IN THE WAY THAT TWO WITNESSES PERCEIVE THE SAME ACCIDENT AND RECOUNT
IT IN DIFFERENT
WAYS AND BOTH SEE THE SAME THING DIFFERENTLY, THE OLD ADAGE, "HE SAID,
SHE SAID", SO
IT IS SOMETIMES THAT ONE PERSON'S REMARKS OF GOOD INTENT ARE PERCEIVED
BY ANOTHER PERSON AS EVIL INTENT BUT AN EVIL INTERPRETATION DOES NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT TRUE INTENTION  ; FOR EXAMPLE; ONE BOY MAY ASK TWO
GIRLS FOR A DATE; ONE GIRL MAY OFFER HER HAND IN GENTLE ACCEPTANCE
WHILE ANOTHER GIRL MAY SLAP THE FACE OF THE ONE WHO ASKED.

ON ONE OCCASION I AND A HANDSOME BUDDY WENT TO THE DANCE.....THE TABLE
WAS SWARMED BY GIRLS WANTING DANCE WITH MY FRIEND...HE WAS WILLING OF
COURSE, THAT'S WHY WE WENT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE TO MEET AND DANCE
WITH GIRLS, SO MY FRIEND DANCED WITH THE FIRST GIRL WHO ARRIVED AT OUR
TABLE BUT WHEN I ASKED THE  GIRL WHO DID NOT ARRIVE AT THE TABLE
IN TIME, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT?...SHE
TOLD ME TO "GET LOST" IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS,  "GET LOST", AND;
EXPLETIVELY SO, SHE EMPHASIZED THE POINT.......THAT MADE ME, A
SEASONED, COWBOY BLUSH AND ASHAMED. BUT WHY? THE SIMPLE QUESTION,
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?" OR " WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT?" TO THIS
GIRL WAS A LEWD REMARK THAT SEEMED TO MAKE HER FURIOUS BECAUSE IT CAME
FROM ME...A PERSON HARDLY AS HANDSOME AS MY PARTNER TO BE SURE......SO .HERE IS MY
QUESTION...IN THIS CASE AND MANY LIKE IT, A GIRLS PERCEPTION SEEMS TO
RULE WHEN IT COMES TO PERCEPTION VERSUS INTENTION....NOW I
CERTAINLY HAD NO IDEA THAT I WOULD BE HELD IN SUCH CONTEMPT BY THIS
GIRL WHO OBVIOUSLY HATED MY LOOKS OR AT LEAST HATED HER LOST TO DANCE
WITH MY BUDDY,  AND WAS USING ME
AS THE KICKING DOG.....TO VENT HER FRUSTRATION...BUT I HAD ONLY GOOD
INTENTION IN WHATEVER I ASKED...I WAS NOT RUDE, I WAS NOT MALEVELENT,
I WAS NOT THREATENING, I WAS MERELY TRYING TO INTERACT..TO COMMUNICATE
..I WANTED TO MEET SOMEONE, TO LIKE SOMEONE....AND WHO KNOWS: TO LOVE
SOMEONE.....

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ONE PERSONS LOVE IS ANOTHER PERSONS HATE......ONE
PERSONS SWEET IS ANOTHER PERSON'S VINEGAR..INTENTION VERSUS PERCEPTION
SO MY QUESTION IS THIS:

WHY SHOULD PERCEPTION MORE OFTEN THAN NOT BE THE WINNER IN ALMOST
EVERYTHING THAT MEN DO WHEN THE PERCEPTION BY WOMEN CAN BE SO FAR FROM
THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER OF INTENT BY THE MAN......MAYBE THEY ARE THE
"WEAKER SEX" BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT SINCE THE WOMEN'S LIB BEGAN THERE
HAVE BEEN SO MUCH ANIMOSITY AGAINST MEN...A LOT OF IT I ADMIT WITH
GOOD REASON IN ABUSICV ERELEATIONSHIPS BUT I THINK OFTEN TIMES THAT
WOMEN...ESPECIALLY THE MAN HATING WOMEN TOO OFTEN EXXAGERTED THEIR
CAUSE AND LESBIAN COMMUNITY BY AND LARGE ARE HATERS OF MEN BECAUSE MEN
ARE THEIR BIGGEST COMPETITION WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, TO HOLD, TO
LOVE, TO CHERISH, AND IN THE CASE OF MEN FOR SURE...TO IMNPREGNATE
WITH THE NEXT GENERATION.....HATERS OF MEN NEVER CAN AND THEY LOATH
MEN........UNFORTUNATELY I THINK THEIR ZEAL TOO OFTEN EDUCATES WOMEN
TO BE RIDICULOUSLY SENSITIVE AND WANT TO COMPLAIN AT THE DROP OF A
LOOK...FROM SOMEONE THEY ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO.....ON THE OTHER HAND
THE SAME WOMN CAN MELT INTO THE ARMS OF A MaN SHE IS ATTRACTED
TO.....One man is a Prince and another man is a Toad...but the
intentions of the Prince and the intentions of the Toad are identical
...by perception in the mind of the girl,however...one man is
beautiful and welcomed while the otherman is disgustingly
lewd....Like, "who is he this wart that he thinks I wil stoop to his
uglinest...I can get better than that creep".......end of story......

