Hello mogsey~
Let me just dig right in.
USEABILITY & FUNCTIONALITY:
Your home page reads: ?In addition, Bluetooth devices are coming of
age?? My immediate thought was ?what?s Bluetooth?? It took a moment or
two for me to realize you had a link explaining this very question.
Consider using more traditional links (in blue and/or underlined), so
that there?s absolutely no confusion.
This whole opening paragraph could be in larger type. I wear glasses,
and I had to strain a bit to read it on my large, high resolution
screen.
I like how the home page breaks the devices into ?categories,?
?types,? and ?brands? for easier searching. (I agree that the choice
should just read ?brands? instead of ?hands-free brands.? *Everything*
here is hands-free.)
I?m so glad you included a buyer?s guide. My only suggestion is to
make this feature more prominent on *all* your pages; as I was reading
the product pages, I kept finding myself thinking: ?If I needed to buy
something like this, I wouldn?t EVEN know where to begin, there are so
many choices!? I?m sure I?m not the only one who?d think this, so
making your buyer?s guide more obvious would be a good thing. In
addition, I agree with the commenter that using pluses and minuses for
the guide might be confusing to some folks. That?s an unusual way to
rate products, so you might stick with something more familiar, like
numbers or stars.
The site has good consistency throughout, and is super-easy to
navigate. The design gives the impression of professionalism, and of a
company that is well thought-out and successful.
BUYER APPEAL:
The home page is clean and modern looking. The matter of colors used
is really one of personal taste. Personally, I like the clean grays,
blacks, and whites. (If your target audience is business people, I
think this will particularly appeal to them.) I also dislike the idea
of (in my opinion) corny photos showing people smiling and using the
products; again, it?s a matter of personal taste.
Happily, it?s immediately clear what the website is for.
It?s great that you have a testimonial on the front page; as your
business grows, I recommend that you make the ?Customer?s Say?
headline a link to more testimonials. In addition, the customer
product reviews, once somebody fills them in, will be an asset.
In addition, it?s great that your guarantee and basic shipping info
are up front and easy to see on the home page. However, I can?t see
what shipping charges would be for itmes under $50--unless I sign in,
apparently. This is a pain, and might make me look elsewhere.
On the product pages, the number and quality of photos is very good.
The ability to have printer friendly product description pages is also
handy. Including the list price, and how much a buyer can save buying
through the website is also great.
I like your slogan, and agree that it could be used more predominantly throughout.
SPELLING, ETC.
This is where the website is weakest?by far. In addition to notes already made:
The homepage:
The opening paragraph has some minor problems: ?Good sense, good
safety, and in some states, the law, say that you should use a hands
free device.? This sentence would be more clear if you removed the
word ?good? from before ?safety.? There is really no such thing as
?good safety.? Something is either safe, or it?s not safe.
?What is exciting is that the latest products?? This is a bit clunky
because ?is? is used twice, close together. How about ?What?s exciting
is??
??are more advanced, more comfortable and easier to use than those we
have used before.? Who is ?we?? How about just ?than those used
before.?
behandsfree.com/drawsignup.aspx:
?Once you are entered we will send you an email?? Put a comma after
?entered.? Actually, that whole sentence is a little hard to
understand. How about: ?Once you?re entered, we?ll send you an email
announcing the winner and also informing you about monthly news and
offers from Be Hands Free.?
?We take your privacy very seriously which is why?? Comma after ?seriously?
?We will also give you the chance to opt out of the draw at any time??
This is a little clunky. How about ?We also give you the opportunity
to opt out of the drawing at any time, and be removed from our mailing
list.?
?After entering your email you will receive...? Comma after ?email?
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WRDHD1006:
?Make work a little less work with this sleek, stylish headset.? This
is a little confusing. Do you mean ?Make work feel a little less like
work??
?Ultimate Sound Quality and Adjustable Fit.
? Noise-canceling microphone reduces background noise.
? Fits either ear with flexible earloop.
? Adjustable boom for voice clarity.
? Microphone Volume switch for optimal voice transmission. ?
In this section, you need to be consistent with your capitalization.
So either do: ?Ultimate Sound Quality and Adjustable Fit,
Noise-Canceling Microphone?? etc. OR do this: ?Ultimate sound quality
and adjustable fit, Noise-canceling microphone?? etc.
.behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WRLCK1003:
?You have full handsfree freedom?? Throughout the website,
?handsfree? should have a hyphen (?hands-free?) OR should be
capitalized as the name of the company (?Handsfree? or ?HandsFree?) OR
have no hyphen and be written as two words (?hands free?).
?You have full handsfree freedom because you can keep your phone in a
case or purse getting into the car and while driving.? This is very
confusing. How about: ?You have full hands-free freedom because you
can store your phone anywhere in the car while driving.?
?It connects to your Bluetooth Car Handsfree without a cable or phone
holder?? ?It? is the car phone? It?s a little unclear.
?Conveniently placed is a five button control panel for you to
activate your phone, control volume, and answer or reject calls.? A
little clunky. How about ?Features a convenient five button control
panel that activates your phone??
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WHEAD1005:
?Talk freely even if your phone is?? Add a comma after ?freely?
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=PINCK1001:
?No wires, no cradle: a high quality handsfree out-of-the-box in two
minutes.? This should read: ?No wires, no cradle: a high quality
hands?free device, ready to be put to work in two minutes.? Or
something similar.
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WRDHD1028:
?With a phone that supports voice dialing, you can place calls while
your hands are freed.? I would prefer something like: ??you can place
calls, and your hands are free to work on other tasks.?
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WHEAD1008:
?Take or make calls all day long on this advanced Bluetooth headset
without any down time.? It sounds like the Bluetooth is the one
without downtime, and I think you really mean: ?Take or make calls all
day long?without any down time?on this advanced Bluetooth headset.?
.behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WRDHD1022:
?The next wave in comfort technology.? This was initially confusing
because the product I?d just looked at (?Jabra EarWave Boom,? listed
immediately before the Jabra EarWave Bud) began with the same
sentence. I would cut the line from one or the other page.
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WRDHD1020:
Similar to the above concern; I would make it more obvious how the
Plantronics M114 differs from the Plantronics M110 , by varying the
text a bit more.
behandsfree.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=WRDHD1007:
The same problem mentioned above (varying the text and making it more
obvious how the Plantronics M130 and the Plantronics M135 are
different), plus
?Make work a little less work with this sleek, stylish headset.? This
is a little confusing. Do you mean ?Make work feel a little less like
work??
behandsfree.com/buyingguide.aspx:
?There are many factors to consider when purchasing your hands free
device. When it comes down to it, you have to figure out what is the
best option for your needs but this buying guide will help you
understand the key differences between the different types of
devices.? I think you could phrase this better. How about: ?There are
many factors to consider when purchasing your hands?free device. To
help you decide what will best suit your needs, take a look at our
Buyer?s Guide.?
?They are... devices that are installed (usually by a professional)
into your car with many of the wires running behind the dash enabling
almost all of it to be hidden from view.? This is less clunky, I
think: ??into your car, with the wires running behind the dash?mostly
hidden from view.?
? They are inconsipuous, easy to use and give very good voice and
listening quality.? Since most people will be listening to voices, how
about ??very good sound quality? ?Inconsipuous? should be spelled
?inconspicuous?
?It is true that they are not as neat and elegant because they are
usually plugged into your cigarette lighter but their voice and sound
quality is good.? I think this would be more clear: ?It?s true they
aren?t as neat and elegant (because they?re usually plugged into your
car?s cigarette lighter), but their sound quality is good.?
?They also have the advantange? Note the spelling: advantage
?They do need to be kept charged and early adopters in 2002 / 2003
would have found the talk time shorter than that of their phone, but
newer models are much improved and offer up to 8 hours.? This is very
confusing. Do you mean: ?They do need to be kept charged; early users
(2002-2003) discovered the talk time was shorter than that of their
phone, but newer models upper up to 8 hours of talk time.?
??if you have a bluetooth phone and like the simplicity of not having
too deal with wires,? It should read ?to? not ?too.? Bluetooth should
be capitalized.
? They now come in all shapes and sizes, are well designed (i.e. they
will tend to not fall off/out of your ear!)? I think this is more
clear: ??are well designed (they?re not as apt to fall out of your
ear!)??
?The difference in prices tends be down to the quality of voice/sound
you want to pay for?? How about ?The differences in price are
attributed to the sound quality of each unit.?
.behandsfree.com/thelaw.aspx:
?In 2001 New York was the first state to pass a law prohibiting the
use of a cell phone when driving unless you are using a hands free
device.? Comma or dash after ?driving?
