My boyfriend (whom is not yet divorced) is facing allegations by his
parents and their intent is to obtain custody of his sons. He has had
minimal emotional support by these people throught his deteriorating
marriage and each time he is about tomove out of the family residence
the grandparents get involved and he is persuaded to follow their
advice without regard to his feelings and the childrens needs. they
have filled the kids' heads with nonesense as to alianate their father
and he is afraid of loosing rights to his boys as it seems that both
sets of parents at times will "gang up on him" with or without the
wife. It also seems as though both mother and father are somehow
intimidated by the 2 sets of grandparents very often through the
threat of refusing any financial support now or in the future as well
as revoking any already promised help for various things(mainly
money). There are no records of child abuse or neglect by my boyfriend
and it is likely the grandparents are acting out of a need to be "in
control" and "superior" along with an attitude of "self rightousness"
as they nor any other family members have resorted to divorse and it
appears that they fear some sort of "labeling " that would lower their
social standing in addition it also looks as though this is done to
prevent my boyfriend from moving to my home as this is very similar to
the way they treated him when he was here several months ago (for
about 1 month)and he has shown some desire recently to return to my
home and this is the result. He is now afraid to do anything as funds
are virtually non existant fot a court battle between he and the
grandparents. Please help

My heart is with you, but your boyfriend is an adult and should decide
for himself. His parents have no authority on him, or on his children,
and I know of many cases where people get no support from their
parents and still manage. I didn't take any money from my own parents
for a long time now, not because I am in some kind of conflict with
them, but because I believe that an adult should be responsible on his
or her bank account and life. It might be harder - but we have to grow
up sometimes. There's a great phrase I once heard  - if you sit at the
king's table, you'd better do what the king says. Don't sit at the
king's table.

If your boyfriend feels intimidated by his parents, he should move
out, with his children - for whom he has legal guardianship. Living
with them intimidating or threatening him is not a healthy
environment. If he's concerned of their allegations, there are many
pro-bono legal aid centres and family aid organisations.