Oh it gets much better than this, here are the details:
In 1994, I was in 10th grade, living in New Jersey, I was 16 years
old. At work I met this girl who was 20 years old that I started to
date. She was a good 2 years out of high school, but still living at
home. I soon found out she was a high school dropout, heavily
disturbed, in and out of mental homes, on all kinds of medication, and
had been sexually permissive with an unknown number of men ranging
from my young age to men in their 50's.
She wound up taking my virginity; as a matter of fact she was the
first girl I had even so much as kissed. Well - one day she told me
she was pregnant from a home test kit. This came as quite a shock to
me because being I was so naive and young, she led me to believe she
couldn?t get pregnant if we had sex at certain times of the month or
even certain times of the day. I honestly don't remember what I was
thinking except hoping and even expecting that she was lying or the
baby was from someone else. Well she broke up with me soon after this
discovery one night, and I never heard from her ever again. I had
already quit my minimum wage job and I didn't call her ever again. My
family dismissed the so-called pregnancy as a load of crap and life
Well I graduated high school, moved to Connecticut to go to college,
graduated with a B.S. degree, moved across country to California, and
met my current fiancÚ. I now have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter, a
decent job, and I?m enrolled in school to receive my master?s degree.
Well, in October of 2003, I received a letter from the state of New
Jersey. It was a letter requesting my appearance at a hearing for
child support for my 8-year-old son in New Jersey. Problem is, I was
never told he was born and did not know that he even existed!
Well I figured this was some kind of joke, but I did recognize the
mothers name as my first gf. I took a blood test and when it came
back positive I nearly lost my head.
I have been paying child support for this boy since February of 2004.
The arrears of the account, which collected during from October 2003
to February 2004, amounted to over $1500. This has been reported to
the crediting agencies and has such DESTROYED my good credit. I am
ordered to pay a % of this every week along with the current support
until it reaches zero.
I still have yet to meet the boy. As a matter of fact, she still
lives at home with the grandmother. Interestingly enough, soon after
I was ordered to pay support, she chose to leave home and move in with
some boyfriend who lived across the street. She claimed the mother
was abusive, controlling, holding her down, etc. I talked to the boy
a few times and he claimed that he hated the grandmother and didn't
want to see her ever again. The grandmother sued to see the boy, but
before they went to court they settled out of court because she moved
BACK in with the grandmother because the boyfriend kicked her out and
she had no friends and no where to go. I know all of this because I
was on the case because I was genetically the father of the boy.
This woman has no car, no license, and a dead end part time job. My
mother who still lives in New Jersey was granted visitation rights as
a result of my court case in February, so she sees him a little and I
hear some information from her. I still have yet to meet the boy, as I
haven?t flown home in almost 3 years since I moved to California.
Before I ask my question, consider the following first. . .
1. I was 16 years old and she was 20 years old when this all happened.
In the state of California, 18 years old is legal for sex, but in New
Jersey, 16 years old is legal. Even so, I was still a minor as I was
2. She took my virginity, I was extremely naive and essentially lied to.
3. This woman is mentally screwed up, as is her mother. I do not have
documentation of this obviously, but there must be some record of it
somewhere. They were ordered to go to counseling when she moved back
as a result of the settlement, but I learned that the grandmother does
not go, and possibly the boy and mother do not go either through my
4. It has been 8 years and the only reason I found of my son's
existence is because the state of New Jersey forced her to when she
went on welfare. The first picture I saw of him was a black and white
photocopy of his photograph on the request for DNA test I was mailed.
5. Since I live 3000 miles away, I cannot establish a relationship
with my son because I do not have the financial means to do so. If I
knew of his existence from the get go, I more than likely I would not
live this far away.
6. This has been a GIGANTIC emotional and financial detriment for my
new family and me.
7. I still have yet to receive 1 phone call, picture, or letter from
her. I have received a few letters and phone calls from my son, so
she at least isn't trying to hide his existence any longer.
Can legally take her to court and sue her for fraud, withholdment of
information, deception, or ANYTHING AT ALL that would essentially
result in the stoppage of child support or make her want to stop the
child support order.