what makes a person likeable

Ultimately, people who care about others, and show it, are the most
likeable. Humor helps, too :)

Kriswrite

Being good looking?

I don't think being good-looking has anything to do with being
likeable. Some of my very closest friends have been, by society's
standards, rather ugly. But, of course, that was just the outside
part.

Also agree about the looks. In fact, sometimes "beautiful" people are
not liked by people who either envy them, or have presuppositions
about them (or that these people really develope an attitude and are
not liked because of that).

Liz,

Showing a GENUINE interest in others, contributing without ulterior
motive and remaining easy going and undemanding. A good smile often
helps.  :)

Phil

Not taking oneself too seriously...

It may sound trite, but Dale Carnegie's book, "How to Win Friends and
Influence People" gives a number of tips on increasing one's
"likability."  For example, one of his tips is: "The Sweetest Sound to
Another's Person's Ears is the Sound of That Person's Own Name."  OK,
OK, corny, I know, but it was written many years ago.  But it's true! 
When you meet someone, remember their name!  Use a mnemonic device if
you have to (there are several good memory books by Jerry Lucas and
Harry Lorayne--see, e.g.,
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0345410025/104-8627980-6531957?v=glance).
 If you can meet someone and call them by name during your
conversation and call them by name again the next time you see them,
they will instinctively respond more favorably to you.  Look people in
the eye when you talk to them, and when people talk, LISTEN to them. 
Develop a warm, firm (not sloppy or limp or moist) handshake.  Be on
time.  Be responsible.  When someone comes into your office, do one
overt "desk clearing" gesture (like put down your phone, or look away
from your monitor and at the person, or place down the pencil you are
holding) and turn your attention to the person who came in.  And yes,
while looks should not be important, they are.  Even if you are not
gorgeous by the world's standards, you should make an effort to be
clean and well groomed as much as possible.  Comb your hair.  Brush
your teeth.  Polish your shoes.  All of these things add to the
impression you make and ultimately bear on how other people relate to
you.  Smile.  Don't complain all the time.  Be courteous (this does
not mean "be a doormat."  Nobody likes a doormat.)
You know, a lot of people say, "Just be yourself, and if people don't
like you, that's their fault."  I disagree with that, to the extent it
suggests one does not need to try to try to be clean and pleasant and
helpful, etc.  Improve yourself first before seeing others'
faults--that's a good rule to live by.

The key and the most important step is to really wish to be likable.
It's a skill and like any other skill you need to learn and practice.

To get started start training your social skills. That includes
conversation skills, listening skills, humor, and other sub-skills
that you choose based on what you want to be like. Try www.hodu.com,
get some books, and practice practice practice.

Another important component is to be healthy. When you're healthy you
feel good and you radiate that all around you. Essental to good health
is to Jog or Run 15-30 minutes every day. It takes a little effort at
first, but after a week or two you'll become addicted to running and
you'll start enjoying it more and more. Also if you have no major
noticable defects in your body you will begin to look good. And to
refute some earlier comments it's a fact that good looking people are
intuitivly trusted and listened to by others(because health brings
good judgement and good looks mostly come from health)

Being likable is not something that you can just turn on or have to be
born with - but something you have to work on for the rest of your
life. If it's important to you that people listen to you, respect you,
value your presence, date you, marry you, be friends with you then
take action - start learning.

This last part is a mere recommendation: become religious. Get a
purpose for your life. If you don't have a purpose you will spend your
life in stress worrying about all the minor things in life. Read The
Bible, Tao Te Ching, Bhagawadgita. Don't seek to disprove - seek the
truth.

Yours truly,
Cheesedip

likeable should never be the ultimate goal, but to get there maybe you
should look at what people don't like in a person for we are often
more forth coming with our dislikes than our likes. Just be yourself
cause there is no-one better!

Hi there,

The field that covers this kind of thing is social psychology.

To make a summary of the research here is a list of the things that
make people like you:

1. Empathy: Your ability to read the other person
2. Similarity: People like people who are similar to themselves
3. Liking: The fact that they think you like them will make them like you

The first is empathy - which is your ability to relate to another
person is feeling. There is actually some research that shows that
your ability to read another person accurately is correlated to how
socially popular you are.

As an example: it is important when dealing with people to 'match'
whatever mood they may be in - being excited when talking to a person
who is upset is going to annoy them - and someone who is dull in
responding to someone who has some exciting news is not going to come
off well. Leil Lowndes is an author that talks about some of these in
her books (see Amazon.com)

Another important author is Allan Pease on Body Language - I met him
in August at one of his seminars - I think it is worth reading his new
book called the definitive guide to body language.

The next one is similarity: We tend to select mates and friends
because of our similarity. Tony Robins has some material that is worth
reading - see especially his chapter on rapport in Unlimited Power - a
book he wrote ages ago.

The final thing to consider is that people like people who like them -
Cauldini is a very famous prof. of psychology who wrote a book called
'influence' which I strongly suggest you take a look at.

There is a discussion that people who listen are seen as better
'conversationalists' - how to win friends and influence people talks
about this.

In the book 'the seven habits of highly effective people' stephen
covey has an empathic listening technique where you listen to what is
said, paraphase what they said back to them along with the emotion
that they are feeling. Rather than going into too much detail - i'd
suggest instead that you read the chapter in that book which is called
'first understand then be understood'

Finally - use your empathy skills to read what the other person is
thinking, talk to them using their words and language - and take a
sincere interest in other people.

Good luck!

Here are my replies:

> I don't think being good-looking has anything to do with being
> likeable. Some of my very closest friends have been, by society's
> standards, rather ugly. But, of course, that was just the outside
> part.

The science says that people who are more attractive are seen as being
more intelligence and innocent. they get acquited of crimes more
often, and are to some degree liked more. On the other hand they are
also more lonely (especially women) as they are less likely to be
approached romantically as men are intimidated by them. There is an
element of being envyed, especially by other less attractive women.
Evolutionary psychology has found that our desire for attractive
people is innate (hard wired) see David Buss - The Evolution of
Desire.

Hi Liz, 

I will keep this simple.

Someone who is Pleasing and attractive.

humility too maybe?

in addition to the above comments (notably those of ipfan, cheesedip
and capitald), one needs KINDNESS to be likeable.  cheers!

There is a free e-book about that.
http://www.doubleyourdating.com
I think that book is not as good as is represented, but i can help to someone.

I agree with Phil (silver777).

Mike :-)

I think the most likable people are those that posses qualities others
envy but act as if they don't know it or don't care about it
Similar to pleasing and attractive

usually people who reflect the same qualities. We're in love with ourselves.

It probably depends on who you are talking to, but kind, caring and
giving people are often liked by those who share the same ethical
values http://www.oaths.com

I fell like most time you need to express whats on your mind to the
person and how you feel about issues to be noticed by someone else.
although it seems impossible to be everyones friend  sometimes people
are themselves to shy or mean to be changed or really get to know you.