First, a warning: this question is of a personal, rather than
academic, nature, but I'll try to handle the answer in a dignified way
whatever it is.

When you have a nagging but mild suspicion that a dead family member
might actually have been murdered, what are the steps to take to lay
the suspicions to rest?

NOTE: I am talking about finding out as much truth as possible, not
counseling resources, which I am already using, thank you; also, I
have successfully pushed this to the back of my mind all this time,
but that's no longer tenable for me psychologically, even though I
realize that practically speaking that would be the best way to go. 
Specifically, I would like information on exhumation-autopsies and
their validity for someone who has been embalmed, as well as if
there's some kind of national counseling resource (not mental health,
but practical support and advice); and what are typical police
procedures for this kind of very vague suspicion (I'm guessing they'd
laugh you off the phone, but hey...).

I need information specifically relevant to the US, Massachusetts if
possible, in the case of a sudden, unexpected death at home, that was
not investigated (no autopsy, no examination of the body by a
physician, death out of hospital, medical examiner declined
jurisdiction--which is misspeaking slightly since we haven't really
had a medical examiner in Mass for the last few years), and a death
that was about 15 months ago; but with new (but not earth-shattering)
reasons to suspect other family members, plus the discovery that the
body was never looked at by a physician.

Personal drivel:

It seems there should be a clear step for this, but it eludes me.  I
don't have enough evidence to go to the police (I'm 85-95% sure the
death was natural; it's the 5-15% that keeps me up at night),
especially since the suspicious parties are my own family members, yet
I still can't sleep at night, especially knowing that my 88yo
grandmother and 14 year old cousin are living with the man who would
have been responsible.

Do the police field questions like this?  

They were so disinterested when he died, I doubt they'd care now,
except that I never shared my suspicions at the time.  In Mass. having
a low homicide rate is just more important than actually being sure
you aren't having any homicides.

Thank you for your time.

---

Clarification of Question by whazzup-ga on 04 Aug 2004 15:19 PDT

Thank you both of you for your interest and concern, and for everyone
else who avoided posting a snap answer to a post that was written at
4am in not the best mental state.

I'm cancelling my question because I have gotten in contact with a
bereavement group that looks like it will provide some answers.  Also,
it turns out that there is no such group as the one I am looking for,
so I may have been sending you guys on a wild goose chase.  Still, if
you get another question like this, the following group can probably
help:

The Homicide Survivors' Project, even though it's not geared for this
kind of answer, has given me some invaluable insights and has promised
to research support groups that might provide a fit.  Their number is
877-338-3411.

As for legal options, per their suggestion, I'm going to contact the
Attorney General when they reopen since they have a lot of info on
navigating the system.

Criminal lawyers are really for defendants, and besides, it would be
on top of the big expense of the exhumation autopsy (all told, in the
$4-7000 ballpark).

This site can provide info on autopsies and exhumation: www.1800autopsy.com

This document has info on how unexpected deaths are usually handled:
http://www.rethink.org/publications/pdfs/Sudden-death.pdf

Thank you.

Surely a death certificate from a physician is necessary to finalise
the deceaced persons worldly affairs, such as insurance policies,
etc.,?

First of all, let me just note that if your beliefs about what happens
to you after you die is derived from common sense, what is standard
practice in other countries or in this country decades ago (back when
goverment agencies had actual funding), and crime dramas etc. (as was
the case with me when this happened), you'll be a little shocked at
what's now considered standard practice by those in authority these
days.

I'm not looking for a review of my story, I'm looking for resources
for survivors of loved ones who died under unclear circumstances and
who want to clarify those circumstances.

Of course there was a death certificate, but that means nothing.  As
often happens (at least in Massachusetts), the doctor who made out the
death certificate had never actually seen the deceased (though he was
a supervisor for a nurse practicioner who had seen him once, but not
for a thorough examination), and he did not look at the body--fairly
standard, though not so standard in the case of someone dying
unexpectedly outside a hospital.

Meanwhile, the death certificate was not filled out in accordance with
guidelines set out by the CDC, the Medical Examiners' organizations,
the AMA, etc.  Essentially, he just put down myocardial infarction
without explaining how he came to that conclusion.  I have tried to
contact the doctor, politely, through a letter and through
intermediaries (I can't bear to meet with him in person; I don't know
what I'll say), but he hasn't responded.  However, my contact in his
clinic did confirm that he had not in fact examined the body (I think
he's probably a little guilty about that, which is why he's not
answering me, though I have to give him credit for telling the truth
to the nurse practitioner I had approach him).  Nor had he seen the
deceased while alive, a fact borne out by the medical records.

Essentially it appears the funeral director called this doctor up and
demanded a signed death certificate quickly, and the doctor
complied--nothing terribly unusual about that, at least not here,
though in the case of an unexpected death at home, it's not exactly
kosher either.

Would you be willing to pay for an exhumation and an autopsy?  You
really should be discussing your options with a local criminal lawyer
in your area to find out what the law actually permits.