Alright, I've got a problem on my hands here...

I'm going to meet this girls parents this weekend, and I really need
to leave a good impression. Normally, I wouldn't fret about it, but
since her father is a retired drill instructor, I'm worrying more and
more every minute.

Another point, she says he hates guys with longer hair, I have long
hair! I know this is working against me, I do know that he enjoys Chet
Atkins, and he is a very strict person. I really need to leave a good
impresson on these folks.

So I'm asking you guys, will you please help me? I can't come up with
any good ideas. I know the basics of leaving a good impression, but I
think it's going to take more than that to leave one with him.

Thank you.

I know I haven't got much to offer here, but I'm sure a few of you
have been in my situation before, or maybe something like it, and can
answer it easily.

Stand up straight, shoulders back, chin in. March in to the house,
come smartly to attention in front of him and salute (no not a Nazi
salute).

Speak out loudly, 'Please to meet you SIR' (Emphasize the word 'sir'
which you should append to every sentence.)

Get the hair issue out of the way soonest.

'Just back from Baghdad, SIR. Had to disguise myself as a native, SIR.
Might have to go back, SIR. I've left the hair in place as a
precaution, SIR. Much prefer your hair style, SIR. But duty comes
first, SIR.'

That should do the trick!

LOL!

Yeah, too bad it isn't that easy. Can't lose the hair, she loves it.

Whose life is this anyway; yours and hers, or HIS? Gee Willikers, if
it's this bad NOW, just think what it will be like a year or two after
the wedding when you and he REALLY can't stand each other!

Not that you have any plans for marriage or anything, but when two
people want to be together, no matter how briefly, it shouldn't be
that difficult to be together. If the girl is of age I'd say she must
have some say in this as well.

I understand that you are an honorable person, wanting to do the right
thing in meeting her parents, but you have a right to be YOU and her
parents have a right to know who YOU really are if you make the
decision to meet them.

If you showed up at my house as an imposter (which is what you WILL be
doing if you don't present yourself genuinely) I'd be more dangerous
to you than if you showed me your truly colors (assuming you're at
least a decent fella).

Who is this General, anyway? Unless he's got 4 stars, I'd pretty much
want him as my friend (in time), and not my jailor.

It's just a thought.

lgcamp at www.webspawner.com/users/editmasters

I'm a grandma now, but I still remember all too well how my dad could
leave my dates quaking in their boots. No, he wasn't a drill
instructor, but he was a Navy vet, and certainly had that bearing plus
a DI's decibels. However, as I recall, the guys he was most impressed
with were the ones who looked him straight in the eye, pleasantly
answered his questions, and demonstrated not only proper
responsibility, but a proper appreciation of Daddy's little girl, i.e.
me - preferably by saying something to the effect of taking good care
of me and having me home on time and such like that. Makes me wanna
gag even now, but hey, that's what dad's are like ....  ;-) Oh - and
do make an effort to look at neat and tidy as possible. Doesn't mean a
tie, but ponytail your hair if it's long enough. If not at least be
sure it's combed and moussed in place, and your clothes are clean and
pressed. Then just be yourself, and remember - you and your girl's old
man do have one thing in common: you both like her - so start from
there and Good luck!

Ever see American Beauty? Maybe it'll turn out like that.

Have you seen 'Meet the Parents' or 'Meet the Fokkers?'

Tell your girlfriend that you have family emergency and you would like
reschedule the meeting until next time. heheheh. That would give you
sometime to perpair.

So.... how did it go?  Do tell!

I sincerely hope that you have not been forcibly enlisted. Or worse.
Please put us all out of our misery. SIR!

For other readers, since his weekend of HELL is gone, my advice is: BE
YOURSELF.  And, if he doesn't like you, and this dislike separates you
from your g.f., write it down as a good life adventure.

The point of the FOKKERS was he tried to be something he wasn't, and
that messed him up.