Clarify realtor fees. I know there's lots of variation (I'm in MN) but
I haven't "paid much attention" to both their buying and selling fees.
Now I am between my "financial guy" who says I should care more, try
to negotiate, etc. and my (excellent, loyal) realtor  who is acting
sort of insulted that I would even ask for a discount, etc. I think
there are some "basics" I could learn rather quickly to appear
smarter. help?

Historically, the buying agent and the selling agent each make 3% of a
real estate transaction.  Agents would like to keep this system for
ever, but your financial guy is right that lots of negotiations go on.
 Since real estate prices have risen at a faster rate than inflation,
this is a good system for realtors.

The most common form of discount is when you use the same realtor to
sell your current house and buy the next house.  Realtors will often
give a discount if they represent you in both.  You can expect to get
from .5% to 1% off your selling fee when you're in that situation.

However, negotiations aren't limited to this case.  If you have a very
expensive house that would give a large commission, your you are
selling a house in a very liquid market  that would be easy to sell.

My advice is to listen to your financial guy.  This is business and
your realtor is free to not do business with you if he/she doesn't
want to negotiate.  I recommend interviewing several realtors and ask
each what discounts they can give you.

It is more difficult to negotiate when you are buying a house, but
there are still possibilities.

If you let me know more about your situation, I could help more.  Are
you buying/selling?  What price range?  Have you signed an exclusive
agreement with your realtor yet?

Hope this helps.

I've had several relatives who were Realtors, and I know first-hand
what an thankless job it is, how much it costs the Realtor to be in
business, and how much hard work and headache is involved. Personally,
I think it's more important to have a loyal, hardworking agent than to
save bucks. A loyal agent will save you dollars in other ways, anyway.

Just my opinion :)

Kriswrite