I need a native English speaker to check if this statement has any
grammar mistakes or some sentences not understandable. I am very poor
so I cannot pay much. However, your help will be highly appreicated.

Personal STATEMENT - 

Background
I was born and raised in Tainan City, Old Capital of Taiwan, graduated
in 1997 from xxxx university with a Bachelor of Science degree in
Finance and graduated from xxx  University in 2002 with Master of
Science in Information Systems.
After I graduated from schools, I have developed myself in language
learning technology Products for little kids, age from zero to five
years old. I have utilized what I learned from schools - Internet
technology with langue learning.

Probably because I studied in US when I was 19. At that time, I didn?t
speak any English. I had a period of hard time. In that period met
many good teachers who don?t only help me with langue learning, but
also help me with self-esteem. Therefore, I always wanted to be a good
teacher, just like one of my teachers, in English as a second language
after I came back to Taiwan to students in Taiwan. After I came back
to Taiwan, I have taught English part-time in various centers. My
students include seniors, adults, and children. Since I have my own
daughter, I started to expand my career to little kids from zero to
five years old.

Reasons for Wanting to Attend University of xxxx
I have done some researches before I applied for University of xxx.
I?ve learned University of xxx has one of very best records for
teaching quality in UK and known that the School of Education is an
award-winning school. The program is designed to meet the need for
professional educators in many parts of the world. Moreover, I believe
the taught courses with individual supervised these will enable me to
develop an in-depth understanding of specific topics related to my
work. During my graduate school, I worked with professors as a
graduate assistant. By doing researches with professors, I found
myself enjoyed doing researches and wish I could be a researcher one
day.
Projected Research Topics
?	The impact of English only curriculum for kindergarten students in
English as a second language countries
From this year, Taiwanese government prohibit kindergarten to teach
English to little kids. Some researches said that when kids learn
English at their early age, they would be confused with their mother
language- Chinese. Since in Taiwan, Chinese is still an only language
used in elementary school education. If kids don?t have good
foundations with Chinese, they will be frustrated with some other
subjects such as Math which is taught in Chinese. Some researches
claimed that English learning has nothing to do with their Chinese
learning. Good English ability will give these kids more confidences
in school, which tend to lead students high performance in the
elementary schools. Therefore, for my research that I would like to
explore how the English only curriculum in kindergarten will influence
students in their elementary schools.

Hello netnerd-ga,

Please accept my compliments on your personal statement. For a 
non-native English speaker, I think you?ve done very well in 
presenting your thoughts. I?m quite certain I could not do half so 
well in Chinese! However, as you know, the statement as written will 
benefit from some editing and polishing. As you asked, I am a native 
English speaker and skilled in the use of my native language.

Below is an edited version of your statement. I have tried correct the 
errors in usage and structure, while staying faithful to the meaning 
of your original, and not adding anything extra. But if I have 
misunderstood your meaning anywhere, or if you are unhappy with any of 
the editing for any other reason, then please consider this a 
preliminary draft, and use the Request for Clarification feature to 
ask for further help before rating and closing your question. I 
understand this is important to you, and I?m willing to work with you 
to be sure you?re happy with the final result.

Best wishes,
Byrd-ga


Background

Born and raised in Tainan City, Old Capital of Taiwan, I graduated in 
1997 from XXXX University with a Bachelor of Science (BS) degree in 
Finance, followed in 2002 by a Master of Science in Information 
Systems (MIS)from XXXX University.

Since graduation, I have continued to work to further develop my 
professional knowledge and skills, combining what I have learned about 
Internet technology with language learning, and expanding into the 
areas of learning technology and products for children from birth to 
age five,

My interest in the field of language comes from my personal experience 
as a young student studying in the U.S. where, because I spoke no 
English, I had a very difficult time in the beginning. However, I met 
many good teachers, who helped me not only to improve my language 
skills, but also my confidence and self-esteem. It was they who 
inspired me to want to become a teacher as well, to help others as 
they helped me. I especially looked forward to teaching English as a 
Second Language when I returned to Taiwan.

Since my return to Taiwan, I have taught English part-time at various 
centers, to students ranging in age from children to adults to seniors.
 In addition, the birth of my daughter has given me an incentive to 
expand my interest and career to include very small children, from 
birth to age five.

Reasons for Wanting to Attend University of XXXX

I am especially interested in attending University of XXXX because of 
its excellent reputation for academic quality. In particular, I am 
impressed with the School of Education as an award-winning school, 
known for its program designed to meet the needs of professional 
educators from various backgrounds and countries. Moreover, I believe 
that the courses offering individual supervision will be especially 
helpful in enabling me to develop an in-depth understanding of 
specific topics related to my work.

Also, as I discovered  in graduate school, while working on research 
projects with my professors as a Graduate Assistant, I enjoy the 
process of research and have entertained the ambition to become a 
researcher. I welcome the opportunity to further pursue that ambition 
at University of XXXX.

Projected Research Topic

Impact of English-only Curriculum on Kindergarten Students in English 
as a Second Language 

Beginning this year, the Taiwanese government has prohibited the 
teaching of English to elementary students on the basis of some 
research results, which have indicated that if children are taught 
English at an early age, they might become confused in using their 
mother language, in this case Chinese. It is believed that if children 
do not receive a good foundation in Chinese, they will have difficulty 
learning other subjects, such as mathematics, which are taught only in 
Chinese.

On the other hand, some other research has concluded that learning 
English has nothing to do with learning Chinese, and that acquiring 
skills in English at an early age will give young students more 
confidence, which in turn will lead to higher performance throughout 
elementary school.

Therefore, I would like to focus my research on further exploration of 
how an English-only curriculum for kindergarten students might affect 
their overall learning in the elementary grades.

Thank you for your editing. Your reply is much better than I
expected.. My sister also need someone to edit her statement. I willl
upload her statement in these two days, please help us with your
editing and polishing again.

Dear netnerd-ga

Thank you very much for your kind words and five-star rating. I'm so
glad you were pleased with the revision! I'd be very happy to help
your sister as well. If you'd like to request me specifically, you may
address the question to me in the subject line, e.g. "For Byrd-ga" and
my colleagues will respect that. But if not, that's fine too, as there
are many competent Researchers who could help you as well.

Warmest regards,
Byrd-ga

Hi byrd-ga-
I am wondering if you or someone you know would be interested in being
a translator for me while I am in Tainan in the second part of
February 2005.
I will take a class for 10 days, 6 hours a day.  I am not from a
company and no company is paying for this trip/class, which means I am
just a regular person.  The translation would be so I understand what
the instructors are saying, it does not involve any specialiazed terms
or language.  I would appreciate it if you'd let me know if you are
interested or if you know somebody -- also what you would consider
appropiate pay.  Thank you, you can email me directly at
bookworm9@optonline.net.
Alin