I suspect that my computer wiz teenage son may be communicating via
email with an adult who is brain washing him but, I have no way of
proving it since he can easily detect any device and/or program I
download into his computer.  Any suggestions of how I can get this
proof?  All I have is the yahoo email address.  I am a worried mother.

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Request for Question Clarification by pafalafa-ga on 09 Jun 2004 07:09 PDT

imapi-ga,

I have two boys myself, not teenagers yet, but I still find I need to
keep an eye on my older fella's internet habits.

One quick thing you can do is a Google search on your son's email
address.  Put the whole thing in quotes:

"his-address@yahoo.com"

and type it into a Google search at:

://www.google.com/

and again at Google Groups:

http://groups.google.com/


If your son has been posting messages (and his email address) in a
public context, these will show up in your search results.

Try this, and let us know what comes of it.  There are certainly other
steps you can take as well, but this strikes me as a quick and easy
first step.

All the best...

pafalafa-ga

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Clarification of Question by imapi-ga on 09 Jun 2004 08:34 PDT

I was asked to clarify my question.  This is the situation.  My son
has been warned that I will remove his computer privelages if I find
anything improper.  He is a computer genius and is able to detect most
spy programs and/or devices.  I do not want to alert him this time
that I am searching for this information.  I have noticed that he is
using a yahoo email address to communicate and not a chat room.  I
already did what was suggested in the comments and the email address
(which is the only hint I have in this case) he is using is not
posted, but greatly appreciate the suggestion.  I am pretty
knowlegeabe in the computer but, the computer is his main thing.
(Wants to become a computer tech).  If I have no other alternative,
then I will remove his computer and have it checked out by an expert. 
However, teenagers are sneaky and I'd rather have him be confident
enough do his thing under my roof rather than under someone elses roof
and not be able to access the info at all.  All I need is proof of
what the other person is sending him so that I can report it and take
away my son's computer.  I don't want to report anyone without having
concrete proof. Thanks.

yes... protend you are the teen and meet up in a chat room and get a
feel of what this person is like... or you can take his computer
away.. your the parent you must take controll of the situation. if you
dont wanna be a comp nazi and take his puter then you can use
spector... havent used it in a long time but i think it runs
"silently" and is hard to detect and uninstall. anyways dont worry to
much the "person" brainwashing your son is probally the internet
itself... porn, umm porn...., really sick porn!!!!!!!!!!

anyways how much of a wiz is he? most adults can barley operate
windows and since little timmy can do that and some more then
naturally timmys mommy thinks his son is a smart little guy... do you
know exactly what your son knows? that might help if you did...
anyways i can direct you to spy programs that im sure he wont be able
to detect/remove

http://www.refog.com/keylogger/ This can record every keyboard entry
made on the computer free and paid versions.This is the type of
program employers use to spy on their employees.Let's hope your
suspicions are unfounded.

Being a fairly advanced computer user myself, I thought I might help
contribute to this solution.

My first suggestion is an expensive one, but perfect with one
exception. A hardware keylogger will capture everything your son types
on the keyboard, and you can review this information later. In doing
this, you will be able to see what he is writing in his emails. An
example of such a device can be found here...
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/5a05/
A hardware keylogger has many advantages over a software keylogger
(which I will get into in a moment), except that if he see's it
connected to the back of his PC, he will know about it instantly. You
can see a picture of what this might look like in action here...
http://spycop.com/keyloggerremoval.htm

There are always software keylogging solutions as well. There is a
problem with using these, however. If the person you are spying on
truely knows what he is doing and keeps close tabs on what is
happening with his computer, he will be able to see newly installed
folders, shortcuts or even executable programs running in the
background that would turn him on to the keylogger. Many of my the
more sophisticated and expensive software keyloggers can actually hide
themselves from the running process list and hide their icons, but
this can be a complicated task to set up for you if you aren't very
computer-savy.

With a software package like Spector (
http://www.spectorsoft.com/products/Spector_Windows/index_B.html ), it
does not show up as an icon, does not appear in the Windows system
tray, does not appear in Windows Programs, does not show up in the
Windows task list, cannot be uninstalled without the Spector password
which YOU specify, and Spector does not slow down the operation of the
computer it is recording.

There is also a very good free solution. It is a free program and
virtually undetecable.
http://www.soft-central.net/keylog.php

It's not clear exactly what your suspicions are, but if you believe
there is a chance that this online relationship involves any kind of
sexual element, please do not try to handle the situation yourself. Go
immediately to the police, the FBI, or both. When strange adults
engage in private online conversations with youngsters by email or in
chatrooms, any number of unpleasant things can result. Law enforcement
agencies are in a position to handle situations involving the
exploitation of minors, and they take such investigations very
seriously.

There are several issues here - only one is technological.  The
product Spector (http://www.spectorsoft.com)is very good - it has been
used by Federal Parole and Probation to monitor probationers'
computers.  It is extremely difficult to circumvent and even that
shows up in the log file.  At app. $100 it is reasonable - depends on
how much you value your peace of mind.

Another issue here is that of exercising authority.  I would suggest
that you tell your teen that you are putting on tracking software (no
need to be specific) ant that you will be monitoring.  If you find
anything "forbidden" or the log file has been tampered with - the
computer goes to an examiner for a full report.  Put him on his honor.
 Make it his problem to comply, not your's to find out.

There are some legal ramifications - did you buy the computer? is he
the sole user?  If it can be proven that it is his, then you are not
legally permitted to monitor.

Other legal issues surface when you have the system examined.  If the
examiner finds contraband - anything illegal to possess - he is
required by law to report his findings to authorities.

Sorry.  Nothing is as easy as it could be.

Regards

These people who want you to use software solutions are taking you in
the wrong direction.  What you need to do is replace your existing
router with a wireless router.  Or, if you don't have a router, just
buy a wireless one from Costco, and add it to your setup.  He will
appreciate that, since it offers more protection from remote attacks
because of the built in hardware firewall.  After that, you need
another computer of your own (or a friend's laptop) and install a
packet sniffer on it to read the packets.  From there, you can
identify what types of packets are sent, and read the information from
within each of them.  The good thing about this is that you do not
need to place ANYTHING onto the computer that he uses, and so he is
less likely to discover wht you are doing, because you will be
communicating with your network wirelessly from another location. 
Make sure that YOU or a friend set up the router, and that only YOU
have the access password to it, that way, he cannot change the
wireless network key or encryption methods on you to prevent you
accessing the network!  BTW, you can find a good packet sniffer on
www.ethereal.com.  There are other ones that offer more functionality
if you need it.  Good luck!

Dear Imapi,

There are services in the industry that can provide you with this
information.  Unfortunately these services are not free, but other
than installing a program to monitor his messenger account (which you
believe he will detect), I see this as your only option?  The URL
below is an example of such a service:

http://www.abika.com/Reports/traceemails.htm

There are several others available, I am sorry but I can not recommend
one service over another?

The messenger application information is available through a cache
file on the system, but you would need immediate access to the system
to obtain this information.  Then it would become a matter of
interpreting the data?  I believe this would be hard for you to
accomplish without you son being aware of your actions?

I hope this helps....

Sincerely....Hard Drive

I just wanted to thank all of you for your comments.  You have all
been extremely helpful!  I greatly appreciate it.  I will be taking
your advice and will look into every suggestion to see which is my
better option.  Thanks again.  I am very pleased.