I have started a new program for my consulting business:

http://www.firstfactoryinc.com/ideas/

The page needs some improvements to make it look better, convey my
offer better, and to be more appealing to others.

1. What are the top 5 things wrong with this page (in your opinion)?
How would you improve each of these?

2. What are your top 5 things that you think would cause somebody to
hesitate when considering this type of offer? How do you suggest I
change them?

3. What can I do to make this a no-brainer? What would make this
irresistible to somebody that may already be in the position to
consider this idea?

?and just for a confidence booster after reading your answers to those questions?

4. What are 3 things that you like about the page that you would not change?

Thanks!

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Clarification of Question by cornchip-ga on 17 Mar 2004 03:56 PST

akiva-ga,

Thank you! I appreciate your comments. I through the page together
last night and wanted to see what Google answers could do for me. It
worked well.

I just wanted to point out a couple of things:

1. I am employed full time (and have been employeed for many years)
2. I have multple developers working for me, I was looking for more business
3. I am in New York, my developers are all over the world

I was surprised to see that it looked despearate, but now I understand.

Thank you for your bluntness! ;)

>The page needs some improvements to make it look better, convey my
>offer better, and to be more appealing to others.

>1. What are the top 5 things wrong with this page (in your opinion)?
>How would you improve each of these?

a. It?s a weak site which does not look very professional. Since you
are selling software skills you need to show competency in the field.
I.e. Good use of HTML, Java etc. even if those are not the specific
skills you are selling.
b. The mint-green banner has got to go. You should get a graphic
designer to help you out.
c. Unclear on the onset, I had to read in order to understand what it
is you are selling. The service needs to be stated clearer.
d. No focused field. In order to sell, you need to show you are
focused for a particular sub-sub-field in the industry. Ex. We create
prototypes for gui-based web interfaces for the cooking industry.
e. Looks like a lone operation ? If you spice it up a little it can
look like you are the CTO of a large group of people focused on
helping customers achieve their goals. ? I?m not saying to lie, but in
order to get your foot in the door you need to look like you are A. in
it for the long haul (won?t leave once you get a real job) B. have
successful experience in doing just this thing.

>2. What are your top 5 things that you think would cause somebody to
>hesitate when considering this type of offer? How do you suggest I
>change them?
a. You might leave when you get a real job
b. If he?s so good why isn?t he hired already?
c. Looks slightly more complicated than hiring somebody
d. Don?t know where you are. Boston area? India? Taiwan? 
e. What?s your track record on products? 
f. Where are you going to be when I need support?

All of the above need to be addressed in the impression you give. Put
a professional multi-page web-site, with your office location and a
lot of these issues will look better.

3. What can I do to make this a no-brainer? What would make this
irresistible to somebody that may already be in the position to
consider this idea?

Examples of applications you have developed would help. Also the
specific sub-sub-industry you target.

>?and just for a confidence booster after reading your answers to those >questions?

>4. What are 3 things that you like about the page that you would not change?
Text is good and clear, Example is good, Web name is good. I like the
initiative, I just think you have to make it look a little less
desperate. Right now it kind of calls out ?I?m unemployed and I?ll do
anything to put food on the table?
 
Please don?t let my bluntness phase you.. I assume you want an honest opinion.

The idea is good.

But whether or not it's going to work depends on a lot of factors,
including marketing.

However, the page is AWFUL and requires a lot of work.

In my view, you need a very simple proposition on your Home Page (say
about 20 words), one that's going to invite readers to find out more.

A catchy name would help.