A lazy reliance on faddish expressions seems to be growing. Most of
them are obviously rooted in pop culture. Fans quickly adopt snippets
of speech popularized by the TV and movie stars they admire or with
whom they enjoy identifying.
How early in our history can one find references to such fadspeak? Is
it more prevalent in English than in other languages? If we look at
eras before the mass transmission of speech--before the age of
radio--how could fadspeak have developed? And with the limited
mobility of folks in those days, how would anyone even be aware that
the use of certain expressions had spread? When we read pre-19th
century novels or documents of those eras, we really have no sense of
how those authors spoke, whether their speech patterns at all
resembled their written prose. Did Shakespeare, for example, say
"hark!" as he walked into his neighborhood pub?
I wrote the following piece of froth to illustrate all of the fadspeak
expressions that have recently come to my otherwise unoccupied mind.
Are there are sites that trace their origins?
Women: can?t live with ?em, can?t live without ?em. Read my lips: If
it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it?s a duck. Now don?t
get all bent out of shape or wrapped around the axle. The bottom line,
dear reader, is that our precious English language is threatened by,
like, you know, fadspeak! Who woulda thunk it?
Since today is the first day of the rest of your life?you do the
math?it?s time you did your part to combat this plague. And don?t say
you couldn?t care less. Wouldn?t you like to give something back, to
make a difference? Though you may think you?re between a rock and a
hard place (as opposed to a pond and a wet place?), just deal with it.
And while you?re at it, you go, girl!
You don?t have to quit your day job to take an interest in curbing
this, you know, assault on our mother tongue. When life gives you
lemons, you know what to do: make lemonade. You got heartburn with
that?
So get with the program. It isn?t rocket science, and I know you
didn?t just fall off the turnip truck. Hey, don?t get me started. Just
think outside the box and remember to connect all those dots.
Wonderful weather we?re having, no? Hot enough for you? And what about
this Iraq war, huh? Still, I?m not going to play the blame game or
point fingers. Let?s just put it all behind us and move forward.
That?s what the American people want to hear.
You wanna piece of me?! In your dreams! OK, bring it on, but be
forewarned that I?m apt to go postal. I?d suggest you not go there,
?cause I?m having an especially bad hair day. So, gimme a break!
Is this a great country or what? That?s a no-brainer if there ever was
one. You got that right! Hey, I know where you?re coming from. But
what?s wrong with this picture? Why don?t you tell me how you really
feel? Knock yourself out. No, I didn?t need to know that. What part of
?no? don?t you understand? Oh, puleeeeze! If you had a brain, you?d be
dangerous.
So, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? Did
you get a snapshot of Booth, as he leaped upon the stage? Surely you
captured that mother of all Kodak moments. OK, I shouldn?t have called
you ?surely.? So, sue me.
I suppose I may have confused you with someone who cares. I must
confess that I?d like to send you in harm?s way, but only on a level
(and diverse!) playing field. I could be your worst nightmare, and
that would just be a wake-up call. (I stayed at a really cheap hotel
the other night; they sent me a wake-up letter.)
At the end of the day our language will survive, but not without some
serious bruising. So, after you?ve been there, done that, gotten the
t-shirt and experienced several senior moments in the process, bite
me!
Now I?m outta here. Yesssssssss! |
