What is a woman?

A woman is one of those curvy, shapely, delightful-sounding things
that have the whatchamacallits that go up and down on them.

Oh, wait.. that's a saxophone.

Mark, you're veterinarian, how could you know?  And what goes up and
down on a saxophone?  Although I have to admit that sometimes there
are things that go up and down on a woman.

"A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."  Rudyard Kipling

Whoa, wait girls!  That sounds belittling, but it admits that a woman
cannot be defined.

Here is what the guys at Princeton say, also no experts:

Definitions of woman on the Web:

    * an adult female person (as opposed to a man); "the woman kept
house while the man hunted"
    * womanhood: women as a class; "it's an insult to American
womanhood"; "woman is the glory of creation"; "the fair sex gathered
on the veranda"
    * charwoman: a human female who does housework; "the char will
clean the carpet"
    * a female person who plays a significant role (wife or mistress
or girlfriend) in the life of a particular man; "he was faithful to
his woman"
      wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

My Ivy League alma mater wouldn't get involved in such a discussion,
it didn't recognize their existance in my day.     But we did  ;)

"To the ladies," Myoarin

Myoarin, I was channeling Robert Klein's Young People's Guide to the Orchestra.

"The saxophone, boys and girls, is curvy, yellowy, and has nice pearl
buttons that jump up and down," he says, as a smoky sax wafts under.

Oh, I see.  I was thinking you were referring maybe to what my
father-in-law used to say when jello or pudding was served: 
"Sommerbluse".

DOM Myoarin