In the years 1996 and 1997, the World Wrestling Federation (now called
World Wrestling Entertainment) put on their own version of an awards
show, called the Slammy Awards, or the Slammies.  Each of the two
years, the show was begun by a musical number performed by Todd
Pettingill.  These songs mentioned several WWF superstars with
"humorous" remarks.  Some of the lyrics I remember ("He's the sexiest
thing to ever step in a ring" for Shawn Michaels, "He's the only man
man enough to wear pink" for Bret Hart, "Big Daddy don't need no
friendships, he don't need no one at all" for Big Daddy Cool Diesel).
I cannot remember the full lyrics for either year's song.  I am
looking for the full lyrics to the 1997 Slammy Awards show's beginning
song.

(There is a seperate question open for the 1996 lyrics)

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Clarification of Question by mr_itty-ga on 14 Jul 2002 14:09 PDT

All the lyrics listed above were actually from the 1996 show.  Some of
the lines from the 1997 show were:
McMahon's got plenty of nuts!  Ted Turner don't!
Hunter when you two get silly, which one of you has got the willy?
Owen Hart and the Bulldog.  They can't get along.  Davey says the
earth's round, Owen says he's wrong.

I had a problem getting this in the "Answer" space but here is what
could be the lyrics to the 1997 WWF Slammy Awards.  They may not be
100% correct but here's what I can give you:

McMahon's got plenty of nuts! Ted Turner don't!
You'll see the Superstars, those guys here tonight
Ladies and gentleman it's the 1997 Slammy Awards!
Are you ready to go?!
Get on your feet and have some fun 'cause I say
It's Slammy time on USA

Are you hearing voices?
One man thought he did
Though it's not uncommon
When you're Psycho Sid

Rocky meets the Sultan!
For the Intercontinental gold
Nothing rhymes with Sultan
So let's sing about the guy Stone Cold

He is Stone Cold Steve Austin
A man who's really mean
If he's got a nice side
Then it's one we've never seen
He still beating up his brother
And hangs the phone up on his mother
He's feared from Cali to Boston
Steve Austin!

You want your heart broke?
Go see this kid
He's Shawn Michaels
No friend of Sid
How you doing Shawn? 
We want you back
And that lady wants you in the rack *unsure*
Will you moon the crowd once again?
Tell us please Shawn Michaels, tell us please!

Sunny! 
Oh how'd you get your pants to fit so tight?
Sunny!
Is the left one bigger than the right?
When you walk in the room
I can feel the earth tip
Tell me honestly Sunny do you miss that Skip?
Oh Sunny, we love you!

Owen Hart and the Bulldog
They can't get along
Davie says the Earth is round
Owen says he's wrong
Yesterday we caught them fightin' over Donkey Kong

He's got a black cape
A black beard
He's from the dark side 
So he's kind of weird
He once shut up and...
Let me just say what the people say
He's six feet under from the creatures of the night
Everyone is crazy 'bout the 'Taker man

Do that funky dance, now Flash Funk
Waiting for a booty call
Do that funky dance, now Flash Funk

Burger King!
Your attitude is Whopper size
Burger King!
How can you wrestle and still be *crowned* (unsure)

Farooq! You changed your name
Why did you have to go?
And form that Nation 
With that Crush and Savio
You domination tag team what's up with that?
You won't scare anyone with that goofy hat!

Excellence of Execution
Bret returned and where has Shawn gone?
Brother Owen better get going 
'Cause the Hitman's number one

They come from California
Straight from the movie set
I said Goldust was straight 
And won a hundred dollar bet
They can give you any line
From any single movie
They're from Cali
They're Goldust and Marlena

They've been gone for a while
But now they're back
They're Legion of Doom
Their spikes are in the back

Oh! Everywhere I go
People want to know
What the heck is up with Vader
Dog collar fits in place
Right over his face
What's up with Vader?

Ahmed Johnson tell me 'cause I wonder why
How come your neck's thicker than Doc Hendrix's thigh?!

I saw you in an interview with 'ole J.R.
I bet that you can stuff him in a mixing jar

Hunter and his new girl Chyna
Looking pumped and mighty fine-a
But in a match, I bet that she can win
Hunter when you two get silly
Which one of you has got the willy?
Don't answer that, I guess I don't need to know

So sit on back and relax
Because you know!
The Slammy TV show
Is set to go!