What are the divorce statistics for marriages between US military and
Koreans?  How would these statistics compare to some control groups
(e.g. US MIL/US NONMIL marriages? and/or US MIL/UK NONMIL marriages?
and/or US MIL/US MIL marriages?)

I am a 32 year old officer in the U.S. Air Force and am currently
stationed in Korea.  I am contemplating the idea of marriage with my
Korean girlfriend.  We?ve been dating for four months and I have
approximately six months left in Korea.  While this information will
not be the deciding factor on whether or not I pop the question, I
want to know about it.  If you find more interesting information
related to this topic beyond the question I've asked above, please
pass it my way.  How did length of courtship and/or engagement
correlate to the divorce statistics?  Do divorce statistics differ
between enlisted personnel and officers?  Did the education level of
the woman play a role?  What if the woman had lived outside of Korea
for a year or more prior to marriage to US military personnel? 
Additionally, please tell me the sources you?ve referenced.

---

Clarification of Question by pyramus32-ga on 23 Jan 2006 23:55 PST

Could I have a status report on my questions please?  Is anyone
working this?  I don't consider it fully answered at this point. 
Cynthia and Techtor spoke to the questions and provided some insight
and that's great.  However, I would like to see the numbers I asked
for.

Don't worry about the statistics.  Even if there are any they do not necessarily 
pertain to your situation.  Too many other variables.  In my opinion,
the most important question is her views about living outside her
culture.  Does she speak english, and how well?  Will she be adaptable
to living in the U.S.?  Love won't be all you need but it's a good
start.

Yes, she speaks English well and she is also fluent in Russian.  She
lived in Moscow for two years when she was a college student.  This
was the only time she lived outside of Korea.  I still want to know
about the statistics and also how things have worked/not worked for
others in similar circumstances and why/why not.

pyramus, it took me all of 120 seconds to clock what you have been up to

- the 'Wall' has gone, but you've hit it off with a N. Korean translator

Chances are that she was briefed to 'turn your head', but that does
not matter much, as N. and S. Korea are conducting a very complicated
mating dance, probably influenced by the re-unification of Germany.

If she has not hinted to you that she was sicced on you, then I would
think about things, chances are 100%

Personally, I would frisk Thisbe for recording devices (should be
mutually enjoyable) and explicitly avoid working in any sensitive
areas until N. Korea and S. Korea have laid an egg.

Chances are also that she chose you, although she had to choose
someone, which is rather a compliment.

Be prepared to send back cash to her family, also explicitly avoid
(repeated with emphasis) working in sensitive areas
- you are in a statistically unquantifiable situation <=== ******
- what a delightful quandary 
- chances are that you have an Alpha Female
- isolate and impregnate her as soon as possible
Ahem ... and be honest with her ... she probably chose you
- quite a compliment

Finding the statistics themselves online is pretty difficult. But if
you have time and money to pick up a book, probably this one might
help you:

Beyond the Shadow of Camptown
by Ji-Yeon Yuh 
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0814796982/asiannation-20/104-2053915-8727136

It's a study on Korean brides in the US. A bit expensive book though.

I bartend when I'm out-of-work/between jobs, and my last boss was a 60
year old Korean woman named Chun. She has been married to her military
husband since she was 18, and he was a serviceman in Korea. I have
gotten to know her quite well and respect her and her marriage views
very much. After all, I'm separated from my 3rd husband, and she has
been married for over 40 years. Like most marriages there are ups and
downs, but she recently told me that her grandmother taught her many
things about marriage. I suspect these lessons are cultural and not
unique to the grandmother... Korean women are extremely loyal, if
raised in Korea, it's likely this woman will go through many stages of
development when she moves to the US. Although she will be dependent
at first, this will change. It's inevitable that she will become more
assertive, just to survive here. I think my military friend made a
wise choice with choosing a Korean woman.

BTW, her grandmother taught her, among other things, to "stay with
your husband," the reasoning is "all men have faults, so the next one
is no better, and may be worse."

Congratulations...

Dear Pyramus, 

Your questions are also not answered yet. If you look at your question
page, you'd see that there is a place titled "Answer" (which is empty
right now), and "comments", which is where I - as well as Daniel,
Frde, Cynthia and Techtor - are writing. Comments are not answers and
you are not charged for them (and anyone can post a comment, including
giving you there some unsubstantiated information ("your fiancee is a
North Korean spy!" I guess this was a joke, since frde usually writes
more sensible things).

It might hasn't been answered because no-one has ever collected
statistics regarding divorce in this particular population: U.S.
servicemen who marry Koreans.

However, I wouldn't be counting too much on statistics, and in general
- marriage is a gamble. If you'd married an American girl, you'd had -
statistically speaking - 50% chance to divorce her (in Korea, by the
way, the divorce rates are much lower).

Statistics, as Mark Twain has eloquently said, is the worse type of
lies. You and I probably know people who were married more than once
(or even twice), and couples who've been married for 40 years. There
are statistics that talk about the higher rate of divorce in certain
families (children of divorcees, for example). But that doesn't mean
that *you* will not have a happy life. I think that the secret of a
(relatively) happy marriage lies in being able to understand each
other, and each other's expectations, and in the understanding that
marriage doesn't look much like those couples on TV, unless you count
Al and Peggy Bundy (this is almost a documentary ;-). You will have
fights, you will have times when you will be frustrated. The question
is not whether you'll reach these points, but how you'll deal with
them, and stay together.

