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Q: Are there any grammar errors in this paragraph? ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   2 Comments )
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Subject: Are there any grammar errors in this paragraph?
Category: Arts and Entertainment > Books and Literature
Asked by: jackdurden-ga
List Price: $5.00
Posted: 15 Nov 2004 13:25 PST
Expires: 15 Dec 2004 13:25 PST
Question ID: 429373
Hi, I need to know if there are any mistakes in this paper. All I need
is someone to proof read it and submit a corrected paper as the
answer. I really need this corrected in about an hour so I am not
expecting anything perfect.

I am not picky and have never rated anyone with less then 5-stars nor
forgotten to tip.

Thanks for your help.



-----------------




My family has many pets, and among them are two dogs, Champ and
Jasmine. Champ is a Dachshund and Jasmine is a Golden Retriever. Even
though Champ and Jasmine share the same living space and have grown-up
together for the last few years, there are still many unique
differences between these two dogs, in breed and in the way these two
animals respond to their environment.
The bodies of these two breeds are very different. Champ?s hair is
very short and reddish. This is fine in the summer, but sometimes he
shivers on cold winter nights. Jasmine on the other hand, has long
flowing blonde hair and is more suitable for living in the outdoors.
She copes with the seasonal changes of Kansas seemingly unaffected.
Another way their bodies are different is in size. The Dachshund has a
very small, but has a long body with really short legs, while the
Golden Retriever on the other hand, is tall and has longer legs. Their
barks also sound different, and coincide with their size. Jasmine has
very loud volume with a deep bark, while Champ has just a little less
volume with a more shrill yapping bark.
Another contrast between these two dogs is how they interact with each
other. Jasmine usually will not initiate any type of ?playing?. Champ
on the other hand, normally does initiate the ?playing.? He usually
will snap at Jasmine, which forces her to retaliate. Actually Jasmine,
being a much bigger dog, gets control very easily and Champ will
shrink back, trying to twist his body around to get away. Another
characteristic these dogs exhibit relates to chewing. While Jasmine
does not normally chew on things a lot, Champ on the other hand does.
In one case Champ chewed up the cord from my xbox controller that was
left on the living room floor.
There is also a considerable difference in the way that these two
animals act towards other animals. Jasmine will usually bark once and
run over to another dog. At that point she will then stop and see how
the other dog responds to her. If the dog is aggressive, Jasmine will
usually back down and cower in fear, but Champ on the hand, starts out
aggressive and will not back down. I think this demonstrates the
?hound? in Champ. He responds the same way with most all animals. For
instance, Champ has caught several animals and it seems he carries
them around just to prove his worth. In contrast, Jasmine will not
chase or dig for animals, but she does run and retrieve objects that
someone throws in the yard. This is obviously the retriever in her.
Finally, Champ and Jasmine respond to training differently. Jasmine,
the Golden Retriever, typically learns very, very quickly, whereas
Champ, the Dachshund, rarely learns anything without spending a lot of
time and repetitive exercises. Champ, not the brightest dog, sometimes
confuses the command ?sit? with ?lay down,? while Jasmine understands
the command perfectly. Another distinct difference is the temperament
of these two dogs. Jasmine is a very lovable, ?laid-back? dog. For
example, when she meets someone for the first time, she will typically
just set and stare at them for a while waiting eagerly to be petted.
Champ on the other hand, gets very excited and runs and jumps when
first meeting someone.
I have learned a lot about responsibility having to look out for the
needs of these two dogs. I have also learned to embrace their
differences and accept that Jasmine will not stop picking fights and
Champ will not stop chewing on anything left on the floor. Champ will
always be the smaller dog with all the energy in the world and Champ
will always be laid back and friendly to anyone that knocks on the
door. Although my dogs are almost complete opposites in, size, looks,
and character they are still the perfect pets. They are loyal, loving
and always looking out for their owners, everything you could ask from
a pet.


Thanks again for your help.
Answer  
Subject: Re: Are there any grammar errors in this paragraph?
Answered By: kriswrite-ga on 17 Nov 2004 11:34 PST
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
 
Hello jackdurden~

I have made mostly minor corrections to your paper. Most had to do
with clarity. There were a few grammatical mistakes, too. (In
particular, in the second to last paragraph, the words "set and stare"
should be "sit and stare" and "petted" should be "pet.")


