"forte vulneratus a viro succinctulo dum clodianum canem ipse petit"
is on the back of my wife's t-shirt from Jerry Springer the Opera. 
What the heck does it mean?  (I took three years of Latin, and I still
can't figure it out.)

Going out on a limb...

The phrase is mentioned here:

extended entry
welcome to xenon
http://www.astrofish.net/weblog/more.php?id=786_0_1_0_M

"FORTE VULNERATUS A VIRO SUCCINTULO DUM CLODIANUM CANEM IPSE PETIT."
N. Girlaldius Oriundus MMIII

This appears to be a mock version of the type of citation that usually
accompanies an award for valor or gallantry under fire.

The quotation seems to read:

"Having been severely wounded [forte vulneratus] by a man with small
belt (a leash?) [a viro succinctulo] while he himself chases (reaches
out for, seeks?) [dum ipse petit] a claudian (lame?) dog [clodianum
canem]."

Clodianus refers to the Claudian family of Rome, a name that was
derived from claudere, to limp. (One may recall that the Emperor
Claudius had a club foot, an hereditary trait.) The "small belt"
(succinctulo, from sub+cingulum) doesn't make much sense, but a leash
is suggested by the context. Thus, if one assumes that the shirt is
the award, one could read it:

"For having been gravely wounded by a man with a leash while he
himself was chasing a lame dog."

One can only assume that this refers to some incident on the set of
The Jerry Springer Show or Jerry Springer The Opera.

hlabadie-ga

I've got the same shirt and have been trying to figure it out for a
while now.  I was just listening to my Jerry Springer The Opera
soundtrack and I noticed that Jerry made a comment where he says:

"Accidentally shot by a man in a diaper trying to kill a member of the
Ku Klux Klan.  That's not the epitaph I was hoping for.  Still it
might not look bad in Latin."

I really think thats what the Latin on the shirt says.  I was using an
online translator and it coulnd't translate a lot of it but it did
change 'forte' to 'accidentally'.  And the other responses translation
fits as well.  "Having been severly wounded by a man with a small
belt" coudl definetly by interpreted as "Accidentally shot by a man in
a diaper", etc.  Also I just noticed the N. Giraldus Oriundus MMIII
part translates as well.  I don't know what the 'N' is but Giraldus
sounds a lot like Jerry, right?  And when I translated Oriundus is
came up with "arising from, springing from, coming from"...aka
Springer.  And the MMIII is 2003 which is when the show opened.  That
must be it.  I'm so proud of myself for figuring it all out! :)