i am a 23 yrs old girl. i was work in a club before, i knew a guy
there and we have sex at the first day n sec day,we live in different
country, but we keep connecting untill now( more than one yr), we
visit each other quite often(of course i visit him more) and we
treavel a lot we see each other every couple weeks and we spent at
least 5 days together everytime. i am a open book for him and he
thought he knew me, but he always tell me i am not a serious type.
maybe because he knew that i always have some guy around me. and i am
too honest to him. i have never expect he will see me as his gf but i
still want to try or wait for someday he will like me or find out that
i like him and i didn't see him as one of the guy i hang out with. he
came to my country for businese twice in a month and we have a good
time, he never mention to me that he has gf and convience me he
doesn't have chance to have sex that often and rarely have chance to
see other girl, he makes me feel i am special girl he hang out with,
until two days ago he sent a email enclose some intimate pic, he said"
hey my gf find out our pic in his camera here it is" i shocked but i
reply him " did u get in trouble? should i stop connecting u" and he
told me is no problem his gf is not angry. we still have email like
before, so what does that means? why he suddenly tell me he has gf.
eventhought i knew he have  some girl like but i still upset, because
i never thought he has a official gf. what should i do with him now?
be a normal friend? tell him i like him and ask him what is his
feeling about me? or just left quitely?

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Clarification of Question by elling0506-ga on 24 Nov 2004 05:03 PST

thx for all the advice, i just told him my feeling by email, he didn't
say anything just keep helping me with my career searching. but before
i told him my feeling said he wnts to se me more at least 1 more time
and plan to take me to US he said he told me he has gf but i forgot,
mabe i really forgot that.
i knew i should leave him but i still want to see him maybe at least
one more time in US. will i hurt myself more? or i will be recover
before i meet him.

He's got a girlfriend?
And he's playing around on her with you...

Toss him out of your life immediately!!!!!!!!!

Guys that two time and cheat are worthless. Good riddance to him.

Steph53

I agree with Steph53. Dump the dude!

As to unwanted advice.  Never Never Never Never Never have sex with a
guy until you hook him.  Why, because if you do, you will Never Never
Never Never Never hook him.

You really need to decide what you want out of this relationship. 
Once you decide that you will better know how to proceed.  If you want
a true relationship, long term.  You must be firm and express your
expectations with him, do not have sexual relations until you firm
ground rules set for your relationship.  If these are not to your
liking; you MUST leave the relationship for at least a couple weeks. 
At which point you may or may not wish to revisit the ground rules. 
Good luck, there are lots of fish in the sea.

"Normal" means no sex.  He uses women for his own convenience and
cannot be trusted.  You will never be the only one for him.

Life is hard, but if you do the right thing, you will be surprised at
how well things work out for you.  The right thing is knowing that you
deserve someone who  will be faithful to you.  It is better to be
lonely now, than to cling to a bad relationship for fear of being
lonely.  You will meet the man you deserve.

There is this great book you should read that may help you with some
of your questions. It is written by a guy who used to be single but
then found the true love of his life. It is question and answer format
and addresses several different situations where women question what
the man is thinking about her or their relationship. It is an easy
read, very direct and yet surprisingly uplifting book. It also says
you are beautiful and tells you how to know when to move on if your
man is just not that into you. He explains it is a way I suppose most
of us never think about. But I think that is because he is looking at
it through the eyes of a man.

The title is "He's just not that into you." It is written by Greg Behrendt. 

Please get a copy and read it soon. It will give you peace.

"A normal friend?"
It is not possible for you to be a 'normal' freind. No normal friend
is constantly used as a sex object. Only very, very good friends agree
to use each others bodies. You may really good friends but there may
not be the type of love you seem to be looking for.

"Tell him i like him and ask him what is his feeling about me?"
Either put-up with the way things are or change things. You can try to
find out if he has similar feelings to you. If he does have simillar
feeling, you've got a totally new battle on your hands. If he dosen't,
you will have a choice of putting up with the way things are or
bringing an abrupt end to the sex.

Summary
If it is just sex you want then don't change a thing
If it is love you want, (and it is not available in that
realtionship), you will never get it if you stay the way you are. No
man will want to be with you if you are already somebody elses bit on
the side. So get rid of him and let the other blokes have a chance to
earn your time.

good luck

Run as fast and as far away from this guy as you can. You deserve
better. Take some pride in yourself and realize that. Learn to attract
a man with the sexiest organ a woman has... her BRAIN. I'm saying this
as someone who recently had a guy break her heart.

Jummie