Unfortunately, and this is the dillemma and the question:  how can a
man defend his intention against a woman who perceives the intention
to be perverse?  ARE THERE ANY LEGAL ARGUMeNTS PHILISOPICAL ARGUMENTS 
OR PSYCHOLOGICAL COMMENTARY THAT COULD BE USEFUL IN AN ESSAY or affidavit/

"IN DEFENSE OF IMPLIED INTENT" VERSUS INFERRED PERCEPTION."

I can't answer your question, but I would like to point out that the
problem of rejection based upon misperception or trivial standards of
appearance is not something that only males suffer.

I am not an ugly person, and I am reasonably well-spoken, but I was
never asked out on a date until I was a sophomore in college. If I had
kept all the tears I shed over this lack of male companionship, I
could set up a small saltwater aquarium.

Years later, a former classmate told me that the reason no one had
asked me out was that boys found me to be "intimidating."

One of the advantages of growing older is that people, as they mature,
tend to become better able to discern each other's true selves, and
are less likely to leap to snap judgments.

a yu grow older yes...but....unfortunately the immature is basically
the majority of the population so in our comfort we can imagine now we
understand does little if not nothing to prevent the pattern from
repeating itself and I do not suggest that this is a male problem
only...it's just that when a male asks the female who doesn't like
him, it seems girls can be as selfish and as vain as self centred and
accusatory as all get out....males on the other hand I think are more
sympathetic and not inclined to read so many negatives into mere
sdolicitation whether it is an invitation to the movies or an
invitation to the bedroom which the movies in any case is simply the
longer way round to the same thing...That is the design!

Buddyboy, I'm not a researcher, but I can add something to PinkFreud's
heartbreaking comment about not being asked out.  She and I are
contemporaries and came of age during a decade when "nice" girls *had*
to wait for boys to do the asking.  As a girl I was pretty and smart,
but I too sat in wondering what was wrong with me.  I found out many
years later that there were boys in high school who would have liked
to ask me out, but they didn't.  Why?  Because they knew what church
my family attended and, because of its very strict practices, they
simply assumed that I would not have been allowed to go out with them.
 Nobody even tried, not even the one (I found out so much later) who
had a huge crush on me.

There are all kinds of dumb and cruel reasons why people are shunned
when they try to connect with one another.  Looks are just one of
them, and it is not always women who do the shunning.  You may have
heard some of your pals talking about women and maybe even dismissing
this one or that one in rude language because she did not look like a
magazine-quality beauty.  Don't think women don't feel that.

Let me just say, though, that a woman who'd shoot a guy down in the
way that happened to you is probably not someone you'd want to waste
your time with anyway.  A person who'd behave like that to anybody
isn't going to be much of a friend.  Look for someone with a good
heart who'll treat you decently, and never mind her appearance, which
you're already wise enough to know isn't a measure of worth.

Maybe she's the one who wasn't even at the dance. 

Archae0pteryx

Hi Buddy,

Perception is one of those intangible things. We can't quite describe
it nor encapsulate it. We simply recognise it for what it is, within
our own perception. Your perception of life is your own reality.

No one here was a fly on the wall when you asked the girl your
question. But if there were 7 flies on the wall, you would find 7
different perceptions anyway.

Perhaps you are direct and honest, and expect the same in return. Did
you converse with this girl before you asked the question? If it was
your opening line, then what the hell else can you expect? Of course
she will defend herself to an unknown.

Maybe your real question lies beneath that which you ask.

Phil