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Q: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'? ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   4 Comments )
Subject: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'?
Category: Miscellaneous
Asked by: probonopublico-ga
List Price: $2.00
Posted: 25 Jun 2004 06:22 PDT
Expires: 25 Jul 2004 06:22 PDT
Question ID: 366116
Well, according to the Teletext that was why the One Day International
cricket match in Manchester (UK) was abandoned yesterday.

I have visions of Angels falling out and possibly hurting themselves,
especially the older ones who've lost the ability to fly.

I also worry that maybe one might land on my head.

Would that be covered by insurance?
Subject: Re: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'?
Answered By: thx1138-ga on 25 Jun 2004 07:15 PDT
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
Hello again probonopublico.

Assuming that angels actually exist, the answer to your question is
no, you would not be covered by insurance, as angels falling on your
head would be considered an "act of God"

However, should an angel actually fall on your head, you could sue God
as angels are (arguably) employees of his (or hers) Failing that legal
argument, you could always use the argument that God created gravity
and failed to build in sufficient safety mechanisms to prevent falling
angels.  For guidlines on how to start legal proceedings aginst the
Lord, I suggest you watch the film "The Man Who Sued God" reviewed
here by Aunty:

Statistically the chances of being hit by a falling angel are probably
zero and you should be more worried by falling meteorites, for
"A monk is alleged to have been killed by a meteorite in Cremona in
1511, and another monk in Milan in 1650."

For some background information on God you should read:
"Oolon Coluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters: Where God
Went Wrong, Some more of God's greatest Mistakes and Who Is This God
Person Anyway",4,,8,101

Of course, you will have to prove the existence of God so that you can
serve notice on him (or her).  You should be very careful here, see:

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith,
and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It
could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so
therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes
in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that
black is white and gets himself killed at the next zebra crossing.

Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's
kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune
when he used it as the central theme of his best-selling book, 'Well
That About Wraps It Up for God."

Thank you for your question, and if you need any clarification of my
answer, do not hesitate to ask before rating my answer.

Very best regards


Search strategy included
"act of god"

PS. I didn't know that you had lived in Holland!

Request for Answer Clarification by probonopublico-ga on 25 Jun 2004 07:34 PDT
Obrigado and Great to see you again, thx1138.

Please don't let this go any further but you are still my favourite.

So, you didn't know I used to live in Holland? Well, yes, indeedy, for
all of five years!

Now, with regard to your answer, I cannot see how it could be
considered an 'Act of God' because, surely, no God would risk
scattering angels all over the place? (Unless maybe it was a woman
because they can do the strangest things. Would you agree?)

Thanks again anyway for the great stuff already provided.

Or, as they say in Holland 'Merci Beaucoup' which translates into
'Thanks a Bucketful'.

Clarification of Answer by thx1138-ga on 25 Jun 2004 08:05 PDT
Hello again probonopublico :)

Q. (Unless maybe it was a woman because they can do the strangest
things. Would you agree?)

A. Well, actually yes (but don't tell Mrs.THX1138!) Reverse parking a
car springs to mind, everyone knows that it's impossible for a woman
to do it, but they do persist in trying, much to the annoyance of
other motorists.

I'm reminded of that classic Harry Enfield sketch in which he plays Mr
Chomondley-Warner called "Women, know your limits!!!" which terminates
with some excellent advice "WOMEN: FOR PITY'S SAKE, DON'T DRIVE"  You
can see a transcipt of the sketch here:

Right, I'm off to get a textual ear bashing from my female colleagues
for being a male chauvinist pig.

Very best regards

probonopublico-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars and gave an additional tip of: $5.00
Oh dear, I hope you don't get into too much trouble.

Buy yourself a case of Bubbly with a Few Pennies from Heaven.

Subject: Re: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'?
From: thx1138-ga on 25 Jun 2004 08:48 PDT
Hello probonopublico.

Just a note to say thank you for the five stars, and the generous tip!

Have a very nice weekend! (I hear it's sunny but a bit chilly today)

Very best regards

Subject: Re: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'?
From: kemlo-ga on 25 Jun 2004 11:43 PDT
QESTION; How many Angels can dande on probono's head?
Subject: Re: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'?
From: kemlo-ga on 25 Jun 2004 11:44 PDT
Subject: Re: Is it Dangerous when 'the Heavens Open'?
From: probonopublico-ga on 25 Jun 2004 12:36 PDT

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