A song from the 1930s. Begins: "I wish I were a rhinossoriacus" (or
close to that). Several verses, different animals. Each verse then
says: "But as I am not, alas I cannot be a etc, etc."
Should be in one of The Yale Song Books

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Request for Question Clarification by pinkfreud-ga on 07 Sep 2004 16:27 PDT

Is this your song?

I wish I were a Elephant
And could pick off the coconuts with my nose.
But, oh ! I am not,
Alas! I cannot be an Elephant.

But I?m a cockroach,
And I?m a water bug,
I can crawl around and hide behind the sink.

I wish I were a hippopotamus
And could swim the Tigris and the broad Ganges.
But oh! I am not,
Alas! I cannot be a hippopotamus

But I?m a grasshopper
And I?m a katydid;
I can play the fiddle with my lefty hind leg.

I wish I were a Rhinoceros
And could wear an ivory toothpick in my nose
But oh! I am not
Alas! I cannot be a Rhinoceros

But I am a beetle
And I?m a pumpkin bug;
I can buzz and bang my head against the wall.

http://www.anilaa.com/Life_iwishiwere.html

Here is a variant:

«I wish I were a / Elephantiaphus / And could pick off the coconuts
with my nose. / But, oh! I am not / (Alas! I cannot be) / An
Elephanti- / Elephantiaphus. / But I' m a cockroach / And I'm a
water-bug, / I can crawl around and hide behind the sink.»

        «I wish I were a / Rhinosceréeacus / And could wear an ivory
toothpick in my nose. / But, oh! I am not / (Alas! I cannot be) / A
Rhinoscori- / Rhinosceréeacus. / But I'm a beetle / And I' m a
pumpkin-bug / I can buzz and bang my head against the wall»

        «I wish I were a / Hippopopotamus / And could swim the Tigris
and the broad Gangés. / But, oh! I am not / (Alas! I cannot be) / A
hippopopo- / hippopopotamus. / But I'm a grasshopper / And I' m a
katydid, / I can play the fiddle with my left hindleg.»

http://www.armiarma.com/andima/garz/garz0417.htm

Please let me know if this is a satisfactory answer. I have found the
name of the song's composer, but haven't been able to locate sheet
music or a songbook containing the song.

---

Clarification of Question by saint76-ga on 07 Sep 2004 18:18 PDT

Good job! It's the variation I am looking for but appreciate both
versions. If you have the name of the composer I would appreciate it.
I can get along without the sheet music because I can recall the tune.
In short, thanks very much. The speed of your response is impressive
but even more so is your taking the time to find a variation.

I'm glad to have been able to find your song's lyrics. I am reposting
the material, with the addition of the composer's name.

I wish I were a Elephant
And could pick off the coconuts with my nose.
But, oh ! I am not,
Alas! I cannot be an Elephant.

But I?m a cockroach,
And I?m a water bug,
I can crawl around and hide behind the sink.

I wish I were a hippopotamus
And could swim the Tigris and the broad Ganges.
But oh! I am not,
Alas! I cannot be a hippopotamus

But I?m a grasshopper
And I?m a katydid;
I can play the fiddle with my lefty hind leg.

I wish I were a Rhinoceros
And could wear an ivory toothpick in my nose
But oh! I am not
Alas! I cannot be a Rhinoceros

But I am a beetle
And I?m a pumpkin bug;
I can buzz and bang my head against the wall.

Anila Ambreen: Forgotten Paradise
http://www.anilaa.com/Life_iwishiwere.html

A variant:

«I wish I were a / Elephantiaphus / And could pick off the coconuts
with my nose. / But, oh! I am not / (Alas! I cannot be) / An
Elephanti- / Elephantiaphus. / But I' m a cockroach / And I'm a
water-bug, / I can crawl around and hide behind the sink.»

        «I wish I were a / Rhinosceréeacus / And could wear an ivory
toothpick in my nose. / But, oh! I am not / (Alas! I cannot be) / A
Rhinoscori- / Rhinosceréeacus. / But I'm a beetle / And I' m a
pumpkin-bug / I can buzz and bang my head against the wall»

        «I wish I were a / Hippopopotamus / And could swim the Tigris
and the broad Gangés. / But, oh! I am not / (Alas! I cannot be) / A
hippopopo- / hippopopotamus. / But I'm a grasshopper / And I' m a
katydid, / I can play the fiddle with my left hindleg.»

Literatur Aldizkarien Gordailua: Haur liburutto bat egin ezazu 
http://www.armiarma.com/andima/garz/garz0417.htm

The name of the song is "Elephantiaphus." It was written by Cecil
Armstrong Gibbs, as noted here:

"Cecil Armstrong Gibbs 1889-1960... Elephantiaphus" 

St. Louis Chamber Chorus: 45th Annual Season, 2000-2001
http://www.chamberchorus.org/seasons/45.html

This is the Google search string that led me to the two versions of the song:

Google Web Search: "i wish I were" + "alas i cannot be"
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=%22i+wish+I+were%22+%22alas+i+cannot+be%22

Thanks for an enjoyable question! I hope this is helpful. If anything
is unclear, or if a link doesn't work for you, please request
clarification; I'll be glad to offer further assistance before you
rate my answer.

Best regards,
pinkfreud

This researcher was fast, very helpful, and accurate. He certainly
went the extra mile and deserves far more of a tip than I can afford
to give him. This was an enjoyable project but not one of great
importance. I would hope to get the same person on a future search.

Thank you very much for the kind words, the five stars, and the generous tip!

~pinkfreud

Saint76, Ms. Pink is one of the stars in the GA firmament.  She has
many happy customers, for reasons you've just seen.  You can post a
question with a researcher's name on it and that person will see it.

Archae0pteryx
(another satisfied customer)

How stupid of me to assume that pinkfreud was a man. I do apologize to
Ms Pink and would assure her that I have always thought women were
better than men at just about anything. And I speak from long
experience in being able to assess the two. Thanks again to Ms Pink;
I'll have to dream up some more questions!