@PoliticalGuru

While I'm flattered by your statement that I usually write more
sensible things, in this case I was not joking.

N Korea is a funny place, the government is totally paranoid, an
interpreter who speaks good English and fluent Russian is guaranteed
to be 'targeted' and 'debriefed'.

It is also likely that her family is rather well connected, otherwise
she would not have gone to college in Russia (post 1990), and that she
will attract some interest from US spooks - if she hasn't already.

Best be realistic, otherwise Pyramus's Midsummer Night's Dream could
turn into a nightmare - the situation is actually quite complicated
- the more I think about it the more delicate things look

Pyramus32-ga,
I admittedly had not been able to find the information you need, as it
seems those numbers on Korean-US Servicemen marriage statistics are
not readily available. I could not come up with an answer quickly.
Should this question expire, but you still need the information, feel
free to repost it.

As a Korean man having lived in US for a very long time, my
observation is the divorce rate between American men, who picked up
military brides from South Korea, and Korean women are LOW.  I've seen
a LOT of former US Service men/Korean women couple here in US.  The
common sense is endogamous marriages tend to have lower divorce rate
than exogamous marriage.  I take it that yours will be exogamous.

One side note is while it's easy to encounter US Service men marrying
Korean women, it is rare to see Korean men marrying US women (as all
the readers probably observed at one time or another).  Because a US
(Service) man is marrying a Korean woman doesn't mean that he wants to
see a Korean man marrying a US woman. Further more, I'd be accused of
racism/sexism by my own Korean women who think US guys are hot.  On
the flip side, it's rare to find US women who think Korean guys are
hot.  It is unfair and miserable for us Korean guys who can't get a
girlfriend even well into their 30s.

Well, I think it is the men who has to take initiative in the mating
game, and men of domininant ethnicity DO HAVE ADVANTAGE in the game. 
Korean men do not happen to be of dominant ethnicity.  I think this
kind of US male dominance/heavy influence in Korean dating/marriage
market is one of characteristics of global human society, and will
probably continue into next serveral generations.  On the same token,
it would be intelligible to say Korean men's inter-racial
dating/marriage will probably increase in coming generations as Korea
whole become more assimilated with the Western society and gain more
global status.  However, that is not going to happen in my generation,
and I will accept my single life as my fate (even if it continues to
my last day) while watching my own Korean women happily dating and
marrying US men.

Pyramus,
Although I didn't especially agree with frde's comment, having a
Korean wife who had studied in Russia could be a problem with higher
security clearances.  If that is a consideration for you, you
could/should talk to someone who would know.

This site from the US Embassy in Korea should also be noted (if you
haven't already):
http://usembassy.state.gov/seoul/wwwh2110.html

Good luck, Myoarin

@canyonriver

We in the UK have racial memories of invading USA troops
- some have DNA to prove it
- it is just a matter of 'youthful louts with fat wallets'

I tend to listen to the BBC World Radio, which is financed by the UK
Foreign Office, (it is propaganda through a double-think truth filter)
- Your mates at home are supposedly importing Chinese, Vietnamese,
Philipino et al wives

Schadenenfreuede - but it ain't personal.
In your case, you will be surprized.

@MyOar
- her situation is 'blindingly obvious'
- there will be long strings attached to her, and if if it ain't done
right, her family will suffer.
Personally I think it is a 2 year thing, but residues will survive.
N Korea has learnt from Ost Deutschland

In answer to canyonriver's observation on the rarity of marriages (or
romantic relationships) between Korean men and American and other
western women: I do not think that it is a question of lack of
interest on the part of western women, but merely a lack of an
appropriate forum or community for those who may be interested in
relationships with Korean men to indicate their receptiveness to
Korean male intitiative.

She is North Korean
She is a translator
She is from the Nomenclatura ( privileged class )

She, in the USA is exposed to blackmail - like your parents die

She cannot disappear - so He has to get a 'no use' posting

A Midsummer's Night Nightmare

Hi. I'm an academic whose field looks at the statistics you want about
US/Korean marriages. The statistics show that after 5 years the
divorce rate between Korean women and American military males is
around 90%. Pretty grim.

However, as you note, such numbers should not discourage you since
each person is different. First, many of the Korean women and American
soldiers who marry each other lack the basic ability to communicate
well with one another. Each lacks the language of the other and so
their relationship has no room to grow or develop in an interesting
way. Marriage is hard when people CAN communicate, it is next to
impossible when you cant.

So, ask yourself these questions... Is her english OR your Korean at a
level where you BOTH can talk about abstract topics such as
literature? politics? music? future plans?

Next, if she is a Korean college graduate then she may very well be
more educated about world literature, etc. and more cosmopolitan than
many Americans. Will she able to have the opportunity to meet
similarly educated people in the US? Everyone needs friends, and if
she really is a university grad, then she may not relate well to the
Korean women who often are attached to the US military. They simply
have little in common, not unlike Americans who meet other Americans
with whom they have nothing in common.

Final point, dont sweat the Russian language. Nowadays, it is very
common for South Korean college students to study abroad in places
like Russia, Rumania, etc.

So, I  hope this is of some value to you. Good luck to you and her.

@hwangjini-ga 

That is very interesting stuff, and sound advice

However pyramus32-ga is a joke reference to the play within a play in
Midsummer's Night Dream, in which two lovers whisper through a crack
in a wall.