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Subject:
Domestic Avian Behaviour
Category: Science Asked by: web_bod-ga List Price: $3.00 |
Posted:
01 Jul 2002 07:19 PDT
Expires: 31 Jul 2002 07:19 PDT Question ID: 35460 |
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Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
Answered By: politicalguru-ga on 04 Jul 2002 06:39 PDT Rated: |
Dear Web-Bud, What do you do when you're not sure? Ask Google, right? So I went ahead and asked them - ://www.google.com/search?q=%22why+did+the+chicken+cross+the+road%3F%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 . It gave an amazing 16,300 answers! You didn't except that, huh? 16,300 answers (or sites that provide an answer) to your question. I am not sure the question "is there a god" gets so many answers (okay, I checked: "Is there a God" loses with only 13,900 sites that provide an answer, see ://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=%22is+there+a+god%22). Actually, I think these questions are connected. They are connected to the fact that we're all looking for meaning in this world. After all, it couldn't be that the chicken crossed the road without any meaning and that there is actually no answer to this question, like there could be no answer to the question "what is the meaning of life" (12,800 links, loses both to God and to chickens://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=%22what+is+the+meaning+of+life%22, and that is *after* we KNOW that the answer is 42! see https://answers.google.com/answers/main?cmd=threadview&id=35935). I am not the only person thinking that. Tammy Yap, a Singaporian, thinks just like me. Conclusion I: Chickens are everywhere and are related to everything meaningful or not in or universe. When she tries to answer the question, she thinks about Singaporian politicians and culture. See http://web.singnet.com.sg/~jsbhappy/waste/chickencross_sgp.html The Gay and Lesbian Mormons think just like Tammy and myself - http://www.affirmation.org/chicken.htm - it is part of the great secrets of the universe and connected to ideological, philosophical and cultural views. See also here for the supporters of my theory http://www.romwell.com/humor/Chicken.htm ; and this, where George W Bush tried to solve the mysteries of the universe http://silverscreentest.com/koala/eucalyptus/chicken.jpg What does it mean? The question is also culturally related and depedant. I have two stories about my childhood to demonstrate. The first is the day we found a chicken. We were driving to the town to pick up my brother from the bus station, when we actually spotted, in the industrial area, a chicken (crossing the road of course). Turns up later she was escaping from a slaughter house. Conclusion II: some chickens cross the road to avoid death, although the road itself poses danger to the chickens. The other story is from when I was older and lived in a weird place. It had lots of old Middle Eastern immigrants, and on weekends/fridays I used to see live chickens, in baskets, crossing the road with their owners. No doubt, that the purpose of these chickens was to become a chicken soup, after they crossed the road. Conclusion III - sometimes the purpose of crossing the road *is* death (or soup, depends how you look at it). This (sick) picture demonstrate that the lives of chickens are no joke http://www.cardhouse.com/drcliff/studio/gallery/rk15.htm Some people think the chicken crosses the road to lay eggs. They take the issues seriously as I do http://www.topangamessenger.com/Photos/v25n07/chicken.jpg and the explanation here - http://www.topangamessenger.com/current/views.shtml#candid This is of course purely cultural, since the Brits (or Scotts, in this case) see chickens crossing the way completely different : http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1525000/images/_1527602_joke300.jpg Moreover, in this commercialised time and age, you wouldn't think the poor chickens can escape the economic reality? No. They are also used, and while crossing the road, they sell stuff - http://audiobuilders.com/sound_effects.htm ; http://site109.webhost4life.com/lunchroom/themes/preview/6/996.jpg (pocket PC skin) and http://www.dixiechicken.com/ss.htm None of these answers is what http://www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com/ said. They simplify the issue and turn it into a big joke. Nevertheless, they offers several answers to the question. They have many answers. So many, that there is actually "Fowlest Jokes Of The Month". I hope I helped you. Now I have only one question - what came first, the chicken or the egg? |
web_bod-ga
rated this answer:
well done :) |
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Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: thx1138-ga on 01 Jul 2002 07:39 PDT |
It all depends on who you ask ! DR. SEUSS - Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA - In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. ARISTOTLE - It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX - It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES - I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of a Chicken. EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please? COLONEL SANDERS - I missed one? From: http://search.ngfl.gov.uk/majordomo-html/senco-forum/senco-forum.archive.0104/msg00311.html |
Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: thx1138-ga on 01 Jul 2002 07:52 PDT |
Here are some more theories from some eminent (and not so eminent people) Plato: For the greater good. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD! Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. Douglas Adams: Forty-two. Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you. Oliver North: National Security was at stake. B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will. Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Aristotle: To actualize its potential. Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature. Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence. Salvador Dali: The Fish. Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death. Epicurus: For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it. Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast. David Hume: Out of custom and habit. Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road? Ronald Reagan: I forget. John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity. The Sphinx: You tell me. Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too! Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. Molly Yard: It was a hen! Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side. Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages. Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud. The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that. Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings. Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl. Othello: Jealousy. Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance. Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning. Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph. Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question. Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen. Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior. Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er. Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness. Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter) Hamlet: That is not the question. Donne: It crosseth for thee. Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey. Constable: To get a better view. Taken from: http://eserver.org/philosophy/chicken.txt |
Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: huntsman-ga on 01 Jul 2002 09:15 PDT |
Fortunately, the theories of Charles Darwin and other scientific notables have proven their worth again. The process of natural selection -- cruel to some, inevitably beneficial to others -- has resulted in a new generation of chickens more aware of the inherent dangers of our modern urban environment. Assisted by the convenience of affordable public transportation, these genetically superior chickens have adopted the unique survival strategy of simply waiting. For the bus, that is: Chickens Waiting for the Bus http://www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com/images/chickens-bus.jpg Let us not linger in the uninformed suppositions and futile wanderings of the past, but instead let us look forward to a bright and hopeful future for all chickens. huntsman |
Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: netcrazy-ga on 01 Jul 2002 10:33 PDT |
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? CBS-TV's Andy Rooney I could have said "Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said... President William Jefferson Clinton That depends on how yuh define "road". COBOL Programmers 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING. IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING Hillary Rodham Clinton I don't bake cookies; I don't cook chicken. I am not a crook -- er, I am not a cook. James Carville Because the mean-spirited Republican majority in congress was going to cook the chicken and leave only the sun-bleached bones picked bare for the American people that they'd throw out in the street, Larry! Ayn Rand A chicken's first duty is to itself. And only by living for itself is it able to achieve the things which are the glory of chickenkind. Such is the nature of achievement. A Typical Politically Correct Person Don't blame the chicken! Society is to blame. The chicken did cross the road, but he or she was merely a victim of this racist, bigoted, sexist society. We are all to blame, for failing to provide... [blah, blah, blah -- ad nauseam] The Channel 7 (WSVN, Miami) News Team In a story you will see only on WSVN, a young homeless chicken crosses the road in Citron Beach for the very first time... The orphaned chicken is hit by a speeding car and is thrown sky high... Authorities are still trying to pick up the pieces. At the family's request, the chicken's remains will be used to make chicken soup for the orphaned chicks... This just in... Is OJ's golf game getting worse, now that he's in the custody battle of his life? Tom Leykis I cannot bee-LEEVE that women are SO shocked to hear that the reason the chicken crossed the road is because the rooster was trying to get into her pants! Rush Limbaugh It was having more fun than a chicken should be allowed to have, listening to the Rush Limbaugh program on the EIB network and reveling in its righteousness! Gilligan and the Skipper The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost. Deanna Troi It was experiencing -- GREAT PAIN -- TORMENT! George Bush Read my chicken lips. To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights. Kurt Vonnegut And so it goes -- to the other side. H. Ross Perot No, no, it's not about me, Larry. It's about the chicken. Robert Frost To cross the road less traveled by. Jean Chretien OK, for me, de chicken, 'e crossed de road because 'is team was der, and because 'e 'ad de plan. Bob Dole Bob Dole says "To get to the other side." Sigmund Freud The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the cross walk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich. Bill Gates We own the road. We own the chicken. It's none of your damn business. Western New York Retailers To see the hens in Hens & Kelly's window. Omar Khayam The moving chicken fingers write, and having writ, move on. Moses Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation. Sir Isaac Newton Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road. Plato For the greater good. Pierre de Fermat I just don't have room here to give the full explanation... Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability. Chico Marx Why a duck? Why-a-no chicken? Groucho Marx You try to cross over there a chicken, and you'll find out why-a-no chicken. It's deep water, that's viaduct. WWNN's Adam Clatsoff If you had been hatched where the chicken was hatched, and had been raised where the chicken was raised, and eaten the same chicken feed that the chicken had eaten, you probably would have crossed the road, too. WFTL's Dante DeAngelis Now let me get this straight. You're saying a chicken crossed the road, and now YOU'RE asking ME, "WHY?" Machiavelli So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Captain James T. Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Mr. Spock It seemed like the logical thing to do at the time. Colonel Harlan Sanders It wasn't one of our chickens. They don't have to, because now KFC delivers! Jacques Derrida Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD! Noam Chomsky The chicken didn't exactly cross the road. As of 1994, something like 99.8% of all US chickens reaching maturity that year, had spent 82% of their lives in confinement. The living conditions in most chicken coops break every international law ever written, and some, particularly the ones for chickens bound for slaughter, border on inhumane. My point is, they had no chance to cross the road (unless you count the ride to the supermarket). Even if one or two have crossed roads for whatever reason, most never get a chance. Of course, this is not what we are told. Instead, we see chickens happily dancing around on Sesame Street and Foster Farms commercials where chickens are not only crossing roads, but driving trucks (incidentally, Foster Farms is owned by the same people who own the Foster Freeze chain, a subsidiary of the dairy industry). Anyway, ... Al Bundy It was married... With children! Marcy Jefferson Why do you keep calling me a chicken? Kelly Bundy How do you spell chicken? Thomas de Torquemada Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. Timothy Leary Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. Walter Cronkite That's the way it is. Nietzsche Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you. Oliver North National Security was at stake. B.F. Skinner Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will. Carl Jung The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. Jean-Paul Sartre In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Ludwig Wittgenstein The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road," and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. Albert Einstein Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Aristotle To actualize its potential. Buddha If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature. Howard Cosell It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence. Salvador Dali The Fish. Monty Python The Larch. Douglas Adams Forty-two. Darwin It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Emily Dickinson Because it could not stop for death. Epicurus For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. Johann Friedrich von Goethe The eternal hen-principle made it do it. Ernest Hemingway To die. In the rain. Craig Crossman, host of Computer America To lay hundreds, even thousands, of eggs. Werner Heisenberg We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast. David Hume Out of custom and habit. Saddam Hussein This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. Jack Nicholson 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. Pyrrho the Skeptic What road? President Ronald Reagan Ask Mommy. I forget. John Sununu The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity. The Sphinx You tell me. Henry David Thoreau To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. Senator Edward Moore "Teddy" Kennedy I panicked. Katherine McKinnon Because, in this patriarchial state, for the last four centuries, men have applied their principles of justice in determining how chickens should be cared for, their language has demeaned the identity of the chicken, their technonogy and trucks have decided how and where chickens will be distributed, their science has become the basis for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided the framework for this joke, their art and film have given us our perception of chicken life, their lust for flesh has has made the chicken the most consumned animal in the US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no other recourse. Stephen Jay Gould It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation. Joseph Stalin I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette. Malcolm X It was coming home to roost. Louis Farrakkan It wasn't one chicken, you lying white devils! It was TEN MILLION chickens! Dr. Emmett Brown Road? Where we're going we don't need roads! Technical Writer David H. Citron the author of this page Why do you expect ME to know the answer to this? Who cares? I don't follow celebrity gossip. Why are so many people so concerned about what celebrities and jocks do -- and so uninterested in the really important news, about what the crooks and incompetents do in Washington, the state capital, and the county courthouse? Blah, blah, blah... Mark Twain The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. The above quotes are taken from the page http://www.univox.com/writer/chicken.html Check this funny one too on chicken http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~smann/Humor/chicken.html Enjoy. netcrazy |
Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: pinkfreud-ga on 02 Jul 2002 13:15 PDT |
To get to http://theotherside.com ? (Please excuse my "tongue-in-beak" answer, but $3.00 is a poultry sum, and good researchers should not have to work for chickenfeed.) |
Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: justaskscott-ga on 03 Jul 2002 21:14 PDT |
The view of a thief in the David Mamet film Heist: "You know why the chicken crossed the road? Because the road crossed the chicken." "Caper Crime Film Abounds With 'Verbal Riffs,'" by Matt Wolf, Associated Press Writer (Nov. 22, 2001) Canarsie Courier http://www.canarsiecourier.com/News/2001/1122/Arts_Entertainment/001.html Now that's a double-cross! (lol) ;-) |
Subject:
Re: Domestic Avian Behaviour
From: cobrien-ga on 04 Jul 2002 03:31 PDT |
I'll have to go with the old childhood anser to this: To get to the other side. alternatively: Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To prove to the possum it could actually be done! |
Subject:
why did the chicken cross the road?
From: raxis-ga on 26 Sep 2004 07:29 PDT |
the question and its most common answer of "to get to the other side" are usually considered a joke. But you can also take it deeply and seriously. It can be coupled with the question "if a tree falls down and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" and other such questions that force us to explore our understanding of the universe to a further extent that what we have simply come to accept and take for granted. If we take into account the common answer, with the question, when looking at this question seriously, it could be that the question is not a question but a statement, telling us something. Alltogether, taking this question seriously, it raises simply more questions that force our minds into tangents to seek answers which simply raise even more questions. I personally believe that the chicken crossed the road because there was nothing better to do (including nothing) and you should all ask yourselves if you have anything better to do than to search google for the reason that the chicken crossed the road :P |
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