I'm looking for around 10-15 long-winded definitions of ordinary words
or objects supposedly used by the US government and Military.

For example, apparently the US Department of Defense defines a hammer
as a "manually-powered fastener-driving impact device"

Ideally, I want official US website references, but if no such things
exist then semi-official sources (e.g. online newspapers) would be OK.
I realise sometimes these things are urban myths, so I want to get as
reasonably close to the truth as can be expected.

I'm glad my suggestions were helpful. I've reposted the material
below, with one additional link that I think you'll like.

The article titled "Double Talk" (a little more than halfway down the
page) might be of interest to you:

Brain Planet: Graffiti Board Archive
http://www.sff.net/people/Brian_Plante/archive0102.htm

Here are some good ones:

"Bureaucratic jargon:
 Pentagonese v. English

Frame supported tension structure: Tent

Aerodynamic personnel decelerator: Parachute

Hexiform rotatable surface compressor unit: Nut

Universal obscurant: Smoke

The missile impacted prematurely: The missile crashed

A forcible ejection of the internal bomb components: The bomb blew up

Ambient noncombatant personnel: Refugees

Pre-dawn vertical insertion: Invasion"

University of Iowa: Bureaucracy
http://www.uiowa.edu/~c030001a/pdf/Topic%208%20Bureaucracy.pdf

Here are a few more:

"entry system = door

 high-velocity multipurpose air circulator = fan

 previously owned parts = junk

 resilient vinyl flooring = linoleum

 unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life = murder

 hydro blast force cup = toilet plunger

 hemotophagous arthropod vector = flea

 aerodynamic personnel decelerator = parachute

 environmentally operable panel = window

 interlocking slide fastener = zipper"

Web Pages of Mary Ellen Guffey: Plain English
http://www.meguffey.com/BCPP4/Plain/plainex1.html

Although the military may be among the worst offenders, I believe all
government agencies suffer from the hyperverbosity of "governmentese."
I used to work for a state government service. Once we received
notification that the state headquarters had authorized the purchase
of a new "employee hydrating device" for our office lunchroom. You
guessed it: a water cooler.

Google Web Search: bureaucratic jargon
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=bureaucratic+jargon

Google Web Search: governmentese
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=governmentese

Best wishes,
pinkfreud

---

Clarification of Answer by pinkfreud-ga on 21 May 2004 17:48 PDT

Here is an interesting article about evasive language in federal mandates:

Mackinac Center for Public Policy: The Language of Federal Mandates
http://www.mackinac.org/article.asp?ID=105

Excellent stuff, thanks!

The article titled "Double Talk" (a little more than halfway down the
page) might be of interest to you:

http://www.sff.net/people/Brian_Plante/archive0102.htm

Here are some good ones:

"Bureaucratic jargon:
 Pentagonese v. English

Frame supported tension structure: Tent

Aerodynamic personnel decelerator: Parachute

Hexiform rotatable surface compressor unit: Nut

Universal obscurant: Smoke

The missile impacted prematurely: The missile crashed

A forcible ejection of the internal bomb components: The bomb blew up

Ambient noncombatant personnel: Refugees

Pre-dawn vertical insertion: Invasion"

http://www.uiowa.edu/~c030001a/pdf/Topic%208%20Bureaucracy.pdf

Tracking these down to official or semi-official sources is something
that will likely take quite a bit of time.

Pinkfreud, that's probably enough for me. If you put this as an
answer, I'll give you the $5.