Cat joke?
You want a cat joke?
I have a mighty fine home-grown Oklahoma cat joke right here. I'll
retell it in my own words...
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The setting is the Old West. Small saloon with swinging doors,
honky-tonk piano player, a few cute but sleazy barmaids, a bunch of
moustachio'd galoots playin' poker while their six-guns hang in
holsters on their chairs.
A cat saunters into the saloon. This is no ordinary cat. He's wearing
a black cowboy hat, a black silk shirt with black embroidery that
spells "PC" (for Pussy Cat, of course). His trousers are patchworked
black mouse-leather (very rare, made from fine Corinthian mice). He
walks upright, like a man. On his feet are cowboy boots whose
workmanship would make Tony Lama weep.
The cat goes up to the bartender, lays a hundred-dollar bill on the
counter, and says "I'll have a Pink Squirrel on the rocks."
The bartender glares at the cat and snarls, "We don't serve cats in
this here bar. You'd better be leavin'."
The cat smirks at the bartender and says "I'll have a Pink Squirrel on
the rocks, my good fellow, and make it snappy."
The bartender, being a man of few words, hauls out a six-shooter and
fires six shots into the cat's left foot, ruining one cowboy boot and
causing considerable alarm to the cat.
The cat yowls, leaps up, runs out of the bar.
Okay, it's now a month later. Same saloon, different bartender. A cat
in a black cowboy hat, a black silk shirt and black mouse-leather
trousers limps into the saloon on black crutches. On one foot he's
wearing a magnificent cowboy boot. The other foot is swathed in black
bandages.
Cat looks closely at the bartender. Doesn't recognize him.
The new bartender asks the cat, "Whut you doin' here, cat? Don't you
know that we don't serve cats in this here bar?"
Cat says...
"I've got no issues with you, bartender, so you can stand aside:
I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE MAN THAT SHOT MY PAW."
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I hope you've enjoyed this felinical fancy. I guess you could say that
this was a "Shaggy Cat Story." I got a million of 'em. Most of 'em
aren't any better than this one.
~Pink |
