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Q: ettiquete for baby showers ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   2 Comments )
Subject: ettiquete for baby showers
Category: Family and Home > Families
Asked by: rintin-ga
List Price: $20.00
Posted: 28 Apr 2004 21:13 PDT
Expires: 28 May 2004 21:13 PDT
Question ID: 338044
my daughter (25)  has no social life, her boyfriend is more out going.
 They have a baby due in Dec. they are both currently unemployed. They
live 3 hrs away.  I am also socially isloated from friends and family,
some of my family (brothers, sister, and cousin) live in between us,
two hours from me, about 1 hour from my daughter. I doubt the
boyfriend's friends or family will plan anything. I have no one here,
where I live, who really know her. Who is "supposed" to plan a baby
shower.  I don't give a damn about gifts or money, I care more about
her feeling that she has some people/family who care and will support
her socially and emotionally!  We don't know much about the boyfriends
family, a lot of hard luck stories, I doubt any support from them. 
Who, if anybody should try to arrange a baby shower?  I think, if it
is "proper", that I could put some pressure on my sister, brother, or
cousin to have a shower in the town 1/2 way between us?  What is
"correct" to do?
Subject: Re: ettiquete for baby showers
Answered By: djbaker-ga on 28 Apr 2004 22:10 PDT
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
Howdy Rintin,
Back in the day of Emily Post and her "Rules", etiquette surrounding
things like baby showers was a lot more rigid.  Today things are a
great deal more relaxed.

There no longer exists a particular requirment about who holds the
shower.  According to, showers can be hosted by
family, friends, co-workers, church groups etc.

"Anyone can give a baby shower! In more formal times, the hostess was
usually the best friend, sister or mother of the mother-to-be. These
days showers are given by family, co-workers, friends, church groups,
and even daddies-to-be."

The Baby Center ( agrees with the above quote on
who is to throw the shower:

"Anyone except the expectant couple ? though Miss Manners might
disagree. Formal etiquette says that someone who's not a relative must
throw the shower to avoid having it look as though the family is
asking for presents. Our advice? Ignore traditional rules. Any
relative, close friend, or close co-worker should feel perfectly okay
about planning a baby shower."

As I said, the general consensus seems to be that at one point it was
really only appropriate for the soon to be grandmother or the best
friend of the mother to host the shower.  That tradition has since
gone by the wayside and anyone but the mother herself is free to host

The following websites also agree with the above:

All the above links also have general information about hosting
showers, such as invitations, ideas for what to do, etc.

I hope this is a help, let me know if you have any questions.


Search method:
baby shower etiquette
baby shower who should host
rintin-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars
excellent, covered all possibilities, answered questions I hadn't thought to include

Subject: Re: ettiquete for baby showers
From: matryx-ga on 09 Mar 2005 01:42 PST
Hi Rintin,

I also agree with all of the comments made above and i do believe that
the only people who shouldnt Host a baby shower are the Parents this
is considered tacky and it looks like a party for presents.

My experience with this just for clarification I howt a web site called

Subject: Re: ettiquete for baby showers
From: opinions26-ga on 09 Mar 2005 08:21 PST
How about you hosting the baby shower at one of your family members
homes that is closer to your daughter? It doesn't sound like the
father's family will participate but you could always invite them and
try to bridge the gap a bit.  It is a tough situation but anything you
can do to make it easier for your daughter is great. Sounds like you
have her best interests and feelings at heart.  If you are interested
here is a site that has quite a bit of information on baby shower
ideas and games (it is all free).

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