Kind regards,
Kriswrite

~~~~~

My family has many pets. Among them are two dogs, Champ and Jasmine.
Champ is a Dachshund and Jasmine is a Golden Retriever. Even though
Champ and Jasmine have lived together for the last few years, there
are still many differences between these two dogs??not only
differences in breed, but in the way these two animals respond to
their environment.

The bodies of these two breeds are very different. Champ?s hair is
very short and reddish. This is fine in the summer, but sometimes he
shivers on cold winter nights. Jasmine, on the other hand, has long,
flowing blonde hair that is more suitable for living outdoors. She
copes with the seasonal changes of Kansas, seemingly unaffected.

Another way their bodies are different is in size. The Dachshund is
small, but has a long body with really short legs, while the Golden
Retriever is tall and has longer legs. Their barks also sound
different, and coincide with their size. Jasmine?s bark is loud and
deep, while Champ has less volume and a more shrill, yapping bark.

Another contrast between these two dogs is how they interact with each
other. Jasmine usually will not initiate any type of ?playing." Champ,
on the other hand, normally does initiate ?playing.? He usually will
snap at Jasmine, which forces her to retaliate. Actually, since
Jasmine is a much bigger dog, she gets control of the situation very
easily. Champ shrinks back, trying to twist his body around to get
away from her.

Another difference these dogs exhibit relates to chewing. While Jasmine
does not normally chew on things, Champ, on the other hand, does. In
one case, Champ chewed up the cord from my Xbox controller that was
left on the living room floor.

There is also a considerable difference in the way these two dogs act
toward other animals. When she sees another dog, Jasmine will usually
bark once and run over to it. She will then stop and see how the other
dog responds to her. If the dog is aggressive, Jasmine will usually
back down and cower in fear. Champ, on the hand, starts out aggressive
and will not back down. I think this demonstrates the ?hound? in
Champ. He responds the same way with most animals. For instance, Champ
has caught several animals, and it seems he carries them around just
to prove his worth. In contrast, Jasmine will not chase or dig for
animals, but she does run and retrieve objects that someone throws in
the yard. This is obviously the "retriever" in her.

Champ and Jasmine also respond to training differently. Jasmine
typically learns very quickly, whereas Champ rarely learns anything
without spending a lot of time on repetitive exercises. Not the
brightest dog, Champ sometimes confuses the command ?sit? with ?lay
down,? while Jasmine understands each command perfectly.

Another distinct difference between the two dogs is their temperament.
Jasmine is a very lovable, ?laid-back? dog. For example, when she
meets someone for the first time, she will typically sit and stare at
them for a while, waiting eagerly to be pet. Champ, on the other hand,
gets very excited and runs and jumps when first meeting someone.

I have learned a lot about responsibility, having to look out for the
needs of these two dogs. I have also learned to embrace their
differences and accept that Jasmine will not stop picking fights and
Champ will not stop chewing on anything left on the floor. Champ will
always be the smaller dog with all the energy in the world and Jasmine
will always be laid back and friendly to anyone that knocks on the
door. Although my dogs are almost complete opposites in size, looks,
and character, they are still the perfect pets. They are loyal, loving
and always looking out for their owners...Everything you could ask in
a pet.

Clarification of Answer by kriswrite-ga on 17 Nov 2004 12:03 PST
Hello again~

A fellow Researcher just contacted me, saying that "petted" in this
context is correct. I was always taught that "petted" was poor
English, but after a little research, I see that it's considered
acceptable. However, "pet" is also acceptable (and more traditional)
in this context.

Regards,
Kriswrite
jackdurden-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP. GREAT JOB!!

Comments  
Subject: Re: Are there any grammar errors in this paragraph?
From: ocelot77-ga on 17 Nov 2004 11:06 PST
 
I've been a scientific editor for >20 years and would happily correct
your work, but I can't sign up as an 'expert' (Google aren't accepting
any applications at the moment), so you can't pay me -- sorry!
Subject: Re: Are there any grammar errors in this paragraph?
From: fractl-ga on 03 Dec 2004 10:24 PST
 
...you forgot the tip :P

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