hello all you motorscooters,

hey, long time, no see.  granny just got her Sephora catalog and it
had one of those smell-um tear cards inside for Sex on the Beach made
by Demeter Fragrances.  I'm wondering what the top note is in this
here concoction.  it smells a little fruity but what kind of fruit?? 
I went to the Demeter site but couldn't find out what's in this stuff.
http://www.fashion-planet.com/shopping/demeter/demeterhome.html

anyone tried this stuff on their actual dermahide?   will it be one of
those colognes that just smells good on the card and puppy puke once
it hits granny's turkey neck?  do I wanna smell like a cocktail? 
granny likes to be intoxicating with her delicate flower of a
personality so this stuff might be overkill. and will this confuse
granny's caveman suitors who might end up trying to stuff her in a
blender?  should we be smelling like food and cocktails, dirt and
tomatoes, I wonder?  granny's afraid these food scents are gonna mess
with a guy's limbic system and there will be full-tine rampant forking
going on.  whattya think?

just the top note answer will be fine.  granny's gettin' all
hypothetically rhetorical on this fine Friday eve.
GB

---

Clarification of Question by badabing-ga on 19 May 2004 10:28 PDT

hello again PF,

where are my manners?  ya know, I had that smell-um card out on my
desk all day Friday and granny ended up retreating to her bed with a
rip-roarin' headache from that stuff.  granny has an extremely
sensitive snout.  once upon a time, granny almost attacked a coworker
with a hatchet because she wore a shrouded cloud of Ciara perfume
every day to the office.  granny now works from home with a beeping
ankle bracelet.

I do think you're right on the peach note.  sister bought me some
Peach Brandy room freshener a while back and that stuff smells good
until it's loosed from the can, then it's godawful.  gonna hafta
de-fer on De-Meter.  somethin's chemically up with them.

since this question ain't gettin' answered anytime soon and granny's
too much of a cheap bastard to raise the fee, howsabout posting your
fave Sex on the Beach cocktail recipe as an answer instead?   you
saved me from plunkin' down some change on this migranous substance so
that's the least I can do.  I couldn't pinpoint what it reminded me of
until you mentioned peach schnapps, but I think you hit the high note.

p.s.  hello to you pervert Vespa commenters!

Gran,

At your request, here are some recipes for "Sex on the Beach." The
drink is likely to be safer than the real thing on the real beach, I
dare say. And, unlike the Demeter spritz, these are unlikely to give
you the sneezles.

Please note that these concoctails haven't been personally vetted by
moi. I selected these recipes because they sounded as if they might be
considered tasty by those who like this kind of thing. I don't care
for peach schnapps, so I'll practice abstinence.

Sex on the Beach

Ingredient              Amount 

Schnapps (peach)       1 1/2 oz. 
Vodka                  1 1/2 oz. 
Cranberry Juice        2     oz. 
Orange Juice           2     oz. 
Pineapple Juice        2     oz. 

Mixing Instructions

Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and strain
into a highball glass filled with ice.

DrinkNation
http://www.drinknation.com/drinks/show/792/0

Greek Sex On The Beach 
 
2 parts Vodka
1 1/2 parts Bacardi Limon
2 parts Grenadine
2 1/2 parts Orange Juice
1 part Gold Tequila
1 part Southern Comfort

Put all ingredients in together, and shake. Serve in a glass filled up
to 2/3 with ice.Serve in: Highball Glass.

DrinksMixer
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink3954.html

Sex on the Beach

3/4 ounce vodka
3/4 ounce Midori liqueur
3/4 ounce Chambord (raspberry liqueur)
1 1/2 ounce pineapple juice
1 1/2 ounce cranberry juice

Shake ingredients and pour into an ice-packed glass. 

CooksRecipes
http://www.cooksrecipes.com/beverage/sex-on-the-beach-recipe.html

Sex under the Bleachers with a KU Cheerleader

Ingredients:
1  ounce vodka
1  ounce Kahlua
3  pinches sugar
1  shot Triple Sec
1  kiwi fruit
1  teaspoon blue food coloring
1  cherry

Directions:
Mix alcoholic ingredients and kiwi in blender, then add the food
coloring and stir. Pour into glass and top with cherry.

Flora's Hideout
http://www.floras-hideout.com/drrecipes/recipes.php?page=drrecipes&data=q-z/Sex_under_the_Bleachers_with_a_KU_Cheerleader

Google search strategy:

Google Web Search: "sex on the beach" + "recipe"
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=%22sex+on+the+beach%22+recipe

I am very tempted to try the CooksRecipes version, since I adore
Midori. If I can amass enough bucks to afford the ingredients, I'll
let Granny know my opinion of that particular variant.

Best regards,
Pink Schnapps

I hear ya.  there's nothin' worse than the Attack of the Genital Sand
Crabs.  that Greek SOB with the ...er, uh ... Southern (dis)Comfort
recipe frightens granny, but I'm with ya on the cooksrecipes.  I like
that raspberry stuff so set me up with one of those umbrellas drinks
of Chambord.  Kansas can keep their blue-haired cheerleaders.  thanks
for the info, gal!  helpful as always.

Howdy hi, Granny! Glad to see ya.

An actual "Sex on the Beach" cocktail gets most of its aroma from
peach schnapps and cranberry juice. I haven't sniffed the Demeter
product yet, but I would guess that the peach schnapps might
predominate.

I have a passel of Demeter goodies, including some that smell like
booze. The Martini and Bourbon scents are delightful. However, I would
not want to wear them while driving, lest they be mistaken for the
real thing.

My favorite Demeter scents are Angel Food, Fireplace, and Tomato. I
wouldn't wanna wear 'em all at the same time, though. Would smell like
a burning restaurant.

Can you post a link to a scratch and sniff site so we can get a whiff of it?

tutuzdad-ga

I love the fact that you put this your Sex OTB question in the team
sports category, Granny. Woohoo!

dtc  :-))

Oops...typo: I didn't delete a word after I rewrote my comment. Try
this version, please:

I love the fact that you put your Sex OTB question in the team sports
category, Granny. Woohoo!

dtc

Thanks for the stars and the tip, Granny!

Regarding Southern Comfort, when I was in college, I loved that stuff.
Drank it right out of the bottle. Then Janis Joplin had to come along
and ruin it for me. I can't even smell Southern Comfort without
hearing Janis screaming "Piece of My Heart." Which is something I'd
rather not hear.

~Pink