?In the period up to April 2004 ?? How about ?In the period leading
to April 2004??
?In the pursuit of safety (and no doubt a few extra dollars to bolster
empty coffers) it was inevitable that more states would follow and in
July 2004 New Jersey and DC were next to adopt similar laws? Comma
after the info in paragraphs. Add a dash after ?follow,? or make the
section after ?follow? into a new sentence.
?However the United States is behind?? Comma after ?however?
?However the United States is behind the rest of the world on this and
needs to catch up - 45 other developed nations already have bans in
place? I think this is more clear: ?Nonetheless, the rest of the world
is ahead of The United States in this regard; 45 other developed
nations already have bans in place.?
behandsfree.com/safety.aspx:
?Common sense tells us that it must be safer to have two hands on the
wheel compared to one on the wheel and one holding a phone.? I think
this is more clear: ?Common sense tells us that it?s more safe to have
two hands on the wheel, instead of one hand holding a phone and
another driving the vehicle.? OR ??.two hands on the wheel, instead of
one on the wheel and one holding the phone.?
?Were we not told when we were learning to drive that we should always
have two hands on the wheel?? I think you can cut this sentence, but
if you like it, I?d rephrase it to something like this: ?When we were
learning drive, didn?t the DMV booklet instruct us to have two hands
on the wheel??
?However recent studies show?? Comma after ?however.?
?However recent studies show that it is no safer to use a hands free
device than just hold the phone to your ear.? Some problems here; how
about ?Still, recent studies suggest it?s just as safe to hold an
ordinary phone as it is to use a hands-free device.?
?To give you sense of the magnitude of the problem ? during?? Use a
comma, not a dash
?There is some debate on whether using a hands free device is safer??
?More safe? is more correct :)
?There are studies that say that the phone conversation itself is the
distraction and it produces a kind of "tunnel vision" in the driver
and they take in a lot less than they see.? How about ?Some studies
suggest that the phone conversation itself is the real
distraction?that it produces a kind of ?tunnel vision? where the
driver ?takes in? much less than what they see.?
?Of course this is a moot point?? Comma after ?of course?
?It seems crazy that states would not implement legislation - surely
some improvement in safety is better than none.? This combined with
the comments about ?coffers? earlier is starting to give a
less-professional impression. Personally, I would cut this sentence.
Or rephrase it: ?Legislation seems to make sense: some improvement in
safety is surely better than none.?
?We don't disagree but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't adopt good
sense and legisaltion for cell phone use.? Comma after ?disagree.?
And it?s ?legislation.?
behandsfree.com/aboutus.aspx:
?We at Be Hands Free, like most people, only have one pair of hands
each.? A little clunky. How about ?Like most people, we at Be Hands
Free only have two hands apiece.? OR ?Like most people, those of us at
Be Hands Free only have two hands apiece.?
?Also like most people we move around a lot and do a lot of talking,
often at the same time. ? Comma after ?people? Dash after ?talking?
?And since we are also rational people we?? Comma after ?people?
?We see the sense of this and we hope you do to!? I would cut this.
It?s unnecessary, and might possibly be offensive.
?In the past we have been frustrated?? Comma after ?past?
?The earpieces that dangled from your ear seemed to spend more time
hanging off your shoulder than in your ear and then you had to hold
them to your mouth when you spoke so people could hear you (really
defeated the purpose!).? I think this can be more clear: ?The
old-style earpieces seemed to spend more time hanging off your
shoulder than they did in your ear?and then you needed an extra hand
to hold them to your mouth so people could actually hear you. (Kinda
defeats the purpose!)? or something similar.
?The old installed car-kits would only work with one make or model of
phone and therefore were obsolete within a year.? Cut ?would? so that
it reads ?The old installed car-kits only worked with one make or
model??
?And of course there was the most used hands free device (and probably
the most dangerous) of them all - the shoulder..? How about ?Of
course, there was always the most-used (and probably most dangerous)
hands free device: the shoulder.?
?This all made for an uncomfortable experience that was often not much
safer than holding the thing to your ear? Again, ?more safe? instead
of ?safer? You might consider: ?This all made for an uncomfortable
experience that was often less safe than holding a phone to your ear?
?The good news is that hands free devices have evolved considerably
over the last couple of years to the point where they are now
practical and safe!? Dash after ?years?
