around to ways used to remove the grounds from the
coffee. One suggested method involved the use of egg shells
to settle the grounds while another involved a centrifuge
technique - swinging the coffee brewing receptacle in circles.
As Paul Horne reminds us, great coffee sometimes requires
a fresh perspective. [TN]
[original post reprinted here with author's permission]
From: email@example.com (Paul Horne)
Subject: Re: Instant coffee revisited (not flamebait.
: Barry T. Drake (firstname.lastname@example.org) wrote:
: >MATTHEW NELSON DAILEY wrote:
: >...let seep for a while, then put the
: >top on the pot and hold it in place while you swing the
: >pot by its handle up and around a couple times. The
: >centrifuge effect forces all the grounds to the bottom of
: >the pot. Tastes great with any old coffee.
: A less energetic alternative is to add eggshells to settle the
: I don't know why this works; it's folklore. This is a good
: if you have a missing (or weak) wire bail
: (look, ma, it's a coffee-a-pult!).
I find an even easier alternative is to slap on your walkman, hike
down to Starbucks, and order an iced triple latte. Sip it there,
read the local paper, and meet the man or woman of your dreams. Then
sneak into the local theatre for a classic movie, and it will have
begun raining. Run laughing through the rain with your newfound love,
and duck into a little family-owned Italian restaurant for some pasta
and a bottle of Chianti. Discover that you both lived on the same
when you were growing up, but had never meet each other. You will
that not only are they the only person you've met who's funnier than
are, but they are also extremely sexy and smart, with piercing blue
that make you feel naked yet alive, excited but safe. Get a room at a
Bed & Breakfast, have the best sex of your life, and sprawl across
other's naked, entwined limbs as you split a pint of Haagen-Dazs.
yet, get two pints because the only thing you don't agree on yet is
is better--Cappuccino Commotion or Deep Chocolate Peanut Butter.
the B&B (where the blushing old lady has given you a free room,
you for reminding her of the potential and godliness of true love, and
closed the Inn so she could spend the night alone with her husband of
49 years), and stop back at Starbucks for a decaf grande. Reminisce
about your day, and express your utter and complete devotion to each
other for the rest of eternity. Exchange rings that you both
heirlooms passed down for generations--kiss passionately, and have
picture taken by an amateur photographer who was just passing through
town, and whose picture of your kiss will win him a Pulitzer prize and
the cover of Life magazine. Order a carafe of espresso for your
and hike back up the mountain with your soulmate. You will find your
friends, soaking wet from the rain and huddled around a campfire.
out the espresso to your fellow campers, and introduce your new love.
The warmth of your love will fill their hearts and dry their clothes,
they will think he/she is the ideal person for you. After a couple
of talking and laughing and writing poetry and singing with your
both of you curl up in your sleeping bag, wrap your arms around each
other, and fall asleep under a breathtakingly bright Milky Way.
I don't know, that's just me. I've heard the eggshell thing works
-------------- end of message ----------------
If you have another essay in mind, ask for a refund and tell me where
it is! I'm a coffee fiend (quadruple espresso every morning) and think
Paul Horne's essay is simply wonderful. Thanks to you!