I would like to know a sure fire way to be a contestant on The Swan
(on FOX) or another makeover show of this type.  I've tried the show's
web site and couldn't find a way to apply.  I am in desperate need of
a physical, as well as a mental makeover.  If possible, I would also
like some tips that would give me an advantage over others.

The lower half of this page has info on how to apply to be a
participant on "The Swan." I do not believe there is any "sure fire
way" to be chosen.

http://www.foxworld.com/swan/

I've had several friends who've had plastic surgery "makeovers." Not
one of them is happier now than before going went under the knife.
Altering your body may sound like the answer to your problems, but
seldom is this the case; you cannot reshape the human soul with a
scalpel.

In my comment above, the phrase "before going went under the knife"
should have been "before going under the knife." Sorry for the typo.
Brain is tired, and fingers are feeble.