?Which is just as well because good safety, new legislation and
increasing amounts of lawsuits will push us all towards using hands
free devices as a matter of course. ? See my ?good safety? notes,
above.
?The US lags the rest of the world in passing legislation banning the
use of a cell phone while driving if you are not using a hands free
device.? A confusing sentence. How about something like ?The U.S. lags
behind much of the world in passing legislation banning the use of
cell phone while driving?unless a hands-free device is being used.?
? However it is only a matter of time until more follow the couple of
states that have already passed laws.? Comma after ?however?
?In late 2003 we saw all these factors coming together and we also saw
the need for a site that offered a lot more for the consumer than what
was already out there? Comma after ?2003? I would make this two
sentences: ?In late 2003, we saw all these factors coming together; we
also saw the need for a business that provided consumers with a wider
variety of options??
?Be Hands Free's President is from the UK where hands free devices are
the norm, not the exception, and he brings this unique perspective to
our business.? Comma after ?UK.? You need two sentences here. ??.not
the exception. He brings this unique?? I would cut this line. I don?t
think it adds much, and some American consumers might prefer to buy
from another American ? Not that we don?t like Brits, mind you!
?Be Hands Free is dedicated to providing the most informative resource
on the web with the widest range of hands free devices, all at great
prices. We do this in a manner where you, our customer, will be
pleased (not just satisfied) every time you contact us. ? This is a
bit cluttered. How about: ?Be Hands Free is dedicated to providing you
with information, great prices, and the widest range of hands-free
devices available anywhere. We want you to be satisfied every time you
contact us.?
.behandsfree.com/pressroom.aspx:
?Be Hands Free, LLC, is dedicated to providing the most informative
resource on the web with the widest range of hands free devices, all
at great prices. ? See my comments above.
behandsfree.com/bluetooth.aspx:
?Because most of the major manufacturers have implemented it in their
products it has achieved widespread acceptance and adoption.? Add a
comma after ?products?
?In the world of cellphones there are currently 2 common ways that it
is used:- ? ?Cell phones? is two words; comma after ?cell phones.?
Also, make sure you have a colon after the last word.
? ?Firstly as a way to wirelessly connect to a hands free device (e.g
headset or car-kit)
? Secondly to connect to a PC (or similar) to synchronize data such as
contacts and calendar items ? Commas after ?firstly? and ?secondly? I
would write it: ?Firstly, as a way to connect?wirelessly?to a?? Also,
you need to include the word ?something? between ?or? and ?similar?
Comma after ?data?
?First of all you have to turn on Bluetooth which is usually done?
Comma after ?all? and ?Bluetooth?
??to connect with each other which is ususally accomplished by
"pairing" the two devices? A comma or dash after ?each other.? And
it?s ?usually?
?Once that is done you can easily ask "paired" devices to connect?
Comma after ?done?
?For some phones this is a one-time excercise - Bluetooth will remain
"on" and everytime you are within range of one of your own "paired"
Bluetooth devices they will connect.? Comma after ?phones.? ?Every
time? is two words. It?s ?exercise.? Comma after ?devices.? This
sentence is a little confusing. How about: ?With some phones, this is
a one time exercise; Bluetooth will remain ?on? and each time you?re
within range of one of your ?paired? Bluetooth devices, they will
connect.?
?Each phone will work slightly differently however they are all fairly
simple to setup and use (especially when compared to the settings for
email or web access!)? A little grammatical problem. How about: ?Each
phone works a little differently; however, they are all??
?In the future it is envisioned that most cars will be shipped with
Bluetooth? Comma after ?future?
?Beyond that there are a whole bunch of ways that we will use
Bluetooth in the future, many of which are not close to being
unleashed on us, the normal Joe or Joan in the street.? Comma after
?Beyond that.? You might consider being a bit more formal, too:
?Beyond that, there are many way we will use Bluetooth in the future.?
I would cut the rest of the sentence.
?Bluetooth was designed to be a very low consumer of power and one of
the consequences of that is that it has a range of around 30 feet? A
little confusing. How about: ?Bluetooth was designed to use very
little power; therefore, it has a ??
?However this is sufficient for use in the world of cell phones? Comma
after ?however?
Overall, I really like the website; it?s easy to use, attractive, and
will be easy to understand once the spelling and grammar changes are
made. Good luck with your business!
Regards,
Kriswrite |
