.. when do you charge your kid rent? Our son lives at home, after
graduating form college, and we are looking for published suggestions,
when should you start charging the young person rent, when should you
really encourage them to find and apartment, and issue like
these........ looking for articles that address these issues......

Hi Jim, I can't point you to any sources, but I can speak from
personal experience. I lived with my parents until I was 26, because I
could not afford to buy my own home until then. My parents rule was
that as long as I was going to school, they wouldn't charge me rent. I
went to a technical college for a 2 year program. I graduated when I
was 20. After that, I paid them $400 a month rent. I worked part-time
and full-time between 20 and 26. Basically I was covering part of the
mortgage and grocery bills.

Is your son employed? Perhaps you could sit down and look at his
earnings, and how much your monthly bills/costs are and see if he
would be willing to chip in. HTH!

thant you for your comments. -- yes he is employed .++.. this is
stemming from some folks were talking last night that they recently
read somewhere some great discussion articles -- and none had any
sources -- so, realizing there is no set, black and white answer for
this -- just looking for whatever is published ... or.....?/ Thanks
again......

The answer depends on many things.  You should make a list of things
that are important to you and let your son make a list of what is
important to him.  See if you can come to an agreement.  Would he be
willing to work off some of his debt to you by doing work/chores
around the house?  Would you be willing to have it this way?  Does he
keep his word? An agreement that satisfied you both would give him a
chance to make the best of a good situation while he needs to save
money.  Figure out what it saves him to be living with you...do you do
the food shopping and cleaning and pay all bills...what does this add
up to in a month that you are actually saving him?  You know your son
and what is possible to work out with him.

My sister let her son live in a house with his friends on the grounds
that they all pay her rent to cover the mortgage (she had moved out of
the house).  Well, she never saw a dime so she rented the place out to
someone who did pay.  Her son was not angry or even surprised; he just
moved out with no hard feelings.

 It could be the only thing you want from your son is to see that he
puts the money that he ordinarily be spending on rent and whatever
else it is you provide to him into savings .

When I lived at home for awhile my mother "threw me out" in her own
way...she did not provide anything for me.  She gave my room to a man
friend of hers and I had to sleep in the basement (unfinished).  But,
I was young and nieve and would spend 2 or 3 hours a day listening to
her and trying to cheer her up.  She did not buy any food or do any
laundry or invite me to dinner.  SO EACH PERSONS OPTIONS ARE UNIQUE.

If I were in your shoes I would sit down and start writing things out
and try to get things resolved in the best interests of both parties. 
Maybe you do need to charge him rent and keep the money.  Maybe he
could pay you rent and you put it into a savings account for him and
surprise him someday.  He should not just be a FREELOADER while you
supply his needs.  You could sit down with him when you are calm,
level headed, well fed and well rested and work out an agreement.  :)

I also moved home with the folks after college.  I spent about 2 1/2
years at home total after graduation (with 1 1/2 years gap when I got
an appartment with 2 friends).
My parents have always told me that I'd have a place to stay if I
needed it, but they also said that they won't support me.  I think
that is a great approach.  In todays world it's really hard to get a
decent job right out of college as everyone is looking for 2-5 years
experience minimum.  My parents knew I was capable of making some
money atleast (which I did by substitute teaching, working holiday
hours at the post office, working at a summer camp...) until I finally
landed a good job at the ripe age of 25.  Now I'm on my own and doing
great.

Here is an article I found that I think is tremendous:

http://money.cnn.com/2000/03/31/home_auto/q_boomerang/

It has some good advice and helps put things into perspective.  

"In 1998, for example, the latest year for which data are available,
59 percent of men age 18 to 25 in this country lived with their
parents. That's up from 54 percent in 1970 and 52 percent in 1960."
That's part of the perspective side of the article... but do read it,
it's got some good insight.

Hi Jim,

I'm a 55 yr old mother of 2 kids, aged 34 & 28.

My daughter ( age 34 ) was *thrown* out when she was 22 because she
bad-mouthed me, hated my loud music and basically became a pain in my
neck. She lived in my bsmt apt. at the time and paid $500/mo for rent
& food.

With my son ( age 28 ), when my now ex-husband and I bought a small
house, we gave him 3 months notice to move out. He and his G/F were
living at our rented house and paid us $ 500/mo. He now owns a house
on the same street :)

So, to clarify, if you and your child are on good terms and he/she
works, sit down together and work out an agreeable financial schedule.

Steph53

My mother cried and threw a huge fit when I moved out at the age of
26.  I think it's a Southern European thing.  Needless to say, I did
not pay rent, utilities, etc.  I have been gainfully employed since
graduating college at the age of 22.  I think charging your kids rent
is more of a WASPy attitude.

I'll start by saying I'm from Mexico and have lived there all my life.
I lived at my parents house until I got married, at age 29. I
graduated from college when I was 24. Until then, I never paid rent to
them. I started working right out of college, and that's when I
started buying my own stuff such as clothes, vacations, restaurants,
etc. Two years later, when I was 26, and had a better job, that's when
my parents asked me to pay them a monthly rent of $500 which also
included food at home. But since they really didn't need the money I
was paying them, what they did is to save all the money I gave them
for me, and when I announced I was going to get married, they gave me
back the money I paid them, and I used it to give a down payment on my
own house, the one where I live with my lovely wife and kid. If it
wasn't for my parents prevision, it would have been very difficult for
me to buy my own house, and I'll always be grateful to them for their
wise approach to this matter. It gave me perspective of what it takes
to make a living, and at the same time, gave me the opportunity to
become 100% independant and become a homeowner, which in Mexico, is a
very difficult thing.

When my son becomes an adult, I'll definitely use the same approach.

On the series premier of Joey, which was repeated last night, Joey's
sister did not want her son moving out, even though he has graduated
college.  They're Italian.